This story, while we assume it’s hilarious, is going to have to be left up to our imaginations – authorities would not comment on how the man got stuck in the vending machine, or how they rescued him. There was no word on the extent of his injuries, and even the business where it happened was tight-lipped.
We’re going to go ahead and picture a full-grown man entirely stuck inside the vending machine, eating a Snickers as firefighters pried the machine open.
No One Will Ever Notice
Can you think of a better place to stash all of those purloined goods? We certainly can't. It's very possible that this guy got to his local Walmart with a hankering for surf 'n' turf, only to discover that he didn't have the funds on-hand to make such a lofty purchase.
What else was he supposed to do? Go home, earn money, and come back the next day with the right amount of cash? Don't be silly. No, he was going to try the time-honored tradition of stuffing stolen goods down his pants and pretend everything was kosher.
Two Days and They Never Tried the Door?
You might read that headline and think “goodness, those Florida men couldn't figure their way out of a wet paper bag. If only there was someone with her head screwed on straight to get him out.” You might be right, but there's more to this story than there seems at first.
The man thought they were stuck inside a janitor's closet for two days at Daytona State College, before eventually realizing they could just open the door and walk right out. They had to call 911.
That Will Show Him!
Judes Exantus didn't have a great day on August seventh, 2014. First, he was pulled over for running a stop sign, then tried to deny that he had committed any wrongdoing. However, the officer clearly witnessed the violation and started writing a ticket.
Sadly, the device that writes the tickets was also having a bad day, and Exantus was impatient. So, he decided to call 911 and complain. This, of course, resulted in another charge, misuse of 911, which led to an arrest and a need to post a $2,000 bail.
We've All Had Days Like This
Gerald Griffin, 69, was having a fight with his roommate Danielle and wanted her gone, so he called the police at 12:30 in the morning. And at 1:30. And at 2:50 (still in the same morning), again. The deputies went to Griffin's home.
While they were there, he called 911 two more times. The deputies left, and Griffin called again, at around 3:30, to thank the deputies. They returned one last time, confirmed that Griffin had called six times without any real emergencies, and arrested him.