This is what happens when a horse guy and a boat guy get together. You might think it’s not a great name for a boat, but go ahead and say it out loud. At the top of your voice. Preferably while you’re at work or in some other public place. Ha ha, we got you. Now there are people looking at you funny, or they’re trying to ignore you altogether.
Yes, “Hoof Hearted” means something a little different if you say it out loud. For some reason, it doesn’t sound the same if you just say it in your head. We wonder why that happens. Our mental voice says things much clearer, without all the tongues and lips in the way. But when we say it out loud, the truth is revealed.
You Bought ANOTHER One?
One boat is usually the right amount of people for a family. In a boat house that’s this big, there’s space for another one – a bigger vessel, perhaps, for when you want to have some friends over. But a third boat? Who in their right mind would buy a third boat when there isn’t even space in the house to keep it?
We’re not sure if boat fanatics are ever in their right minds, now that we think about it. Why would someone need three boats? They all seem to be well-made and kept in good condition, so it’s not like one of them is a lot older and had to be replaced. Don’t look at us, we don’t have any boats – we just like to talk about the names.
The First Thing That Comes to Mind
Yes, you have to come up with a name for your ship if you want to take it out into busy waters. But, no, you don’t have to have a name that is really complicated. We’re a little surprised that the registration office allowed this to be a name, but it’s no better or worse than any other name for a boat, we guess.
Maybe the person who bought this asked their daughter what she wanted to name the boat, but she was only four. Still, it’s a better name than “Boaty McBoatface.” Ugh. We know the internet is a sorry, sad place, but even it should be able to do better than that. Don’t ask the internet’s opinion on anything, it’s going to be wrong.
Dealing With Country Matters
You can probably figure out which word this vessel is trying to allude to, and if you can’t...uh...go ask your parents. It’s also a little play on the phrase “seaward,” which just means toward the sea or the side of something that faces the sea or the water in general. Those boat owners think they’re so clever, don’t they? Mixing off-color jokes and nautical terms together in a way that is just barely reasonable for public consumption.
Who do they think they are? Coming up with clever names that will mean different things to different people. Like that’s difficult. Like you could say...uh...you could say something like...well, we have a lot on our plates right now. We could come up with one of our own right now, but we might as well just move on.
Help! The Boat’s Taking Me Hostage!
We don’t know if little canoes like this one actually need to have names, but there’s nothing stopping them, right? This name is a play on the classic film by Mel Brooks, “Blazing Saddles,” and it lets us know that the person who came up with this name has a pretty good sense of humor. Those paddles will be whipping into the water anytime somebody jumps onto this bad boy for a quick getaway from the salt-of-the-Earth townsfolk.
You know, the simple people. You know. Morons. Black sheriffs from the Wild West need to be ready for anything, even getting across the water in a boat that has a goofy name. Actually, the movie is so referential that if there was a boat in the film, it might actually have this name.