The life of a police officer in a dense, busy city is never easy. You have to deal with lots of drunk college students, for instance, but at least this story doesn’t have anything illegal. Save for, we guess, driving dangerously.
There’s a good chance that you’ve never been to Minneapolis, but let us tell you – the roads there are disastrous. One wrong move and you’ll smash into a concrete barrier, another car, or some pedestrians. So taking your hands off the wheel to argue with your friends using sign language is a recipe for disaster, but at least it’s unique.
A Very Confused Bingo Caller Watched
Not every story has to do with public intoxication or public flashers. Thankfully. Some of them have to do with nursery rhymes that have come to life. We'd like to know exactly how a police officer managed to tie up a cow since they can't exactly be cuffed.
Maybe cuffs would help, but it's not like they can put them into the back seat of a police cruiser. Maybe a police truck? Since this happened out in the country, they probably have some special equipment to help wrangle livestock. Or, they used extra handcuffs. That's probably it.
I Can Hear Your Lies
Nothing beats a story that has a punchline. A cop pulling over a speeding lady is nothing special – though going seventy in a forty-five zone is going to raise plenty of eyebrows. But then they have the chance to run into each other again, and the cop gets the last laugh.
Plus, Ma'am, even if you were going fifteen over, that's still over the speed limit, and if you were in a forty-five zone, that's a full thirty-three percent higher than the posted limit. Remember this story whenever you hear about some mean cop from somebody who got a ticket. Of course, this is also a story without any evidence, so who knows.
I Get That a Lot
Maybe he was training for a role, maybe he was just giving back to his community. Whatever the reason, this Pitt lookalike probably enjoyed being tied to one of the most famous and conventionally-attractive actors in the biz, but after a while it likely got old.
We also really like the criminal's response. It wasn't to get wide-eyed at the idea of being arrested by Pitt, it was to angrily say the man would never profit from his box office tickets again. We wonder if the real Pitt has ever heard this story, and what he thinks of it.
Well, I Don't Remember How to Take Those Cuffs Off
If you're a parent, you know how easily problems can be solved by asking the right questions. Criminals tend to not be the most intelligent of sorts, so a clever query will trip them up enough to make the truth obvious.
In this case, it took just a single question to give the police officers a good enough reason to call the case closed and bring in their man. Thing is, it's really hard to come up with a response for finding out the car you're driving is stolen. Literally, nothing makes sense.