NNBB Garden Gloves with Fingertips Claws
The claws are out! Has your pomeranian gotten a little too big for its (furry) boots? Well serve up a slice of humble pie with these garden claws and show your pet who’s boss.
Perhaps this reviewer could pair up with their precious pup to make a digging dream team!
Bacon Flavored Mints
When Heston Blumenthal first arrived on the scene, much of the food-eating world thought the British chef wasn't a full fridge if you know what we mean. What business did he have making snail porridge and bacon-and-egg ice cream?!
But as people soon discovered, old Heston was a genius. His food was delicious and his outrageous flavor combinations just somehow worked. This, apparently, did not.
Horse Head Mask
Wanting to blend into a crowd inconspicuously? This, apparently, is the way to do it… With all due respect, we feel as though wearing a giant rubber horse’s head is going to attract double the amount of attention, but hey, you do you.
Worst case scenario, people mistake you for a washed-up TV-star horse who had a hit series in the ‘90s and is trying to get his acting career back on track (shout out, BoJack Horseman fans!)
Gigantic Blow-Up Beach Ball
Ah, summer days by the beach. Hearing the waves crashing against the shore, the seagulls cawing overhead, the bliss of lying back against the sand without a care in the world… except that a gigantic red, blue, and yellow beach ball is coming your way at the speed of light and destroying everything in its path!
If you’re planning on buying this danger to humanity, we ask that you please play with it on a deserted island and NOT on a crowded beach or...we can't believe we have to say this but...NOT in your living room. Thank you.
Accouterments Bacon Soap in Tin
In an age of dating apps and swiping right to find love, there is something rather sweet (or should we say salty?) about this reviewer's real-life romantic interaction.
They say that the way to man's heart is through his stomach, so maybe this reviewer is onto something. If you want to find love, then it's time to replace your lavender-scented body wash with this bar of bacon soap.