This poor guy just had his day/ year ruined thanks to some lady’s underwear that found its way into his laundry pile. It’s a bit of a far stretch to assume someone is potentially a ‘hot woman’ due to her choices in underwear, but hey, everybody has a different way of interpreting the world around them. And shame, if you’re only getting lucky once a year, then perhaps this is a good explanation for that.
At least this guy left this note anonymously because he kind of just spilled all the beans on his personal life and his disintegrating marriage. We just hope his wife doesn’t get to read this as she clearly already saw the underwear and may recognize it, and that may even make things worse for him (if they could get any worse.) It would end pretty badly when she reads that her husband associated her with a whale.
When you find your neighbor consistently neglecting to pick up their pet's feces, the most neighborly thing you can do is to confront them about it, explain the situation and why it’s important to you and your surroundings that they pick up after their pets. If, however, they fail to comply with your demands one too many times, you might have to take things into your own hands (hopefully while wearing sterile gloves). This bothered neighbor knows their strengths and talents as they have probably played on a few ball teams.
Their idea of taking matters into their own hands as well, questionable at best. After seeing that their neighbor was continuously shirking their doody lifting duty, this veteran ballplayer decided to threaten to throw the poop directly into their neighbor's mouth if they ever did it again, as a way to make sure that they don’t repeat this behavior. Gross.
German Bedroom Etiquette
We're not too sure what is acceptable in Germany, but around here, there are certain things that are best kept private. Clearly, this 'German neighbor' hasn't adapted to the general bedroom etiquette in the States yet, but it's best they learn if they want to avoid getting embarrassing notes like this one.
European countries are known to be a bit more open when it comes to things like tanning nude on beaches, and according to this note, flaunting your sexy time also goes, but maybe he needs to wake up and realize that things operate differently, in America. Here, folks are a bit more conservative and discrete when it comes to these matters. At least this German frat boy can count on his neighbors to shed some light on what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to bedroom etiquette.
Don't Be Like Alan
Foul parking stunts are one of those things that can never be traced to the original instigator. What if the person who parked next to this guy before parked poorly, and therefore, there was no way for this guy to park correctly?
Either way, whether that's the case or not, we will never know, but we do know that leaving notes like this to a neighbor is definitely setting the tone for a sour relationship to come. So, in case you ever feel like sending a message like this one, perhaps take a deep breath and maybe consider if the person next to this guy parked like a jerk and if it's really going to be worth sending a note as mean as this one.
Join the Labor Party
Having a baby is very very painful. The labor process reduces even polite and quiet women into roaring beasts with little to no regard for their environment.
This neighbor wanted to make sure that when his pregnant wife begins going into labor - and consequently making sounds as if she’s being attacked by a bear (or turned herself into a bear), everyone stays calm and that nobody calls the police through all the commotion.