Breakups are one of these things that happen to everybody, yet they still make each one of us feel completely isolated. Nevertheless, if you are given heartbreak lemons, why not make some funny lemonade? Get ready to read the funniest things people have tweeted after they lost their significant (or not-so-significant) other.
#Living My Best Life (But Not Really)
Losing someone you loved and saw a future with requires some heavy grieving. But unlike grieving an actual death, the final stage is to try and look like you are having the time of your life on social media.
We've all seen it and it's easy to spot: if someone you know starts posting pictures of themselves having too much fun, along with some cryptic sad emo quotes, you know the person had been dumped!
Love Is Hating Together
Sometimes a failed relationship can actually help us learn what we want and don't want in a partner. This breakup tweet from @shiraselko captures exactly that. Most of us are just looking for a partner in crime!
What is the crime you ask? Sitting in the corner and judging and hating everyone else. If you find someone you can do that with, you know you've found the one. Forget about Disney princes, all we want is a judgmental guy!
Girls Just Wanna Go to Craft Stores
Why did they name the famous craft store chain Michaels? Was it to create misunderstandings that will end relationships? Probably not, but it's an added benefit, as single people probably have more time to craft!
We don't know if this was what caused the breakup, but we do know the two are no longer together, and if this guy got jealous every time his girl went out shopping, maybe that's for the best! Which store would you cheat on your partner with?
So Glad It's Over!
Some breakups are truly heartbreaking while others are a happy milestone in life! If you've ever dated someone who made you feel miserable then you know what tweeter user Shopia Benoit means.
If the guy is still following her on social media we bet he didn't enjoy seeing this one. Except it wasn't meant for his enjoyment, it was more likely written to make him think about what kind of boyfriend he was!
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Moms are great, but they can also sometimes be the worst. Like when you try and ask them a question but they find a way to deflect and turn the question back to you. Moms should not be talking to our boyfriends, no matter if they are current ones or exes!
As far as us talking to our mom's exes? Well, if the ex you still talk to you is your father, it's the exception to the rule and you may be excused.
Mom, Please Stop!
Moms are known for being embarrassing on Facebook. They write private things on your wall, post terrible baby pictures of you, and now they also seem to be commenting on your ex's posts!
We are not sure if the mom knew she was commenting publicly, but we're gonna try and let her enjoy the benefit of the doubt. Nevertheless, this is a pretty epic mom this person has. Cherish her!
A Breakup Poem
Poetry is a medium that is usually used to express two opposing feelings (or maybe they are one and the same) — love and sorrow. Seriously, can anyone write anything that isn't about being in love or being heartbroken?
Breaking up with someone using a poem is particularly cruel because they are not expecting it whatsoever. We really doubt the dumpee could find the humor in this one, but we bet Twitter users did.
The Joke's on Him
Relationship red flag #1: The other person doesn't find you funny. A similar sense of humor can really help two people get over some of the worst times of their lives and still stick together.
When it comes to happily ever after, no one imagines telling jokes that don't land for the rest of eternity. We suggest that @roxiqt and her ex's girlfriend get together, they already have the same sense of humor.
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Nobody really wants to experience the pain that comes with a breakup. But there is one undeniable benefit that comes with losing someone you thought you loved — imagining yourself singing a Taylor Swift song at a talent show!
Don't act like you have never done that. We all did, and we bet Taylor does it too when someone breaks up with her!
Dating a Drummer
Someone's profession says a lot about what it would be like to date them. Dating a doctor? You won't see them much, but you'll always feel safe. An actor? You'd go to lavish parties but never know if your other half is telling the truth.
Dating a musician can come with trust issues, but there should be one thing you could trust — you'd have a song written all about you! Well, we bet after the two broke up, this girl got a song written about her, or at least a drum solo or something.
Mother Knows Best
The thing about love is that many times, what we want is not necessarily what we need. This is why we have to ask our friends and relatives to protect us from ourselves and our bad choices.
For @keepingwpwKyla it was her mom who volunteered to make sure she doesn't take her ex back. This guy can't argue with mom! There's just one problem — we usually want to do things our parents don't allow us to do!
The Failed Grand Gesture
The ones that we love should know us best, right? It can be tragically funny to learn that they don't. But nothing is more ironic (maybe just rain on your wedding day) than trying to prove you know someone, only to demonstrate that you really, really don't.
Next time, please do your research before you try to go for a grand gesture. At least he remembered she likes Laffy Taffy, right?
The Real-Life Bachelor
@saramorseyy came to Twitter to share the bitter truth about dating in the 21st century — it feels like being on a reality show without knowing you're on one. Does this mean the guy was dating 24 other women at the time?
Sounds like a full-time job to us. When did he have time to work? And if he didn't have a job, how did he get so many dates?
A Punny Breakup
There's a time and place for everything. Some of us will insist that it's always pun-o'clock somewhere, but is it possible that breaking up with someone using a pun is a bit insensitive?
The only way to get back at someone who breaks up with you like that is by returning the punny favor. Have you ever heard of the movies "Big Fat Liar," "Monster," and "American Psycho"? Well, they're all about you!
Missing Netflix and Chill
You don't know what you had until it's gone and many of us can only appreciate things in hindsight. One of the most underrated aspects of being in a relationship is having access to your boo's Netflix account, for free!
Let's admit it, for each person who pays for Netflix, there are 4 past lovers who are still riding the free wave of past love. Before this guy broke up with these girls, he should have thought of the consequences!
The Dog Did It
Back in the good old days, before the dot com boom, stalking used to be a shameful act, reserved only for the low-life wretches. Today, it's a common practice we all openly discuss, guess we've all become the creepos we used to laugh at.
We blame Radiohead. Still, you gotta be smart about how you lurk and stock. Using a dog's Insta account is a dead giveaway! We all know your dog doesn't know how to work a phone or a computer.
What a Trainwreck
Apparently, someone decided to try and walk on the train tracks, again. NYCT's Twitter account had to reply and remind everyone that it's just a bad idea all around.
But, if you thought that walking on train tracks is a bad idea, imagine texting your ex, again. We are still undecided as to which is worse, but we should all listen to NYCT's tweet when it comes to both.
Netflix's BoJack Horseman tells the story of a washed-up horse who used to be a star. Now, he's more of a drunk who keeps on making bad, bad choices. Many men like to compare themselves to BoJack, but this girl was having none of it when her ex tried to get some sympathy by likening himself to the tragic horse.
Throughout the show's six seasons, BoJack has shown growth. Still, some people manage to stay continuously terrible for an entire lifetime.
A Comedy of Errors
We have all encountered this problem at some point or the other: an ex that just won't let go. First, they try your phone, then, your email, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. While blocking the person would have been easier, there is something oddly satisfying about sending fake error messages and seeing the other person freak out.
We really appreciate the attention to detail, as this guy bothered to change the error number for each different platform.
A Relationship Cut Short
Height can be a metaphor for a character, someone who stands tall is seen as proud and confident, so when a short guy cuts a relationship short, the only thing a good friend can do is to remind the dumpee that this guy really fell short of what she deserves.
Of course, by the time this friend will be finished diminishing him and his height, he might already be too short to function and that might serve the friend who's trying to forget about him.
Who's to Blame?
Sometimes it's very clear why a couple broke up and there's one party obviously at fault, other times it's a little bit harder to decide why something didn't work out. If one of the sides cheated, it's easy to see who's to blame for the breakup.
Still, taking reasonability for your actions sucks, so why not just, like, blame it all on somebody else? We bet this trick "works" for him every time he cheats...
A Failed Essay
We think it's a safe bet to say that @nicklutz12 is a teacher. As a teacher, it can be hard to read an essay that's just poorly written and doesn't make any sense.
Who wrote it and whether it's actually an essay, that's a whole other question. Apology letters could actually be a sweet way of turning a new page, but many times they just end up being a statement of defense.
Forgive and Never Forget
Being off and on and off and on again can really take a toll on the trust built in a relationship. Some couples find themselves in an endless loop of breaking up and getting back together, a fact that might lead to some awkward situations, and the whole Ross and Rachel "We were on a break!" is just one of them.
Another well-known awkward situation is when get dumped over text. Combine the two together and you get double awkwardness! The only way to get back at the crass ex who did this to you is to forgive, but never let them forget.
If you have a social media account, this has happened to you. You were just trying to secretly and smoothly stalk an ex, when all of a sudden, a sudden hand or finger movement just ruins everything.
Your cover is blown, and you have now liked a post or picture you really really didn't mean to. If this Roger guy is the ex's new boyfriend, liking their pictures together is kinda awkward but maybe it will give the (false) impression that @vineyille moved on.
Not Your Toy
We all grew up watching Disney/Pixar movies and those gave us a false idea of what love might actually be like. We all thought we'd meet a prince or a princess, marry them, and live happily ever after. As we got older, we learned that there aren't really any princes out there, except for Prince William maybe.
We also learned that life doesn't really follow a clear narrative, and if it did, it would probably be more like Toy Story, where you're lost and desperately trying to regain childhood. Not Cinderella where a beautiful prince marries you and saves you from your mother.
Best Grandma Ever
Look at that amazing grandma! Those of you who were born after the year 2000, might not get the concept of a physical picture album, but before Instagram became a thing, that's how we all kept our pictures.
If you wanted to see them you had to physically visit someone! Before photoshop if you wanted to erase someone or something from your life, you had to take out your scissors. Grandma is fittingly old-fashioned but she still loves her granddaughter.
Let Her Eat Cake
It's already been established as a cliche that after a breakup, girls like to eat ice cream and watch romcoms. If there's no ice cream we will definitely eat cake. Now, if you are already breaking up with someone, why not help them and already provide a sugary treat ready for them to consume?
If you get a really good cake, there's a great chance the girl won't even shed a tear over you and go straight to eating the treat.
Sleep It Off
Different people have different habits. As if relationships weren't hard enough, it can be hard to get used to the smallest of things, like the way your partner eats, drinks, and sleeps.
Usually, after you've already broken up with someone, their sleeping habits shouldn't be a problem, unless, of course, they sleep with everyone, and make it known. Taking it to Twitter seems like an act of sweet well-deserved revenge.
See You Never
Exes have a way of always trying to get back into our lives. It can be tempting to agree, especially since we tend to see the past with rose-colored glasses. But @tinatbh tells it like it is — if you love someone but you chose to let them go, don't expect to see them anywhere that isn't on your phone screen.
Want to see miss Tina IRL? You should have thought of that before you dumped her!
History Repeats Itself
It was Winston Churchill that said that "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Winston was married to Clementine for over six decades, so if you want to have a successful relationship maybe you should listen to this one.
One person who for sure skipped history class is @danadonnelly's ex-boyfriend, who hasn't learned that just like words, relationships need to be defined. We bet she's glad she made the right choice by keeping this guy in her past.
All Pain, No Gain
Mom could have thrown her daughter a bone here, couldn't she? If she could get herself a new house and car after her own divorce, surely she could have supported @kenzzzzdanielle, her daughter, when she was going through a very very serious breakup.
We can only assume that this young Twitter user wasn't dating this guy for more than a year, while her mother had to mourn a relationship that lasted decades?
He's Living Without You
When you start a new relationship, you experience all these butterflies in your stomach that make you think, say, and do weird things. Telling someone you couldn't live without them isn't the weirdest one, but still, you gotta make sure the other person isn't taking what you say too literally.
Otherwise, six months down the line, you'll find yourself having to explain why you haven't given her the moon and the stars, and oh, also, why you're still alive.
Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't
Sometimes, especially as a good friend of someone who's going through a breakup, you know you just can't win. If you try to cheer the person up by saying bad things about the ex, it might come back to bite you.
This is why the safest way to engage with your friend's pain is to simply nod empathically. Really, trust us, it works every single time and it doesn't get you into trouble.
You'll Always Be a Big Part of My Life
You might think it's unfair, but the truth is that "firsts" leave a lasting impression on us. We will remember the first time we experienced something, but the same thing can't be said about our 100th time.
So, even if your first relationship ends, you can always take comfort in the fact that it will always have that special place in your ex's heart, and his banking security questions.
A Crush on Trush
Self-awareness is hard to come by, because, let's face it, it can be hard to look at our problems head-on when it's so much easier and so much more enjoyable to just ignore them!
Still, if you look at your crush history, you have to admit that amongst all the beautiful amazing people who totally deserved your affection, there were at least a couple of very, very bad apples that belong in the trash.
That's Gotta Hurt
If her ex still follows her and he read this tweet, we bet her words struck a nerve. Still, the sad (or maybe happy) truth is that many times, when we like someone, we enjoy everything they do or say, while when we don't, well, that person can't do anything right.
We all think that people who are in love are crazy fools, till it happens to us, and then we find ourselves texting that someone 24/7.
When the Timing Is Right, But the Person Is Wrong
When a relationship ends, or when a single friend complains about not being in a relationship, we have all been known to recite the good old saying that everything will work out when the timing is right. While it can provide reassurance and solace, it can also be a bunch of bull.
Often, the problem is not timing at all, but rather, someone acting like an ***hole. See what we did there? It rhymes!
God, Please Help Me
It's a lot easier to know what's right and what's wrong than it is to follow what you know. If there's one thing people, across all different faiths and views can agree on is that texting your ex is almost always a stupid idea that can only result in a combination of pain and humiliation.
Yet, somehow, we've all found ourselves, many times after a few drinks, doing this stupid deed, only to regret it the morning after.
Plenty of Fish
If you look closely you will find that most of our idioms and phrases were actually made up in order to help desperate people who feel like they will never find love. One is, of course, the saying that there are "plenty of fish in the sea."
But, many times it's not really about how many fish there are, it's about how many fish we want. Usually, it's just one, and it's always the one we can't have.
Playing Cat and Mouse
Life is unfair. If you need any further proof of that, here it is: mice never leave but men always do. Now, it might actually be a good tactic to start calling the mouse "boyfriend." If it makes him leave, great.
If it doesn't, hey, you've finally found a boyfriend who doesn't end up leaving you. The safest bet here, though, is to call both an exterminator and a psychologist.
Fire Selfies and Thirst Traps
Back in the prehistoric days, before social media, all you could do is hope that if and when you run into your ex, you'll be looking your best. Sadly, it seems that we only tend to run into our exes when we go to the grocery store in our pajamas.
Luckily, they invented social media exactly for these types of situations, which is why after a break up you will see a steady rise in cute, suggestive selfies on Insta.
Friends Without Benefits
Have you ever heard of anyone who is actually friends with their ex? Neither did we. Yet, somehow, people keep using the "we can still be friends" line when breaking up with someone.
But, let's face it, you will not be friends after the breakup. No one actually wants that. When a relationship ends, just like when life itself ends, it is irreversible, and it should stay that way.
Till Netflix Do Us Part
What is a modern relationship if not two people joined together in the bond of shared Netflix and HBO passwords? We personally think that true love is measured not by how many passwords you share when you are together, but by if and when you change them after the big split.
Prince Charming will let you use his Netflix account even long after the two of you stopped being an item.
Too Much Liquid Courage
The thing about the type of courage you gain from drinking too much is that much like its name, "liquid courage" is not really a solid thing you can count on. If anything, you can count on it to make you do something stupid.
We strongly advise against drinking enough beer that makes texting your ex at 2 am seem like a good idea. It isn't, and beer isn't gonna be there to fix the mess you've made.
A Quick Reminder
Everything would have been much, much easier if we could just quickly remind someone we lost that they actually do love and want to be with us forever.
Sadly, this is the type of logic that leads to hasty embarrassing texts you regret the minute you hit send. Unless the person has amnesia, most likely he didn't forget that he's in love with you — he just isn't.
Free to Never Drink Beer Again
If and when we like someone, we tend to take on their hobbies and preferences. After a while, it can be hard to remember which ones were our own personal tastes and which ones we picked up.
Many of these tweets emphasize the hard things about ending a romantic partnership, but here's a good one: you never have to convince yourself or pretend that you like beer ever again.
The Unkindness of Strangers
Fortunately, it's safe to say that since we now live in times when we no longer have to actually dial someone's number, this will never happen to anyone ever again. Or, so, we'd like to believe.
If you look at the bright side, at least the ex will never know how much this person still cares, and hopefully, they apologized to the kind stranger. Maybe they even took that stranger out for ice cream. All very unlikely, but we're allowed to dream.
My Ex Is Just Like 2020
Many memes have been made about how unexpectedly and unnecessarily cruel 2020 has been. Many memes have been about how expectedly, and unnecessarily cruel past lovers have been. So why not just combine the two? It's a perfect match.
We wish this girl all the best and we hope that next time she meets someone that person will be nothing like 2020 and everything like... what's been a good year? Anyone? We can't think of one either...
When Life Gives You Lemons...
You make lemonade. When your ex leaves you a voicemail (who still does that?) you make an album and make some money off of your heartbreak.
Take your personal pain and turn it into commercial art. If Beyoncé did it with an album literally titled "Lemonade" well, it definitely doesn't mean anyone could, but it surely means it's worth a try.
Bad Relationship, Bad Jokes
It is possible this guy was dumped for telling what can only be described as bad dad jokes? Maybe. But still, you gotta give it to him, maybe it's just us and our love for stupid, stupid humor, but we actually found this one funny.
Also, if she truly showed 0% interest in him, then, well, he's better off without her.
Supernatural, Super Creepy
They say that if you love someone you should be able to let them go. But, if you really don't wanna do that, you can always talk to someone with special powers and try and bring your loved one back to you, in 24 hours, no more and no less!
Does the lost love actually want to return? Who cares! They can figure it out once the doctor has been paid.
Some Much Needed Perspective
Breaking up with someone you love might feel like the worst thing in the entire world, this is especially true if you are a teenager or if this is your first breakup.
If it's both, you're in for a pretty painful period. But, don't despair, some things are actually a lot worse. Twitter user @ginalinette_ is here to remind us of at least one of them.
Friendship Breakups Are Real
Everybody likes to talk and go on and on about romantic relationships ending, but what about when a friendship of years, even decades, just fades away? Why is no one talking about how painful that is? Why are there no friendship break-up songs?
People who have experienced this type of thing demand to be visible, and they demand their right to be just as sad, if not even more than those who split with a partner.
It Was a Mutual Decision
We are not sure what to think of this one. Theoretically, we always prefer the healthier option. Realistically, we just had pizza for lunch.
But maybe, what this person is trying to say is that it can be hard to move on from someone if you can't eat ice cream and call them a jerk. Instead, you have to eat ice cream and think about you mutually decide that it's best for both of you if you stop seeing each other. Now, how is this fun?
That's Just Cruel Man
Breakups are not the time to crack up old jokes and magic tricks. If there is one time when humor is not appreciated and will not lighten the mood, it is when you tell someone you don't wanna see them anymore.
So please, while this may be funny as a tweet, don't try this at home, or you will have to suffer the consequences.
Too Little Too Late
Love and reason are two entirely different things. Reason says that when you're with someone you shouldn't be doing something that will hurt them so badly such as cheating on them. If you do cheat and you end up being single, this is actually a good time to get frisky.
At this point, not doing the dirty deed isn't going to get you any points with your ex, so might as well get used to your new status and make use of what you've got.
We are used to seeing and hearing about couples fighting, breaking up, getting back together, saying they will never ever get back together, and then the cycle starts all over again. But, in reality, a healthy relationship is usually boring and calm, without too much drama.
We wish that just like this van, people would wear their red flags on their sleeves. It would save us a lot of time we have previously spent on, well, 24/7 drama.
Pales in Comparison
If you don't know, Investigation Discovery is a true-crime show. As such, you can imagine what type of terrible stories and cases are covered there.
If you want to feel worse about the world at large, but somewhat better about yourself and how you handle breakups, this is a recommended watch for you. Still, maybe you don't want to set your how-I-handle-breakups bar so low?
If you are old enough to have a girlfriend you should be old enough to break up with her without any outside help, especially not the help of your own mom. What kind of mom would take part in such a thing? We hope this one didn't actually happen.
Nobody enjoys telling someone you don't want to be with them anymore, but still, it comes with the territory so you gotta suck it up.
Twitter Is Not Therapy
They say that having to get over a person is not that different than having to give up an illegal substance. Yes, love is a form of addiction, you heard it here first!
This person admits to still feeling like his partner is next to him, even though he knows it's just in his imagination. At this point, we suggest stopping tweeting and starting therapy, seriously it will make you feel much better! Try it.
Keeping It Real
There are only two types of people: Those who try and pretend everything is fine even when they are dying inside and those who will share every single detail of their mystery with anyone who is willing to listen.
Twitter user @gettherpictur3 belongs to the latter group. She believes that sharing is caring which is why she's sharing her inspiring post-break-up meal plan. If you're newly single, take note and stock on champagne.
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
As a general rule, people are much more likely to be unhinged after they were left by the person they love. Different people handle it differently — some might commit crimes and end up on the news, and some might channel all their angst into a perfectly phrased tweet about breakups.
To be entirely honest, none of these people will be written down in history as the most productive members of society.
How All Breakups Should Be
No one wants to be broken up with, but, if we must go through a breakup, we want it just like this one, please. This breakup is almost too good to be true, which might make getting over it even harder. How can one get over someone who broke up with you using pizza?
It's just too considerate, you can't talk trash about someone who just gave you pizza.
Can't Live With or Without Them
One of life's biggest ironies is that we always want what we cannot have. When we're with the one we love, we hate everything they do, when they are not around, we, for some reason, miss their presence. So, to be or not be, in a relationship, that is the question.
This Twitter user has no answers, but at least they shared this funny insight.
Too Many Issues
According to Twitter user @baldoldmonk, romantic relationships are just like magazine subscriptions — you keep getting new issues, even long after you've stopped caring. The only possible solution is to, of course, cancel your subscription, or, like, break up.
But, listen to us, don't break up with someone using lame twitter puns, because that is exactly what someone with a lot of issues would do.
This Is for Your Own Good
Astrology has made a comeback and is becoming cool again, which means it can totally be used as an excuse to break up with someone. Think about all the possibilities! You could tell them it isn't working out because they are a Cancer and you are a Leo.
Nothing personal, that's just how it goes. Well if the astrologer promises you'll find someone much better, maybe this breakup isn't that bad after all.
Planning ahead is important, and we are not only talking about your career or travel plans but also important conversions. Before you break up with someone, you should have at least one breakup rehearsal where you go through everything you will say and do during the fateful event.
If you don't prepare yourself, you can find yourself in the same situation as this Twitter user, who awkwardly tried to high-five the person he just dumped. Awkward.
Have you heard of don't drink and drive? There's a new rule now, don't drink and discuss breakups at the same time. You might learn that you have to re-live the breakup yet again. Of course, there's a chance the person remembered everything but pretended not to because they didn't want to face reality.
Also, making someone break up with you twice might be the best form of revenge. Or maybe the worst, depending on who you ask.
Usually naming your Roomba is a pretty low-stakes event, you think of a name, you use it around the house, you giggle to yourself, and that's it. In this case, a Roomba named Jerome managed to cause a stir. A women's ex heard their daughter talking about someone named Jerome cleaning the house.
Usually, when you hear of a Jerome you assume it's a man, not a Roomba. Next time, just don't name your Roomba after a man.
Have you ever noticed the difference between the way people talk about someone before/while they are dating, and after the relationship is done? It usually changes from "She's an Angel" to "She's a Witch." And while we do believe that people can change, we doubt such a drastic change can happen so quickly.
Next time you see someone telling you their ex was a witch, remember they will probably say the same thing about you after you two split.
Simple, Yet True
Most of us try and use puns, big words, or long sentences to express our deepest feelings. But sometimes, none of these things are necessary. Sometimes a true poet says what we all want to say but can't: Breakups suck. There is no need to sugarcoat it.
Twitter user @DJMikeSklarz is the hero we didn't know we needed and deserved.
Heartbreak Isn't a Pun
We don't know if this is something that the person who broke up with her told her. Maybe it was the opposite or just something she thought about. Either way, humor helps us get through rough patches, which is why we don't blame anyone for telling terrible jokes during a heartbreak.
We suspect that Twitter user @kayla_the_beer was in her emo phase when she twisted this, as she added a link to a very emo Instagram picture of herself. We hope she's doing better now.
Welcome to Dumpsville
Are you seeing what we're seeing? Is this possible that this person actually used Twitter in order to break up with someone? Or is this a joke that's going over our heads? If we were Julie_r12 we would be very angry at this point.
But hey, let's try and look on the bright side, maybe Dumpsville is actually a nice place to inhabit, maybe the grass is even greener there.
Heaven or Hell?
Why would you deny yourself heaven? Honestly, that's a fair question to ask, and there can only be one answer, maybe, just maybe, Mis @brokeymcpoverty isn't as heavenly as she thinks she is? Honestly, we would have killed to see what her exes replied to her, we bet their response could clear up a lot of misunderstandings.
We guess that when Lana Del-Ray sang "Heaven is a place on earth with you" she wasn't referring to@brokeymcpoverty.
A Masterpiece of a Person
In the day and age of social media, nothing is private anymore and it's very likely that you'll find out that one of your exes wrote a tell-all piece about your relationship in his blog or an online magazine.
But, this person knows their worth, and if one of their exes ever wrote something about them, it would have to be about how regretful they are for losing this masterpiece of a person.
Back to Ground Zero
After a tough breakup @jillboard wanted to put herself out there. Of course, today, putting yourself out there looks more like opening a profile on a dating app.
But, just like in the olden days, when you could see your ex in a bar, today you can see their profile on a dating up. In both cases, you will find yourself spiraling right back to breakup-ground-zero, where you cry and eat ice cream.
All of My Exes Are Losers
When you think about it, all of the people who have lost you, are, technically, big, big losers. Like this isn't even an attempt to insult or offend them, it's just the facts. @1shyvirgo knows what she's worth and she's letting her exes and all of her followers know that.
So next time someone dumps you just remember that being your ex is not a flex. Rhymes always make us feel better.
A Bunch of Tools
Twitter user @grumpykat42 (love that username!) had a huge tool sale and she used it to poke fun at all of her exes. Could you imagine actually selling all of your ex-boyfriends? How fun would that be!
You'll be able to get rid of them and make some money at the same time. Of course, you'd have to find people who'd be willing to buy such tools.
"My Cousin Vinney" is a 1992 film that follows two New Yorkers who are wrongfully blamed for a crime. We guess this movie was a big part of @KLoop8273's marriage. That is the only thing that can explain why she and her ex decide it should also be a part of their divorce.
It sounds like they ended on speaking terms, or, at least quoting terms.