We didn’t know that about ninjas. Is that true? Hold on, let us ask our ninja friends. Oh wait, we don’t have any because they aren’t around anymore. For some reason, however, this statement got the nurse to let him try to go home.
Though, we have the sneaking suspicion that she knew what would happen. Sometimes even ninjas need time to rest. She should have said that coming out of an anesthetic isn’t healing, it’s the wearing-off of its effects on the body. Would he have accepted that answer? Probably not, but it was worth a shot.
Just Keep Swimming
Ah, the universal constant. Shark dreams. Our brains do some silly stuff when they're asleep – even more so when we've been put under by chemical cocktails and then subjected to surgeries. This person's mind retreated to the inky depths of the ocean to pretend to be an apex predator for a little while as the doctors did their job.
He might have been sad to wake up and find he only has one set of teeth, but the people in the ward around him were probably pleased. He didn't get to keep being a shark, but at least he was pleasant about it, too.
They're Getting All Soggy
Wisdom teeth removal gifts us with wonderful stories. Different parts of the brain wake up at different speeds, which is why we get so many stories of people saying goofy stuff. Their mouths and the speaking parts of their brains wake up before the “I will remember this and know what I'm talking about” parts.
In this story, what likely happened was muscle control hadn't restored itself just yet, so the patient couldn't move them. His or her tired mind translated this to “bones wet.” When things are wet, you dry them off with a napkin. It all makes so much sense.
Good Taste From the Very Beginning
Can't say we've ever heard the artist Uncle Kracker, but if he elicits this kind of response, we'll pass, thanks. This woman didn't want the first song her child to hear to be this one, but what would be a better choice?
Something classic, such as “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel? Maybe beautiful and sweet like any of the wonderful versions of “La Vie En Rose”? Louis Armstrong's unforgettable “What a Wonderful World,” perhaps. There are lots of options, and many of them are better than Uncle Kracker. We listened to a few. It's not baby-birthing music.
Perfect Timing in the Worst of Situations
“Game of Thrones” has become a cultural touchstone more powerful than most other things, except for maybe the big classics like Star Wars or Marvel. Everybody knows a little bit about it, and there are even people who know it well enough, such as the case with this patient, to quote lines even while about to pass out.
We also want to give props to the patient for timing it oh so perfectly, bringing the house down without even being awake to see it. A true legend.