The only car owners that should have armor plates on their cars are derby drivers and secret agents that have to protect very important people from being shot at. We’re not even talking about the fact that most of these armor platings are just fake stickers – of course, but the point being is – unless you’re expecting a bullet to be fired your way in the near future, making your car look like something taken out of the film Mad Max: Fury Road, is an absolute waste of your time and of everyone’s attention.
These steel platings make your car look weird, clunky, and a lot less appealing. When the apocalypse finally arrives and humanity will have to fight through vehicular warfare to survive, we’ll be right there with you with these armor platings. Up until then, it would probably be best to drive your car like a normal person and not simulate a World War III fighting scenario.
Personal and Political Bumper Stickers
While central states of America have their fair share of car fads, such as the aforementioned bro trucks, these are not nearly as common and annoying as the Eastern states' fad of putting various political and personal stickers on the back of their cars. There is not a single person in the world who ever saw a political sticker and thought "Hey! I'm going to vote for that guy!". Not a single political opinion was ever changed, and not a single person ever thought you were cooler for having a sticker that tells a funny knock-knock joke or tells the world what you like to eat.
This fad is almost exclusively found in Canada and North America, and we would be more than happy to see it go away altogether. People who drive behind you don't care about your environmental opinions, your political leanings, where you went to school, or what you think about yourself - they just want to get to wherever they're going and by putting on a sticker - you've labeled yourself as a someone we don't want to see on the road. Ever.
Faking That Patina
As cars grow older and mature, they start getting patina on their bodies. This type of vehicular degradation tells a beautiful and compelling story of the car's long life and experience. It's almost like the appreciation that you get for being battle-scarred and full of grey hair, and since cars are somewhat built to remind us of people's faces, it only stands to note that we subsequently give vehicles with patina a certain trait of wisdom.
However, when you take a relatively new car and put a patina coat on it, it's almost like painting your hair and beard grey just to appear older and smarter. Everyone can clearly see through this fake stunt, and you end up looking young and stupid. Sorry, but it's quite clearly visible that your 3-year-old Audi A3 does not have patina, especially not on its plastic bits. Our next fad will annoy anyone who has a working sense of hearing and a common sense of decency. You probably already know exactly what we’re talking about...
You knew we were going to cover these abominations at some point, so let's get it out of the way. Supercars and muscle cars that have a high amount of horsepower sound just incredible. You can take them and replace the exhaust with a straight pipe and you'll get an even more aggressive sound. On the other hand, taking your 2008 BMW 1-Series or 2009 Subaru Impreza and putting a big, fat exhaust tip on it to make it sound like someone put a laxative in your engine, is one of the worst crimes you can ever do to a car.
First of all, putting a large exhaust on a basic car is like putting a megaphone on a baby cat to make it sound like a lion. News flash - it won't. Secondly, even if your car does sound a bit better (despite being loud and annoying), it's still immediately visible to anyone with sight to notice that it's not accelerating in proportion to the sound that's produced by the exhaust. Instead of buying one of these, why not just save the money and invest in improving your vehicle's horsepower? There is not a single person in the world who woke up thinking "I just love the beautiful sound of a straight piped Fiesta in the morning." Do yourself and the environment a favor, don’t buy fart-tip exhausts.
Homemade Pickup Sedans
There's a reason why car manufacturers spend literally hundreds of millions of dollars just for developing new cars that they're working on. It takes work, a lot of work, and is usually done by a huge team of very talented engineers with a vast record of successful projects and the backing of an international multi-billion dollar company. When you sit in your garage and try to make a pickup truck out of your Corvette, the results will probably disappoint, more often than not.
The reason that it’s not a good idea to mess with your car to that extent is that you're probably not a car engineer, and even if you are, you don't have the resources, experience, and backing that a career car engineer has. So try to avoid turning your sedan into a pickup truck, it doesn't really work and it looks absolutely atrocious. If you really need a pickup truck, they can be bought for quite cheap in the United States due to their high demand.