Being drunk out in public is a common way for people to get in trouble with the law, but at least this woman wasn’t trying to drive home.
She just wanted a ride home from a cab, but just so happened to find a campus officer. What else was he supposed to do? Not drive the drunk woman home? Well, that’s exactly what he did. It’s one of those fun, simple stories that can be told and retold for laughter as the years pass by.
I Get That a Lot
Maybe he was training for a role, maybe he was just giving back to his community. Whatever the reason, this Pitt lookalike probably enjoyed being tied to one of the most famous and conventionally-attractive actors in the biz, but after a while it likely got old.
We also really like the criminal's response. It wasn't to get wide-eyed at the idea of being arrested by Pitt, it was to angrily say the man would never profit from his box office tickets again. We wonder if the real Pitt has ever heard this story, and what he thinks of it.
Well, I Don't Remember How to Take Those Cuffs Off
If you're a parent, you know how easily problems can be solved by asking the right questions. Criminals tend to not be the most intelligent of sorts, so a clever query will trip them up enough to make the truth obvious.
In this case, it took just a single question to give the police officers a good enough reason to call the case closed and bring in their man. Thing is, it's really hard to come up with a response for finding out the car you're driving is stolen. Literally, nothing makes sense.
Let's Just Both Forget About This
There are few things more nerve-wracking than having to sit in your car and wait for the highway patrol to saunter up to your driver-side window. But the cop and woman involved in this story got something way worse than a speeding ticket or another day on the job.
The woman avoided having to pay out, and both of them got a story that we're sure has been told over and over, with embellishments that get added on as time goes on. At least when the driver tells it, anyway. We're sure the cop doesn't want it to go on any longer than it has to.
A Good Enough Lesson on Its Own
The best part about this is he had no other option than to call the police himself. “Super drunk” isn't a medical term, so it's hard to tell if he was still sauced by the time the police arrived or not, but after several hours of hanging by the fence, we bet he was feeling the hangover.
Nice of the cops to just let him go. We have a pretty good bet that he learned his lesson. Plus, if he wasn't drunk anymore, what were they going to do? Charge him for getting stuck on a fence? That isn't a law even in the strictest counties.