Really, who doesn’t like a bit of rice? As the late, great Mitch Hedberg once said, rice is great when you’re hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. There are countries all over the world that rely on rice to provide a bulk of their calories, and it goes along with so many other foods.
It’s great in Mexican food, Spanish food, and Asian food of all kinds. Put it in curry or chili. Simply make a bed of it and put anything you want on top of there. It’s great! Now that’s out of the way, Let’s talk about Edward Kang’s reasoning for including a quote like this. He was probably just having a little bit of fun at his own expense, while not even telling an untruth.
Why Yes, We ARE Jealous
Wearing a hijab – a traditional hair or head covering worn by many Muslim women in a number of different styles – at first seems like a bummer, but there are plenty of great advantages. It doesn’t matter who you are, you’ve probably rolled out of bed and crawled into the bathroom, still blinking the sleep from your eyes, only to see a ridiculous creature staring back at you from the mirror, hair all a-tangle.
Those who wear the hijab still have to deal with it – their hair is still attached to their head, after all – but they don’t have to worry about anyone else bringing it up. Out of sight, out of mind. Plus, think of the nice colors and patterns you can add to your outfit. They’re an accessorizer’s dream.
It's Not Required or Anything
There are a lot of people required to dress a certain way, but it turns out that this gal isn’t one of them. No, she’s just doing it because she knows that if she dressed the same way as all the other girls, none of them would get any attention from the studs walking the halls. They would only have eyes for her, and she just couldn’t bear the weight of all that attention.
Plus, she wanted to do something nice for all the other girls in school with her. Speaking seriously, it takes a good bit of confidence to talk about something that might be compulsory for her in such a witty, irreverent manner. There’s a small chance she could get some chastising for saying such a thing, but we’re proud of her being able to say something funny.
By Any Other Name
Maybe this person is old enough that he actually got a lot of people wondering, or maybe he was just asked a few times during high school. One way or another, he couldn’t come up with anything better for his senior yearbook quote, so Egor Krylkov decided to head all the whispers off at the pass.
We’d expect more people to pretend to have humps and hobble around, acting as if they are helping a mad scientist go about his world-changing work. Egor – more commonly spelled “Yegor” is a name from Russia, but it’s also from Belarus and Ukraine. A more common form is Igor, the classic helper of the Gothic scientist who is dabbling in things not meant for man to trifle with. But he looks pretty standard here. Maybe the hump comes in later.
Ready to Get Out of There
There are some people who just don’t recognize how good they have it while they’re in high school. They often don’t have to worry about where their meals are coming from, where they’re going to sleep at night, plus things like taxes, jobs, and all that fun stuff. They just know that they have to sit and listen to somebody drone on about the New Deal or something like that.
They don’t realize that they’re going to have to take a lot more agency once they’re out, and agency is hard work. Just look at Kayla, who was probably a member of the theater clique, but she just couldn’t work up the nerve to have an interest – even a fake one – in some of her classes. Well, maybe college was better.