Just so you know, a domestic is people who live in a home getting into a fight. Usually, they happen between man and wife, but this one was two brothers. If you’re a brother and you have a brother, you know that fights between brothers can become knock-down, drag-out affairs that simply don’t end.
Did the cops actually get involved when they saw this battle? Gardening tools, vegetation, frozen chicken – how exactly did frozen chickens get involved? Did they go to the freezer and get them out for the purpose of this fight? Were they already out? Who won?
Not the Kids' Show You Remember
Adulthood hits all of us pretty hard. Even the perpetually happy sponge that lives next to Patrick and Squidward might have some trouble adjusting. He's not ready anymore.
Singing has a calming effect on lots of people, including drunk people who would do better where they can't hurt themselves or anyone else, so why not come up with your own song to the tune of the Spongebob theme song? At the very least, the cop working with you will find it funny, and then he'll get to tell the story again and again. Back to the Krusty Krab with you, sponge.
Well, Everything Checks Out
One of the things that you have to remember about police officers is they can be pretty smart and insightful. So, if you try to pull this kind of trick, the kind of trick that wouldn't even fool a child, it probably isn't going to fly.
Here's a tip for people – if you're honest with the police officers, nine out of ten times they won't treat you too badly. On the other hand, if you try and delude them with something this stupid, all you're going to get is a ticket. The police officer is going to get a funny story, but you won't.
It's Like the Greased-Up Deaf Guy from “Family Guy”
Police officers have a tough job sometimes. They have to deal with violent people, angry people, drunk people, and all three of those could be together as one. This story has one of those three, but at least it wasn't the other two.
Somehow this guy had covered himself with Crisco, a brand of shortening, and that makes getting a grip on him impossible. How many cops did it take to get this man secured? We hope it was three, at least.
Another Case Closed
Well, if that isn't just diabolical. This poor lady in her sixties thought that she was being haunted for weeks, but it was just the goober who lived next door. What convinces a person that he should do such a thing as a recurring trick?
We also wonder if there's anything the police can do other than give the guy a very stern talking-to. Maybe unlawful entering? We aren't lawyers, we don't know. On the other hand, now that the gig is up, we hope that the person responsible for this donated the devil costume to charity and went on with his law-abiding life.