At the risk of sounding like we’re turning into our parents, we secretly pine for that magical time of year when pumpkin spice is everywhere when the air starts to get chilly, and when we get to make fun of people who like leaf-peeping while simultaneously planning hikes with their printed maps.
It’s safe to say that people, for the most part, like the fall. But there are some people who really like it because it means they get to stay in, sip on some hot chocolate, and read a decent amount of books, and what better excuse do you need to read more books?
If you can't get people to read books by telling them how great they are, why not try fear? After all, fear is a basic human instinct that is useful to protect us from danger. In certain contexts, it can be fun. In this article, it can even be educational.
The idea is simple; if you stop reading, you'll experience a weird, almost terrible phenomenon — you'll turn into a cartoon monster, and who wants that? So you better pick up a book and start looking at some pages with printed letters on them! If you don't, humanity might be doomed.
When Only Kafka Will Do
If you spend enough time reading, only Kafka will do — as the baby in the drawing can attest to. Many of Kafka's stories are incredibly vivid and imaginative, focusing on the absurdity of life, while his writing style maintains a strangely nonchalant and indifferent tone throughout many of his pieces.
His style of writing is so distinct that scholars have even coined the term "Kafkaesque." If you've been exposed to some of Kafka's work, you may experience symptoms like confusion, frustration, discomfort, or any combination thereof. They say the best remedy for those suffering from these symptoms is to read a good book.
Jerry Seinfeld said this, so it must be true! If aliens were ever to land on Earth in the dead of night, they might stumble upon an independent bookstore, and without knowing it, they find proof that we are an 'intelligent' lifeform. If they stumble upon a football pitch... well, there's not much we can do.
Now we also need to let the aliens know that they should stay away from Twitter, cause that's a whole different story... So when was the last time you set foot in a bookstore? If it's been a while then this might just be the sign you need to visit one ASAP!
More Accurate Signs
The first step on your path to enlightenment is to acknowledge your problem areas. Sure, you want to learn how to cook, and you have every intention of making three new recipes this week, but we all know these ambitious recipe books are probably only going to be collected on your shelf.
They've even set out some takeout menus on the shelf underneath. Now isn't that nice? If you are still considering purchasing one of these books after you've read this sign, you might just be stubborn enough to learn, or maybe you just like collecting cookbooks. Either way, good for you!