In case you weren’t aware, “bless his heart” is southern for “he’s a little idiot.” Throwing water on some girls is a time-honored tradition when it comes to little kids. Sure, it’s gross and distracting and they shouldn’t be doing it, but it’s generally pretty harmless. Unless it’s swamp water, which can contain any number of creepy crawlies, diseases, or bacteria.
Seeing as how this kid could barely read, he should probably have been paying attention to the blackboard, and not to soak his classmates. By itself, a Tupperware of water isn’t too bad, but it’s not the kind of thing you need to have during school unless all of your water bottles have leaks.
Was It at Least Around the Holidays?
Snowball fights might be common when the snow covers the ground, but there can be some other fights as well. We have to hope that the ornaments were the traditional round orbs that will bounce harmlessly off chests or heads, but there are a lot of different kinds. Snowflakes that are covered in glitter, crystal reindeer, ceramic Santas.
Depending on what the students had to use, this fight could have broken out into an all-out war. Oh, and then there are the icicles that could be used for close-quarters combat. Thankfully, the teacher stepped in to diffuse the situation before things could get any more violent.
Too Much Power in Those Beans
You could play 'em, race 'em, and collect 'em. Mighty Beanz was a toy that featured lots of different characters, but it was just too much fun for some stick-in-the-mud teachers, including this one. It was too much fun for the student to have while in class, but the student never even got it back.
The teacher was sucked in by the fun and strength of the Mighty Beanz. Way better than having to gather things like knives or live animals or, we don't know, mini toaster ovens. The teacher still has it, even to this day.
Where's the Rest of It?
“Field day,” for those that don't know, is a way to celebrate the end of the school year with a day of outdoor fun, events, and treats. And, for one student, the perfect opportunity to show off his new truck fender.
How exactly that was going to happen has to be left up to the imagination, but since the student had to drag it in, we imagine it was little more than pointing at it and saying “check it out. Truck fender.” It was the end of the school year, he probably wasn't all that upset.
Should Have Waited Until “Hamlet”
During “Macbeth?” Shameful. When it comes to the bard's best, it's hard to beat the story of the Scottish general who became King after a trio of witches deliver a prophecy. Everyone thinks “Hamlet” is so great, but The Scottish Play beats it by a country mile to many. We aren't putting down pudding, but you have to pay attention to the classics.
What would this student be doing during the segment on “Othello”? Eating Oreos? Perhaps the pudding was an allegory for the inner turmoil of Macbeth as his dastardly wife urges him on to greater and greater evil. Somehow.