Oregon is a happy hunting ground for the fancy ice cream craze that’s taking America by storm. Savory ice cream sounds delectable, right? You plop a scoop of some ice cream in a bowl, maybe top it with a little chocolate sauce drizzle and chopped peanuts, and put on a good film. But Oregon’s savory ice cream is on a whole other level of awfulness. While there are some savory flavors that suit ice cream well, i.g. maple bacon, there are others that don’t.
Unsurprisingly, Portlanders discovered a way to ruin the ice cream. How? With ham-flavored soft serve. Bone marrow milkshakes. Tomato water olive oil sherbet (what even is “tomato water?”). Ice cream with turkey skin brittle in it. MY EYES. MY TASTEBUDS. ALL MY SENSES HURT.
Ohio -- Cincinnati Chili
The name doesn't sound deterring but that's because it's a ploy to get you to eat it. Stay strong, resist the temptation. The Cincinnati chili is basically cinnamon-soaked half-liquid meat thrown over noodles that even Top Ramen would reject because of concerns with its quality. It's then topped with enough shredded cheese to choke even a moose.
You know it's extra bad when Cincinnatians get all defensive about it. Those Cincinnatians are not to be trusted!
Oklahoma -- Fried Okra
I hate to break it to you, Oklahoma, but there's not much you can do to Okra to make it edible. Not even deep-frying it. Okra looks like the consequence of a bet that God made with an angel that he could make humans eat anything he wanted.
The only good thing you can say about Okra (as we're trying to stay positive here) is that it's slightly better than the state from which it originates. But, there are definitely some pretty low standards there.
Pennsylvania -- Primanti Brothers Sandwiches
Pennsylvanians love to pride themselves on their sandwiches. While you think that it might be a pleasant idea to throw fries on a sandwich, it's actually FAR from it. This is a terrible idea and you shouldn't listen to anyone who attempts to convince you otherwise. It's especially horrible when it is packed tightly into the worst sandwich in the history of sandwiches.
How difficult is it to ruin a sandwich? Pretty darn challenging! But Pennsylvania manages to do it. Well... they do have a cracked bell and I thought those were also quite difficult to break. Perhaps there's a place in the world where fries on a sandwich works, but in PRI-MAAAAAAA-nee, it just doesn't.
Rhode Island -- Stuffed Quahogs
Stuffed clams aren't the worst thing in the world, but visually they basically look like you threw up into a clam and decided to call it food. You can basically get a whiff of it just from looking. It's like a stare n' sniff. If it's true you eat with your eyes, now I wish I was blind.
Stuffed clams are very popular in Rode Island. They consist of a breadcrumb and minced clam mixture that is baked on the half shell of a quahog hard shell clam. Other ingredients that may be found in the breadcrumb mixture are meat, chili pepper, lemon juice, bell peppers, celery, onion, garlic, and spices. I'm sure you're already looking for flights to Rhode Island.