From picking the perfect outfit to finding the perfect venue, many of us go all out when it comes time to have a great and memorable night out. While those things are important, it turns out that hard liquor is the ultimate way to make sure your night is one you won’t soon forget.
Unfortunately, as many posters pointed out, you must be careful about how much of this magical elixir you drink. Everyone knows that after a certain point all those fun moments become foggy memories the next day!
Attention!
Firearms are relatively common in Texas, and this sign looks to cover all of the options.
With an air of humor about it, the owners of this establishment clearly don’t want people to take their firearms out of their holsters, but if you are doing so to help them with someone trying to rob them, you will be thanked.
Please Do Not Enter
The United States of America has a culture of suing, and this sign looks to lay out the series of events for the passerby.
You have been warned that you may get hurt and that your defense won’t stand up in a court of law as this will be used as evidence against you!
Danger
Signs can state the obvious, and this one is a perfect example. Helicopters make lots of noise, and if you can’t figure out that the big thing with the spinning blades might be a dangerous thing for you to approach unsupervised, then the big bold letters at the top also try and make it clear.
There is a sense of humor in this sign too!
Life After Death
This is one of the age-old questions. If you’re not sure, this sign is warning you that you might be able to find out by trespassing.
For those less interested in dying, it’s advised to stay well away from the area to be safe.
Dads and Daughters
Guns are a popular theme here in Texas, and it’s likely that lots of dads will own a gun.
If you wrong their daughters, you may find yourself in trouble. So that’s a warning to those boys out there who might think of dumping a girl, because their dad may be on to you!
Jail Sale
This person clearly didn’t listen to the warning signs and is getting ready for a period of incarceration. Before they head off, it looks like they are trying to sell a few things to get a bit of cash ahead of their jail time.
Time to head over and see if we can find a bargain.
Bring Your Own
This sign is being lighthearted about men picking up women in bars.
You may have to bring a date to be sure you’ll spend your evening with a lovely lady, as the bar owners aren’t responsible for your chances of romance.
Beer
If you’re post-break-up, this may be the place to drown your sorrows.
They promise ex-tra cold beer for those times when you want to remember why you broke up in the first place.
Big Nachos
This is an interesting statement as we know people come in all shapes and sizes.
Are they suggesting they will match the portion of nachos to the size of the customers behind? Either way, there is free wifi available so you can upload a picture of your nachos when they do eventually arrive.
Food Pyramid
Texans sure love their food. Lots of meat, ice cream, pies, and of course Tex Mex. A combination of Mexican food with a Texan twist.
Expect Texan-size portions here, and a steak shaped like the state.
Vegetarian
We just saw how much Texans love their food, and their favorite food has got to be meat — and lots of it!
Here is a sign which has the classic Texan humor and focuses on how much they love their meat.
Trucks vs SUV
Another thing Texans love is their cars, but not just any car, Texans love their trucks.
On this sign, we can see what they consider to be a truck, and with their dry wit, what kind of vehicle does not.
Speed Limit
With big cars and wide-open freeways, you could find yourself cruising at dangerously high speeds.
This sign tells you the facts, gives you the options, and then because you’re in Texas tells you to throw caution to the wind. Don’t blame the sign if you get caught speeding.
Texas Map
This map gives you some perspective on the size of Texas.
Second, only to Alaska, you get the idea of how much land mass there is in Texas and why it’s no surprise that it can take whole days of driving just to get from one side to the other.
The Four Seasons
Texas is in the South and so close to the equator, therefore making the temperature hot.
In some areas it is hot and humid, others have more arid conditions, but one thing is for sure, summertime in Texas is hot hot hot.
Bipolar
There are exceptions to every rule, and the town of Laredo is one of those exceptions.
They have changeable weather and can jump from scorching heat to a wintery downpour from one day to the next. This small town, where everyone knows everyone also keeps visitors in check with a weather warning.
Population
Another small town called Alpine also has a sense of humor about its community. Listing all its stats, it’s then added them into a total with some simple arithmetic.
Who said anything thing about inflated numbers?
Karate Psychic
They say it’s important to diversify your business. This person took it very seriously and decided to offer two services that you might not combine together naturally.
But then again, you can never know if psychic karate could be for you.
Cat Food
Service station food is not known to be the healthiest or the tastiest.
This sign is here to tell you that other options do exist for as cheap as they sell it in a service station and it won’t look or taste disgusting either.
Sorry Were Open
As signs go, this one is pretty confusing. Not only will people not be sure if they are open or closed but it also probably won’t attract too many people inside.
Maybe someone should let them know that they shouldn’t be sorry about being open.
Texan Humor
This sign acts as a warning, but we aren’t sure what against. It isn’t clear that there is a bridge nearby and how low the bridge is.
It would be much more helpful to have the maximum height allowed, but then again, this is classic Texan humor.
R U Hairy?
Perhaps Texans like messaging to be blunt and to the point. This sign cuts out any niceties and asks a straightforward question.
If this sign were to speak to you, then being forward and asking a simple question might be just the ticket for you.
OOL
This sign is a warning that isn’t obvious as soon as you read it but makes you think for a second. Having a clear message is important but making people remember what you’re trying to tell them is equally important.
This can be achieved by driving a message home. We totally agree with this sign, as the message is on point and it’s a pretty disgusting thing to do.
Mommy
You’ll find this restaurant in Austin, and it is known for its classic Texan humor.
It’s best not to think about whether these words are right or not, but to take your mom for a drink as she probably deserves it!
Tight Pants
Austin and this restaurant clearly have a great sense of humor. These are fun facts that any visitor and resident can verify.
Maybe this should replace the traditional welcome sign as you enter the city?
Soy Milk
Here’s another sign from the same funny restaurant. It’s definitely something to think about, as “soy” in Spanish simply means “I am” so if milk could introduce itself this would be quite a funny thought to consider.
It’s obviously just a joke so to that we will say, “No soy senor”.
Yoga
Another sign from our funny Austin eatery. This time it’s warning you that this is your last chance to stop and there won’t be any food options for a while.
If you’re in the mood for yoga instead, then that’s probably a good thing.
Real Estate
Well, it may be true that house prices might be rising, and we all know how Willie Nelson feels about things getting high.
Making light of a serious subject is what this restaurant seems to do best with its signs.
Brian Williams
Thanks, Brian! We’re pleased to know this. We know from your day job that you’re in touch with what’s going on in the world.
Now, if you could give us some more information on the catering company that would also be really useful!
Batman
It’s important to be happy and to love yourself.
It’s also important to have ambition and to have something to aim for, and if you get an opportunity to ride in the Batmobile, we say take it! That would be a tick on a lot of people’s bucket lists.
Drink & Derive
We all know not to mix drinks, but who knew there was anything wrong with trying to do some math was dangerous ground too?
Here we are with more classic Texan humor and the restaurant owners making light of drink driving with a clever pun. A serious message delivered in a lighthearted way.
Green Burnt Orange
Jordan Speith is one of the youngest pro golfers to ever take the green jacket at Augusta, so we think he deserves all the congratulations he can get.
Having a Texan win the championship is clearly a source of pride for our favorite funny-signed restaurant.
Cookies
Sometimes signs throw us questions that make us think. Here they might have a point. Cookies are baked and not cooked and would fall under baked goods and not general cookery so why aren’t they called bakies?
This will just have to remain under one of those classic unanswered questions.
Lego
Another serious question to ponder. There probably are one or two more things that are more painful than stepping on a piece of lego, but that is definitely up there.
Stubbing your toe will also make you hop around in pain, and so will walking into the corner of your coffee table. Luckily, within a minute or two the pain will subside and you will be able to get on with your day.
Sports
Texans love their Longhorns, whether it’s the football, basketball, or baseball teams, it seems they all share the same name.
We are sure they appreciate all of the compliments on this sign. It’s a triple threat to be smart, strong, and sexy!
Dear Vegans
It would appear this restaurant is not so vegan-friendly. There is much evidence that a plant-based lifestyle is better for the body and the environment but we still like their humor.
We think there is probably enough food for both the animals and vegans to share.
Drive Friendly
Driving friendly means that you keep slow in built-up areas and then turn into a speed machine on the highway.
The Texan highways are known for their somewhat aggressive driving. So, slow and steady usually wins the race, unless you’re on a highway in Texas.
Hell
The town of Hondo has a strong religious atmosphere, and even on its welcome sign, they refer to it as being God’s country. They are asking their residents and visitors to adopt some friendly Texan driving and keep it nice and slow in built-up areas.
You might even be able to enjoy the local scenery as you pass through the town of Hondo.
Happy
There is indeed a town called Happy, and they know how to sell themselves. So, as they say, turn that frown upside down and get smiling.
There is nothing more important to the residents of Happy than being happy and making visitors feel welcome.
No Brain
Signs like this are typical of Texan humor. It may be programmed correctly, but the human mind is just as powerful and is asking whoever is operating this machine to think carefully when they are using it.
Sometimes machines can also malfunction so require human intervention. For this, the operator needs to think carefully and use their knowledge.
Math
The restaurant in Austin strikes again with another hilarious sign. We are told that as grown-ups, we need to be able to resolve problems that come our way.
This isn’t the first clever math pun we’ve seen but it’s the perfect word trick to bring a smile to the face of any passer-by.
God
Flan or Plan? Which every God has in mind for us, we hope it tastes as good as a flan does. Some say that flan is heavenly so perhaps this is what inspired this pun.
Whether it's flan or a plan this restaurant is giving us another funny play on words for us to enjoy.
Heimlich
This is a great question, and the answer is yes! For those who might ever need it, you need to make a fist with your hands, press it into your upper abdomen and make a quick upward movement.
Don’t tell us we don’t give your useful information here.
Tequila
These aren’t quite the words of Pumba and Timone, but we think they’d enjoy this twist on the original.
Either way, you’d have no worries!
Now Hiring
After a really good workout you might feel really proud of yourself, but in Texas humor rules, so unless you’ve got a funny story to tell alongside it, people might not be so interested.
Bear that in mind when you’re re-telling your gym stories.
Bobby Pins
If you want to know where your girlfriend has been, just follow the trail of hair clips she leaves in her wake.
Bobby pins may help a girl keep her hair in check, but they seem to disappear faster than Houdini.
Today`s Sign
When you think things can’t get any weirder, there is a new phrase or joke that will make sure you reconsider just how strange this word can be.
With so many funny signs around, it's no surprise that the guys also want to get rid of their laughter lines.
Willy Wonka
Well, it was the survival of the fittest in a way.
I guess it makes us think about the Oompa Loompas and all of the challenges in a whole new light.
Watch The Road
This is very true, but it almost feels like it’s trying to catch us out. Maybe you’re a passenger and taking in the signs as you drive by.
If you’re a driver though, remember to “Look, watch and listen at all times.”
Warning!
Warning: This sign may make you laugh!
It’s true that mistakes need to be made for lessons to be learned, so we hope no passers-by were hurt in the reading of this sign.
Good Grammar
The art of irony is being displayed on this sign. Don’t be fooled, they know they’ve made a grammatical mistake, they are just doing it to make a point.
We have to hand it to them, it is funny.
We Love Kids
It is very true that children demand a lot from their parents, and they say the older they get, the bigger the problem.
We can only hope that the tax breaks will increase as the size of the problem does. See, we can make jokes too!
Selfie
Who needs an apple when you have a smartphone or a camera?
Maybe it says a lot about you if you are constantly snapping selfies, so next time, instead of trying to capture the moment, just live it.
Coffee
What is it about the morning coffee that makes us happier and better people?
Whatever it is, we apologize if we have caused offense by not being adequately caffeinated at all times.
If Only
These are some wise words.
Learn from this guy's mistakes and the restaurant's humor about how to make those around you smile.
A Sad Breakfast
We suppose it depends on what your definition of brunch is...
But it's true that most things are improved with the addition of a cocktail, you just need to be able to handle alcohol before 12 pm.
Spellchecker
Our favorite Austin restaurant does it again, this time using irony and language to make their joke.
So even though their food may be delicious, they could probably still benefit from a spellchecker.
Candy Crush
Requests like this are some of the most annoying on the internet, and this restaurant wants you to know exactly how annoying they find them.
We’re totally with you on this one!
Cowboys Are Democrats
Texas is known for being a Republican state so to vote Democrat might be an unusual choice for some.
It shouldn’t matter where you live though, you should vote for whoever you want and wear whatever you like.
Seven Dwarves
You may need to read this twice as upon first glance you may think it’s just a general statistic, where in fact they are talking about snow white and her seven dwarves.
We believe being in a Disney classic, probably made them very happy.
Welcome To Texas
If brunch is an unhappy affair unless accompanied by alcohol, it’s no surprise that this sign also exists.
We wonder which line was the longest, probably the sober line, as the blind wouldn’t be able to see the sign, and the drunk ones wouldn’t be able to stand in a line!
69
You have to be able to read that pretty quickly if you were to catch the small print at the bottom, especially if you’re driving at 69.
We guess you would think twice about that speed limit as usually they are rounded up to the nearest 5 or 10.
Sorry
We all have regrets in life, and this one is probably the one that most adults can relate to.
How much would you love to take a nap after lunch every day? Still, you live, and you learn!
No Trespassing
Well, that gets the message across loud and clear, though to do all three seems excessive. Stay away, as you’ll be lucky to get out alive, and if you do, you’ll still end up in court.
It seems Texans have no mercy when it comes to trespassers.
Sharp Edges
This isn’t the most useful of signs as its real message is written in tiny print at the bottom, but it would make a passer-by laugh at how cautious you should be about the sign’s sharp edges...
Especially as they are smooth and curved!
Woodrow`s
For all we know beer could exist on Mars, it would undoubtedly make it a more exciting prospect to visit.
This may take a while, so in the meantime, we can stop at Little Woodrow’s for the beer and try and save the planet at the same time.
Bull
That bull is super speedy, so if you wish to cross that field alive, you better have some running legs on you.
We love this warning sign as it's getting across a serious message in a light-hearted way.
Satan
Texas summers can be hot and uncomfortable, you could even say the heat was hellish.
It’s no surprise that they are making jokes about giving it back to the devil in exchange for some more mild weather conditions.
Intelligent Cows
This is probably wishful thinking that the cows might be able to close the gate after themselves.
You never know, maybe the cows are smarter than we give them credit for.
Be Ware!
Trespassing may be a problem, but this homeowner has his own solution. It might not be a good outcome for whoever tries though, as this homeowner looks like they’d reach for their gun in that situation.
It’s best to assume it’s not safe to pass and no one will get hurt.
Hot Sauce
It seems that guns are a common theme here in Texas. Beer and hot sauce are a common theme all over America.
All three combined may be just what you need to get you through any sticky situation.
Hokey Pokey
Another excellent example of wordplay here. We remember doing the hokey pokey as kids at birthday parties.
Don’t forget to shake it all about!
Suicidal Deer
We have never seen a sign like this before. We are guessing the deer might not be aware of oncoming vehicles and step out into the road without looking, or even knowing to look.
So, watch out and drive slowly for the next mile.
Faith Lift
We love a pun and for this church is referring to how life can be difficult sometimes and, in those times, people can turn to religion to help them through.
Raise your faith level, and life might seem less ugly.
Lake Ahead
It looks like this sign was planted before the lake filled up. Perhaps this photo was taken during a flood season and is now looking quite ironic.
We understand why some passer-by has found this funny.
Existentialism
We saw how much landmass Texas had when we compared it to the map of Europe. It’s no surprise that there are vast expanses of absolutely nothing.
22 miles, is almost as long as a marathon, so that’s a lot of nothing.
Only In Texas
Another trip back to our favorite funny restaurant for some sound advice on not to overpay for your coffee.
That being said, there is nothing better than a perfectly made latte.
No Checks
Texans like to do things the old-fashion way. That includes paying for things.
No checks though. Checks are basically useless pieces of paper in Texas.
Calling It Like It Is
We've all been there. Sometimes we're on the more decisive side of things, sometimes we're not.
The key is to find the right person to deliberate with.
Astronomy
Texas has something for everyone. Even science geeks with a sense of humor.
What makes your day?
Look Up
Clouds are often romanticized, which is exactly why this sign is so funny.
Now look up and find some cool shapes.
A Man's Best Friend
Some food for thought for dog owners.
Your dog would love the sign too.
Weather
The unbearable Texas heat could drive people crazy.
Still, no matter what, calling the ex is never a good idea.
Reality Check
Valentine's Day is a day of reckoning for both single people, people in loving relationships, and everyone in between.
Make sure you know which group you're in.
Vegan
Introverts would appreciate this funny sign.
Sometimes you just feel like being at home.
Can You Hear Me?
All-you-can-eat pancakes for breakfast sound like a great idea.
Musical concerts in a school for the deaf, however, not so much.
Crossing The Road
The drunk walk is definitely something to beware of.
Both walkers and drivers should always lookout.
Seasons
Being season-appropriate is always nice. Especially when it comes with a positive twist on body image.
We wonder what they would have to say about summer.
History
Salad always feels like such nice, healthy food. Apparently, it wasn't hard to put a murderous twist on it.
RIP Caesar.
Proposal
You can't miss out on that kind of sale.
You pop the question and you two go to the shooting range to celebrate. Who would say no to that?
Road-trip
If there is one thing that can beat singing in the shower, it's singing in the car with a friend.
We would recommend you start with Bohemian Rhapsody and see where it takes you.
Welcome
This sign excels in honesty but it's still hard to believe someone would want to get in there.
Enter at your own risk.
The Secret to a Bikini Body
Whether it's for reasons related to health or wanting to look your best during swimsuit season, many of us find ourselves researching the best ways to eat better.
And while countless books, magazines, and media figures have all tried their best to advise us on the ideal diet, it seems like this burger joint in Texas actually has the secret … and we couldn’t be happier! It turns out that the secret to the perfect diet is balancing one juicy burger in each hand, getting fit couldn’t be tastier!
This Sign Rocks
There are many signs which require context to understand, but we’re going to go out on a limb and assume that this bathroom is located near some sort of mine or rock quarry.
We’re not quite sure why the people using this restroom have rocks or why they’re in such a rush to wash said rocks in this sink. Whatever the reason is, this “rock-washing” issue is apparently so severe that someone had to go out of their way to have this sign created!
Wise Words to Live By
During the 1960s, the idea of “free love” reigned supreme. It was immortalized with the popular saying, “make love, not war”. While a quick look at world history would demonstrate that many leaders didn’t take this saying to heart, it’s still a popular slogan for many.
This Mexican restaurant decided to put a decidedly Southern take on the famous slogan. We have to agree that the world would probably be a better (and more delicious) place if we concentrated on making tacos instead of war!
A Heavenly Place
While most Americans can have a somewhat-inflated sense of pride when it comes to representing their home state, it’s nothing compared to the average Texan. Those from the Lone Star State are known to be extremely proud of their roots and will often sport some sort of merchandise to represent their state.
This sign, however, takes Texas state pride to the next level, or rather the highest level — heaven! While many people outside the state wouldn’t consider Texas to be the closest thing to the celestial city, this person certainly does!
Meet Your Maker
In the many parts of the south, it’s not uncommon for everything from town names to signs to have a religious element. This humorous sign promises a not-so-funny end to anyone who dares to trespass on this private property.
As the sign says, praying is a good way to meet the “big guy upstairs”, but making the poor decision to step foot on this person’s property will ensure a quick end to your life and possibly an even faster meeting with him! It’s probably best to heed this warning and stay off this person’s turf!
Which Way?
Thanks to apps like Google maps, you don’t have to be the Lewis and Clark of your friend group in order to interpret a map. That said, it’s still easy to get lost when directions are vague or given by someone who is terrible at giving directions.
Luckily, this street in Lake Jackson, Texas is the perfect place for someone with a terrible sense of direction to wander around! All they have to do is go “this way” or was it “that way”? Either way, we’re sure they’ll get to their destination eventually...
Best Part of Waking Up
If you thought that breakfast was the best part of waking up, then these Texans are going to prove you wrong. Apparently, they know that like a cup of coffee, gossip is best served hot and as early as possible.
So forget the eggs and toast, these Southerners are filling up on the latest and juiciest gossip to get their day ready. Just keep in mind that while the coffee and food continue to be served throughout the day, your window for telling lies closes before seven in the morning.
A Real Happy Hour
Most people would assume that the term “happy hour” gets its name from the idea that discounted drinks and social events tend to make people happy. This bar, however, wants its patrons to arrive happy and already in a good mood.
Those in different moods will be treated questionably so if you ever find yourself feeling thirsty, but in a mood that’s not exactly “happy,” you might want to avoid this bar in the Texan town of Blanco. Your unhappy mood will not be welcomed.
Miss You Too
In the days when it was popular to send a postcard from an exotic destination, it was common to end your message by saying “wish you were here.” This charming bar called the Cartoon Saloon in Texas decided to put its own spin on the popular letter salutation by changing it to “wish you were beer.”
There’s also the possibility that the sign has nothing to do with the popular saying, and maybe they just mean it literally. After all, who hasn’t wished that a cold one would just appear out of nowhere?
Park It Over Here
You would think that a person who spends most of their day on the back of a horse wouldn’t have much need for a parking space, but apparently, they do. This “only in Texas” sign was created just for the horseback riding cowboys of the Lone Star State.
So if you’re looking for a place to park your horse or another ride simply follow the directions on this sign. We have a feeling that these signs are pretty common across the state, especially in rural farmlands.
Words to Remember Before You Enter
Given the less-than-desirable track record that many politicians have, it’s no surprise that some people don’t really trust their elected officials. From broken promises to some pretty questionable behavior, there are many examples of politicians behaving badly — giving plenty of reasons for people to become cynical.
The owners of this property are making no qualms about their political opinions and to be honest, with this attitude, we would be surprised that any politicians would even want to enter this place. Talk about feeling unwanted!
Right Time, Right Place
There are some images that seem to have been taken at the perfect time and perfect place and this picture is a great example of that. This image was snapped by a Texan trekking through their Dallas neighborhood after an unusually powerful winter storm battered the neighborhood just a short time before.
On their way, they spotted the sign for Hope Street on the ground. Like many of the people left without power and heating, their hope for any sort of relief had also fallen. Thankfully, hope (and power) was soon restored!
Deep Trouble
When you own your own ranch, you can pretty much come up with any name when it comes to naming your homestead. While this level of creativity could be a good thing, it can also result in some rather inappropriate names — like this ranch.
Perhaps the owners of this ranch came up with this name to warn visitors of what they might encounter when they enter this property. The name is even funnier when you look at the cutout silhouettes of the cows on each side of the sign.
Advertising, Texas Style
When it comes to advertising your business, business owners can get a bit creative, even using large and expensive props. This person, who owns a skydiving business in Texas, decided to use an airplane to advertise their business.
Using the dangerous and unpredictable nature of small planes, they suggested that everyone should learn how to skydive just in case they get into a “perfectly good airplane” and need to make a quick escape! Seems like pretty effective advertising if you ask us!
Where Are You?
We’ve all seen names of streets or cities that make us giggle or blush, but some names of streets just leave us feeling puzzled like this one. With all the possible names that could have been used to name this street, we’re not sure why developers settled on the name “uncertain.”
Perhaps they couldn't come up with the perfect name or maybe they were using it as a placeholder for something better? Either way, we can't imagine being lost in this area and having to try to explain that your location was “uncertain!”
Things Seen and Heard
When you’re traveling through Texas, it’s not surprising to come across warning signs related to cattle. And while it’s good that these signs warn visitors that this area is home to herds of cattle, we’re more interested in what’s going on above the picture of the cow.
What does this flying saucer image mean? Should drivers or visitors to the area be wary of what could be hovering above them? It turns out that in this Texan town, you need to not only look out for dangers in front of you but also above you!
Putting Up Walls
From playing music too loud to painting their homes ridiculous colors, it’s not uncommon for people to have some ill feelings for their neighbors. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much for tensions between neighbors to easily break out.
Thanks to this sign, however, we now know the secret to a more peaceful neighborhood — walls and fences. Well, out of sight, out of mind! These high barricades can make neighbors feel at peace with one another. That seems like sound advice!
Something to Apply Everyday
Let’s be honest, it seems that common sense isn’t all too common. Perhaps that’s because many people tend to rush into things or proceed without taking time to think about their actions.
Like the not-so-pleasant-smelling guy sitting next to you on the bus who feels like deodorant is optional during the hot summer days, many people also feel like they could go without a careful application of common sense. Think of how much better smelling and just generally better our world would be if people applied deodorant and common sense on a daily basis!
Which Side Is Your Favorite?
With so much focus on the importance of great eyebrows as part of a beauty routine, it’s no surprise that many of us spend a ridiculous amount of time grooming and maintaining these two strips of hair on our faces.
But despite spending tons of money on pencils, powders, and pomades, sometimes we just can’t seem to get both eyebrows to look identical. It’s this stubborn “uniqueness” of our brows that makes this sign both true and hilarious. It seems like it’s not only you who plays favorites when it comes to your brows!
Seems Oddly Specific
When it comes to navigating your way around a kitchen, people are all too happy to dole out advice. And while some of that advice can seem a bit pointless or useless knowledge, we’re going to take this person’s wise words of advice.
After all, they definitely sound like they are talking from experience! We do have to ask though, of all the things you could cook in your birthday suit, how did it ever seem like a good idea to fry something in scalding hot oil?
Feeling Fancy
Most of us have had moments where we’ve had a bit too many adult beverages resulting in some pretty funny moments. While many of us know our limits and know when we’re getting past the point of being just tipsy, apparently some people do not.
Luckily this sign perfectly explains how to know when you're past that point. It turns out that there are just some words you can’t pronounce when you’ve had a bit too much to drink. Most people use breathalyzers, this Texas business uses sophisticated vocabulary!
How Sweet the Sound
“Amazing Grace” is one of the most well-known hymns or even songs in the English language with famous singers like Aretha Franklin and Carrie Underwood signing their own renditions of the classic tune.
The song, which was written in the late 1700s, continues to inspire us even centuries later with its powerful words about the grace of god. The lyrics about forgiveness and redemption have moved even the most secular listeners. This Texan church reminds worshippers that even in their darkest moments, they can find strength in their faith.
Booming With Bad Ideas
It doesn’t take an expert on explosives to know that drinking and making things explode probably isn’t the best idea. In fact, it’s probably one of the worst combinations you could think of. Unfortunately, in Texas, the rules that most people follow when handling fireworks and other explosives aren’t usually followed.
Not only does this attitude result in countless accidents or worse, but it’s why most medical professionals dread holiday weekends. There are many reasons why Texans should be proud, but not following basic fire safety procedures isn’t one of them!
How to Beat the Heat
From unbearable humidity to temperatures in the triple-digits, Texas summers can be deadly. Though many of us thankfully have air conditioning, this Texan bar has some wise words to help you keep cool — basically don’t leave your home until fall.
While the rest of the country may be raking up leaves and hitting up their local pumpkin patch, Texans are still dripping sweat and wishing that the heat would go away. You know it's hot when a bar is telling you to skip the margaritas and pick up a glass of water!
So, That’s His Secret
If you follow the latest Hollywood gossip, you’ll know that one of the most common questions gossip columnists have is “how does Pete Davidson land all of these amazing women?”
The question of course refers to the comedian and former “Saturday Night Live” host’s rather perplexing dating history. Pete has been seen with some of Hollywood’s most desirable women from Ariana Grande to Kim Kardashian yet few would consider him to be particularly good-looking. So take this Texan restaurant’s warning seriously, or you may just see Pete on the arm of your girl!
Trust Issues
While most of Texas-based El Arroyo’s signs are hilarious takes on pop culture or events, some of them are funny because they’re so true. Though many of us would never admit it, there have been moments when we haven’t always been able to control our bodily functions.
Sometimes we may think we know our bodies, and that type of blind self-confidence or self-assurance can sometimes result in some unpleasant situations like this sign hints at. It turns out that after a few too many El Arroyo tacos, you might end up passing more than just some gas!
Like Clockwork
When it comes to conversations about the weather, some people are never happy. For some people, as soon as the sun starts to shine, it’s a moment to get nervous because it marks the beginning of a long and hot summer.
While other people may get excited to finally get some warm and sunny days, particularly after winter, these people see the sun as something to dread. We don’t blame them though, with temperatures reaching over 100 degrees during the summer, most Texans aren’t too happy to welcome the sun!
Taco Tummies
Care Bears are one of the most beloved classic characters and toys in recent history. With their adorable looks and heartwarming stories, it's no wonder the characters are still adored even decades after they first came out.
One of the cutest features of these little bears is the “belly badges” or pictures on their stomachs that describe the bear’s special powers or roles. While the Care Bears typically sported things like rainbows and hearts, this person would definitely have a taco as their “belly badge!”
How to Have a Good Time 101
From picking the perfect outfit to finding the perfect venue, many of us go all out when it comes time to have a great and memorable night out. While those things are important, it turns out that hard liquor is the ultimate way to make sure your night is one you won’t soon forget.
Unfortunately, as many posters pointed out, you must be careful about how much of this magical elixir you drink. Everyone knows that after a certain point all those fun moments become foggy memories the next day!
Perfect Soup Weather
Though many people associate Texas with blazing hot sun and deserts, the Lone Star State also suffers from some brutal winters and even snow in certain areas. While not every Texan has a fireplace to warm up, most have their own Texan secret to keeping warm during the cooler months — an amazing chili soup recipe.
Almost every Texan has their own way of making this hearty stew, and we’re willing to bet that the restaurant behind this sign has their own signature chili that they're ready to serve up to chilly guests!
Rules to Live (and Dance) by
Even the most carefree and fun bar has its own set of rules for customers to follow, and the Taco Express in Austin, Texas is no different. If you want to dance until dawn, you better make sure that you’ve removed the spurs from your boots before hopping onto the tables to dance!
To be fair, those metal spurs can leave quite the mark on wood tables, especially after a few drinks. While the bar’s rules might seem strict, the good news is that they're offering free drinks…tomorrow!
A Perfect World
When it comes time to naming places, people often look to various sources for inspiration. Some towns or cities are named after natural landmarks found in the area, some are named after people, and some are named after how many Texans see their home state — a utopia!
While many other Americans may not agree with the idea that Texas is this perfect and ideal place, some Texans certainly think that their state is a little slice of heaven. It turns out that the place got its name after its first choice, “Montana, Texas” was taken!
Parking Commandments
Even the least religious person is most likely familiar with the ten commandments. After all, most of our modern laws and society use those ancient laws as inspiration or guiding principles. While many of us are familiar with common commandments such as “Thou Shall Not Steal” we guess the ancient figures of the bible never had to deal with the parking situations in most cities!
This Texan parking lot took parking to the next (and biblical) level by erecting this hilarious sign to warn drivers of the ultimate sin — parking where they’re not supposed to!
Weird Places
When most people think about Texas they typically think of cowboys and wide-open spaces. But behind that traditional image is a surprisingly hip and progressive city — Austin. Austin is known as a hipster's paradise with countless food trucks, funky wall murals, and tons of ironic beard-sporting and tattooed residents.
Austin’s hipster reputation has not only inspired tons of young Texans to flock to the state’s capital city but has also led to the common phrase “keep Austin weird”. Basically, keep Austin unlike most typical Texan cities. In this Texan city, being weird has never been cooler!
Rules Were Meant to Be Broken
While we would never support someone intentionally breaking the law, we have to admit — this picture is pretty funny. Apparently, this graffiti “artist” doesn’t think that these rules apply to them. Or maybe they just think that rules are meant to be broken.
Unfortunately, it seems like the rules of the state aren’t the only rules they want to ignore. It seems that our artistic friend needs to learn the rules regarding basic sentence structure because the word “not” should have followed the printed word “is”.
Back to School
It's no secret that many Texans would consider themselves to be religious. In fact, Texas is home to some of the biggest and most famous churches and religious figures. Many people frequently attend church services every Sunday.
This sign reminds churchgoers that this house of worship can provide an important wealth of information to worshippers of all ages — something that many religious people would agree with. Even for those who are not religious, it’s nice to know that there are some activities in which the whole family can take part.
Where What Is?
When most of us are driving around lost in a new place, the last thing most of us would want to see is a bunch of nonsensical and strange fake road signs. Unfortunately for visitors to Amarillo, Texas, kooky signs are one of the most common sights to see.
Signs saying things like “Road Does Not End” and “I’m Alive” line the streets of this Texan town thanks to an eccentric artist named Stanley Marsh 3. These signs, just one of Stanley’s bizarre public art installations, have been confusing drivers for decades!
You’ve Been Warned!
In recent years, there has been an increase in people moving to Texas from other parts of the country. Whether it's for political or financial reasons, more and more are choosing to relocate to the Lone Star State.
While many of these newcomers are still getting used to the word “y’all” and Texas-sized portions, there’s another part of living in this state that many are shocked to experience — the weather. Thankfully, this sign was kind enough to warn these recent transplants that no matter how hot they feel now, there’s more to come!
Making a Break for It
It’s no surprise that Texas has become one of the most desirable places in the country to relocate to. For some people, this move can’t come soon enough which is why the Texas Department of Transportation decided to poke fun at the big rush.
This sign warns drivers to slow down while reassuring them that they’re already in their new home — that is if they don’t get a speeding ticket before! Considering the vast size of Texas, it’s not surprising that people wouldn’t know where the state begins or ends!
No Time to Rhyme
When it comes to warning drivers of flood zones, governments have to get creative… and maybe even a bit poetic as this sign displays. This creatively-written sign warns drivers that the road in front of them can get easily flooded and can quickly turn deadly.
We hope that the catchy rhyming words will inspire drivers to heed the warning and turn around. Though most of Texas is pretty flat and dry, rain storms can quickly lead to deadly and sudden flash floods which can quickly wash away a road.
Not the Best Travel Companions
For many people, passing a large prison gives them a creepy feeling. Now imagine that strange feeling and multiply it — that’s probably how people feel after seeing this sign along a Texan road.
The fact that the prison had to actually make these signs means they most likely had to deal with several “incidents” involving escaped prisoners and naïve drivers. In case scary movies haven’t made you scared to pick up a stranger, this sign will certainly make you think twice about picking up a hitchhiker on the side of the road!
Spooky Signs
It’s an unfortunate reality that even a quick glance at a text message or holding your phone can considerably increase your chances of being involved in an accident. For this reason, the Department of Transportation has worked hard at making sure drivers are aware of the dangers.
This spooky sign warns drivers that in those few seconds they used to post their messages or photo on social media could cause a deadly car accident. It may seem like a childish rhyme, but the message is nothing to joke about!
Watch Out!
Though Texans have an often-exaggerated pride in their home state, they have to admit that the state is full of dangerous things. From extreme weather to some deadly animals, the Lone Star State can be a scary place.
A Reddit user shared this photo of a sign found outside of a tornado shelter (did we mention Texas’s extreme weather?). If being blown away by a tornado wasn’t scary enough, you apparently have to also keep a close eye on your surroundings if you don’t want to get bitten by a rattlesnake!
It’s in the Name
There are some moments when you wonder why someone had to actually create a sign warning others of something that seems so obvious. But then again, common sense isn’t too common. With its wide-open landscape, Texas is home to countless cattle farms.
Many Texans are used to seeing cattle grazing, especially in more rural areas. Even if you’re not familiar with different types of cattle, the name longhorn should tell you enough about these potentially dangerous bovines. One look at their intimidatingly long and pointy horns, and anyone would know to stay away!
Fun if You Survive!
The state of Texas is also home to the largest active-duty base used by the US Armed Forces, Fort Hood. This Reddit user posted this sign found on the road that connects the Fort Hood base with the picturesque area of Belton Lake.
While Belton Lake is one of the most beautiful recreational areas in the state, many people would be a bit creeped out to drive there after seeing this sign. While we love fishing and boating as much as the next person, we might want to avoid this area.
Goes Without Saying
Though it may seem surprising, the waterways of Texas are home to the American alligator. While rattlesnakes may get most of the attention, Texas’s other deadly reptile is just as common.
We can understand the importance and reason for the first part of this sign as alligators are experts at lurking stealthily beneath the lake’s surface. However, the second half of the sign is just puzzling. How would you annoy an alligator? Make fun of its teeth? Call it names? We can’t imagine what park rangers had to have witnessed before they decided to create this sign.
The Not-So-Great Outdoors
Many people would agree that the world can be divided into two groups of people — people who enjoy hiking, and those who rather do just about anything else. If anyone had even the faintest uncertainty about going on a hike in Texas, this sign would definitely make them think twice.
Not only does this hiking trail offers hikers the potential to come across deadly rattlesnakes, but it’s also home to poison oak and prickly cactus thorns — dangerous plants and animals. No thank you!