Nothing like college to get all the bad decisions out of the way. And there’s nothing like sorta-sponsored college events to make sure all of these bad decisions get done when there are at least people around who will be able to help when they inevitably go wrong.
At least this guy wasn’t harming anybody. Still, being free in this way isn’t really allowed in polite company, especially with so many other people around. Was he really riding a bike without any pants on? The story doesn’t mention a bike for this guy, but it was at the bike race. Don’t think about it too hard.
The Life and Times of a Cop
We'd like to know if the duck was dead or not. If not, was it just letting him sit there and pluck out all its feathers? If it was, why was he at the riverbank? One way or the other, we aren't sure what this guy was planning to do, and we aren't entirely sure if we want to find out.
There is nothing in the story about illicit substances or a bit too much to drink, so we really don't know what the next step of the plan was going to be. Good thing the boys in blue got there and made sure, whatever it was, it didn't happen.
Sometimes You Just Have to Watch
If you ever want to imagine someone being at a loss for words, imagine this police officer watching this happen. A man who very well could be a tractor monk riding on the front (we're imagining the hood) of the tractor while it rolls down the street.
Was he under the influence? Had he discovered inner peace? We may never know. We do know that fixing and righting a tractor is going to cost him a pretty penny, and not being in control of your vehicle is a pretty good way to get arrested for reckless endangerment or something similar.
Just a Little Unbalanced
Despite how well-built they often are, cars aren't perfect. If five hundred pounds of aunt is stuck on one side, they're going to waver back and forth. Even just putting a couple of bags of groceries in the back is going to change your driving style a little bit. We know you've noticed, don't try to play coy.
If you're constantly trying to keep yourself on the road, the police will notice, but this guy at least had a pretty easy explanation.
Oh Yeah, That's the Good Stuff
This is from the annals of “I saw it in the newspaper,” but we thought it was good enough. Cops have to deal with a lot of people that are using things they shouldn't be, including things that go in their bodies. But, still, shouldn't be. Some of those substances use syringes.
Now look, we all love Dr. Pepper, but putting it straight into your body with a needle? We're going to assume that isn't healthy. Just drink it with your mouth like everyone else. There are also Dr. Pepper Twizzlers! They're not great.