Does anybody sleep well anymore? Anybody at all? Does everybody just wake up after six or seven or eight or more hours of sleep feeling like they still need a thousand years to finally catch up on their sleep debt, or is it just us? Insomnia is no fun, people.
When you get married, you can compare notes on who had a worse night of trying to fend off nightmares before another day of work. Having to sleep in a bed with someone else can be tough for those not used to it, which means worse sleep for everybody. Sweet.
What Do You Mean You Don't Eat Forks?
Nobody, and you can quote us on this, had a “normal” childhood. Everybody had that one weird sibling, or that weird thing that a parent would do, or some bad stuff happened during that one year and nobody is really over it yet. Everybody is weird in their own way.
Like, apparently, some people don't make their mashed potatoes by filling a Super Soaker with hot water and blasting it into a pot. We don't get it either. However, once you gain a husband or wife, you have someone there who is prepared to tell you when something doesn't make sense.
The Workforce Is Younger Every Year
A little bit of classic misdirection and confusion. This guy knows that humor isn't just making funny quips and trying to be humorous in the face of danger (we're looking at you, Marvel Cinematic Universe). This was a real, honest-to-goodness joke that actually made us laugh, even if the wife in question will need a few moments to figure it out.
Where's the most natural place for a baby to work? A baby food company? A diaper or pacifier company? Blizzard? There are lots of options, but we just can't imagine one being all that productive, what with all the naps.
Guess Where He Gets It From
Ah, in-laws. You're legally supposed to love them, but they just make it so darn hard sometimes. Coming into your home and criticizing and telling you how to raise your kids and bringing you food sometimes. Just leave us alone! Even if you don't have in-laws like Ray Barone, they can still get on your nerves.
For instance, this in-law thinks that her son doesn't have anything to do with the state of the house. He's your son; he's just doing the things that you taught him. Also, thanks for offering to help! Here's a broom; you can start downstairs.
It Had Better Be Me
Generally, referring to a woman you like as a... gardening instrument isn't going to get you very far. It's been tried before, and it doesn't work. So all they're good for is tilling the earth? They can do a lot more than that, you pig. However, it seems like this family doesn't have any problem giving each other some fun jabs for a laugh.
However, from other pictures that these two have put up (they seem to have a farm or ranch of some kind), it's very possible that they do actually already have a hoe available. Hard to plant crops without one.