The First United Methodist Church is all about spreading the good word, but they are also about not melting into a puddle in that unbearable heatwave so they have to get creative. Hence this gem. This is our kind of sign: honest, concise, and to the point.
Bottom line, ladies and gentlemen, sin is bad, Jesus is good, and if you want more details, just come inside (where there is air conditioning, which is also good), because it’s way too hot to explain it all in a sign! We would be curious to hear the rest of the details, wouldn’t you?
The Dog Is Actually Adorable
You know how they say that guns don't kill people — people kill people? Yeah, the same goes for dogs. If you train your dog to bark at strangers, that's what it will do, but if you train it to roll on its back and ask the stranger for belly rubs, then that's what it will do.
Here we seem to have a case of a dog that was trained to be a friendly, cuddly creature, and an owner who prefers to defend their property with something a little more explosive. No problem, we'll stay off your lawn. Can we still pet your dog, though?
In a Dog's World
To be honest, we've never wondered about this before, but now that we've seen this sign, it does make us think. Can you believe there's a chance you never knew that your pet got as nervous as you did every time they saw one of those German Shepherd cops walk by?
Since dogs don't see colors in the same way as humans do, it's not like they can recognize them by their blue suits, so maybe it's just certain types of dogs that set off a warning. Even if they weren't police dogs, who in their right mind would go near a German Shepherd or a Rottweiler without a little caution?
A Different Kind of Bumper Sticker
This guy is not a parent, and he's proud of it! Probably tired of seeing the typical 'perfect family' bumper sticker on every other SUV, this guy decided he would customize one of his own. He took that very same format of stick people representing each of the family members and, well, laid out the family members.
You know, the partner and the Benjamins. Every last one of them. So, for anyone who asks, Yes, he's in a relationship, and no, they don't have kids. And yes, they're VERY happy and have loads of money! Take that for a bumper sticker!
The Coffee-Drinking Psychopath
Drinking coffee in a coffee shop? Absolute madness! The sad part is if you were to actually picture a guy sitting alone in Starbucks, looking at the people around, with nothing but his coffee mug on the table, you'd probably think he was a weirdo too.
We have to appreciate that man's ability to be in the moment. The one plot hole here is that whoever wrote the sign obviously was at the coffee shop and looking at people rather than something with a screen. Ironically, technology has made us the actual psychopaths. We're loving the cynicism of this sign, though.