Stuffed clams aren’t the worst thing in the world, but visually they basically look like you threw up into a clam and decided to call it food. You can basically get a whiff of it just from looking. It’s like a stare n’ sniff. If it’s true you eat with your eyes, now I wish I was blind.
Stuffed clams are very popular in Rode Island. They consist of a breadcrumb and minced clam mixture that is baked on the half shell of a quahog hard shell clam. Other ingredients that may be found in the breadcrumb mixture are meat, chili pepper, lemon juice, bell peppers, celery, onion, garlic, and spices. I’m sure you’re already looking for flights to Rhode Island.
Oregon -- Savory Ice Cream
Oregon is a happy hunting ground for the fancy ice cream craze that's taking America by storm. Savory ice cream sounds delectable, right? You plop a scoop of some ice cream in a bowl, maybe top it with a little chocolate sauce drizzle and chopped peanuts, and put on a good film. But Oregon's savory ice cream is on a whole other level of awfulness. While there are some savory flavors that suit ice cream well, i.g. maple bacon, there are others that don't.
Unsurprisingly, Portlanders discovered a way to ruin the ice cream. How? With ham-flavored soft serve. Bone marrow milkshakes. Tomato water olive oil sherbet (what even is "tomato water?"). Ice cream with turkey skin brittle in it. MY EYES. MY TASTEBUDS. ALL MY SENSES HURT.
Pennsylvania -- Primanti Brothers Sandwiches
Pennsylvanians love to pride themselves on their sandwiches. While you think that it might be a pleasant idea to throw fries on a sandwich, it's actually FAR from it. This is a terrible idea and you shouldn't listen to anyone who attempts to convince you otherwise. It's especially horrible when it is packed tightly into the worst sandwich in the history of sandwiches.
How difficult is it to ruin a sandwich? Pretty darn challenging! But Pennsylvania manages to do it. Well... they do have a cracked bell and I thought those were also quite difficult to break. Perhaps there's a place in the world where fries on a sandwich works, but in PRI-MAAAAAAA-nee, it just doesn't.
South Carolina -- Fried Pig Ears
America loves pork and for good reason. There are many delicious parts of a pig that can be turned into a stunning dish. But who in the world looked at a pig's ears and thought that it would be a nice idea to deep fry them? That's literally disgusting.
We want to love South Carolina for giving us shrimp and grits, but this kind of sours things for us.
South Dakota -- Chislic
While we aren't surprised that Chislic comes from South Dakota, we are still disappointed. Basically, it's greasy dice-sized chunks of meat on toothpicks. That's about all that they are. And somehow, it's a regional delicacy.
Sorry, I don't know why I said it somehow. Considering that it's from South Dakota, it makes perfect sense.