I have nothing against peanuts. They are delicious, most particularly roasted. I would even eat them raw if I was starving. But, boiled? No. There is nothing that would drive me to eat boiled peanuts.
So, what would drive a person, especially somebody in Florida who has the best orange juice and taffy, to boil peanuts? You know a food item is no good when it comes from central Florida, which is basically the worst part of Florida.
Connecticut -- Steamed Cheeseburgers
I would pay to know which person in Connecticut took a burger and said "I know the perfect way to make you even better. I shall steam you!" I can't think of any reason for a steamed cheeseburger to exist. While it's healthier than a deep-fried burger, nobody trying to eat healthily is going to reach for a burger of any sort.
Some of you may have thought that instead of the steamed burger, we would have put New Haven clam pizza, but oh no it ain't, that stuff is delicious! At least you can be relieved about one thing — this burger is hard to come across outside of the state of Connecticut.
Delaware -- Frozen Custard
Delaware, enough. I understand that when you're in a state like your own, you need something, anything to get some attention. I mean, it's a sad cry for attention that your state motto is "Delaware-We Also Exist!" But, creating ice cream with eggs in it does just the opposite. It awards you some major backlash.
You should definitely go back to the drawing board and find something that can pass as real state food. We'll be waiting here. To all of those who grew up on this stuff, I'm sure you have very fond memories. But, let's keep those as just memories and move on already.
Georgia -- Peanuts in Coke
If it's one thing I've never thought to combine is peanuts and coke. Nope, never once when I've been drinking a Coca-Cola, have I paused, pondered, and thought to myself that it would be a good idea to throw some salty peanuts into the mix. I know that Georgia is renowned for being peanut land, I mean, it's where Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm when he became president, but come on guys.
The trend apparently originated in the 1920s when workers didn't want to touch peanuts with their dirty hands so they tossed them in the coke. Makes sense but that was a food trend of the 1920s, people. Now we all walk around with clip-on hand sanitizers sipping on matcha lattes.
Hawaii -- Spam Musubi
This is an open letter of apology to everyone from Hawaii who eats spam. I am sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that you eat it, I'm sorry that you think it tastes good, and I'm sorry that you think it's food. But, I will not believe you. Your canned meat is sickening.
And I'm sorry for those of you who go to Hawaii expecting to enjoy a nice relaxing time on the beach with maybe even a massage and instead face confrontation by ukuleles and spam. A complete vacation ruiner. For those coming from the mainland (i.e. most of us in the country) they call it mystery meat.