You might read that headline and think “goodness, those Florida men couldn’t figure their way out of a wet paper bag. If only there was someone with her head screwed on straight to get him out.” You might be right, but there’s more to this story than there seems at first.
The man thought they were stuck inside a janitor’s closet for two days at Daytona State College, before eventually realizing they could just open the door and walk right out. They had to call 911.
This Guy Was Trying to Recreate a Cartoon Show
Zoo animals are watched pretty closely and cared for very carefully, so it's amazing to read that a guy was able to nab almost a dozen before getting caught. For those who are curious, the animals that he gathered include three Florida box turtles, two red-footed tortoises, a skunk, and a squirrel monkey.
It's a pretty safe bet that the reason he was discovered was that neighbors reported “monkey noises” coming from his apartment. They're quite hard to miss.
No One Will Ever Notice
Can you think of a better place to stash all of those purloined goods? We certainly can't. It's very possible that this guy got to his local Walmart with a hankering for surf 'n' turf, only to discover that he didn't have the funds on-hand to make such a lofty purchase.
What else was he supposed to do? Go home, earn money, and come back the next day with the right amount of cash? Don't be silly. No, he was going to try the time-honored tradition of stuffing stolen goods down his pants and pretend everything was kosher.
It Would Have Cost a Lot to Get Him Out of There
This story, while we assume it's hilarious, is going to have to be left up to our imaginations – authorities would not comment on how the man got stuck in the vending machine, or how they rescued him. There was no word on the extent of his injuries, and even the business where it happened was tight-lipped.
We're going to go ahead and picture a full-grown man entirely stuck inside the vending machine, eating a Snickers as firefighters pried the machine open.
That Will Show Him!
Judes Exantus didn't have a great day on August seventh, 2014. First, he was pulled over for running a stop sign, then tried to deny that he had committed any wrongdoing. However, the officer clearly witnessed the violation and started writing a ticket.
Sadly, the device that writes the tickets was also having a bad day, and Exantus was impatient. So, he decided to call 911 and complain. This, of course, resulted in another charge, misuse of 911, which led to an arrest and a need to post a $2,000 bail.