That’s all we have for this story, so we get to put on our thinking caps and come up with some explanation or details for this. Some people blurt out their big secrets when they’re put under, some people talk nonsense to their doctors, and some people just mumble incoherently, but it takes a true glowing spirit to admit you just want to dance.
We have to believe the hospital staff wasn’t about to let someone get up and cut a rug right before or after a big operation. At least the patient was kind enough to give the nurses fair warning.
That Will Help the Yelp Score
A lot can go wrong in a hospital, but a lot can go right, too. Thing is, the bad stuff that happens is newsworthy, and the good stuff that happens is still usually about surgeries or illnesses, so the patients don't really want to dwell on them too much. It's a lose-lose for hospitals a lot of the time.
In that case, they were probably pretty thankful for this guy, who was all about trumpeting the success of the doctors in putting his leg back together. He might have slapped one of the doctors a little too hard, but he was probably fine.
Then the Germs Can't Get Me
This is one rule that everyone knows. If food has fallen on the floor (and it isn't, like, soup) then you can safely pick it up and eat it if fewer than five seconds have passed.
In reality, germs and other gross things on the floor don't work like that, but we can let it slide. Since people can sometimes still move even when put under, many procedures have them strapped. This patient was still aware enough to remind the doctors that as long as he or she is on the ground for fewer than five seconds, it was still safe to...do surgery, we guess.
Just Keep Swimming
Ah, the universal constant. Shark dreams. Our brains do some silly stuff when they're asleep – even more so when we've been put under by chemical cocktails and then subjected to surgeries. This person's mind retreated to the inky depths of the ocean to pretend to be an apex predator for a little while as the doctors did their job.
He might have been sad to wake up and find he only has one set of teeth, but the people in the ward around him were probably pleased. He didn't get to keep being a shark, but at least he was pleasant about it, too.
They're Getting All Soggy
Wisdom teeth removal gifts us with wonderful stories. Different parts of the brain wake up at different speeds, which is why we get so many stories of people saying goofy stuff. Their mouths and the speaking parts of their brains wake up before the “I will remember this and know what I'm talking about” parts.
In this story, what likely happened was muscle control hadn't restored itself just yet, so the patient couldn't move them. His or her tired mind translated this to “bones wet.” When things are wet, you dry them off with a napkin. It all makes so much sense.