The first part of this note isn’t so bad, if you chose to ignore the fact that this person thinks writing a last-minute sharpie letter on a dollar bill is ‘putting a lot of thought into it’.
At least they were considerate enough to offer to share the car and leave a dollar for the bus. We think Mary should spend as much time mourning this relationship as this person spent writing that note.
Not Working Out
Either this guy is a fitness freak and using exercise metaphors is the only way he knows how to communicate, or he's just an idiot. Breaking up with someone is never easy, and we get that maybe he tried to make it humorous, but he achieved the complete opposite.
Sara is probably better off without him, but it's never easy to have your relationship compared to doing push-ups on your knees.
In all fairness, they do have a point - 'babe' is now officially an ex. We love this person's quick wit and sense of humor, and we want to believe that they were joking playfully when they told 'babe' that they were totally replaceable.
Let's hope 'babe' understood it was all in good fun and there were no hard feelings. And nobody became an ex.
We truly hope this person was joking, because otherwise, he's the worst husband in history. Not only did he try to breakup with his wife through a text message, they were actually both in the house when he did it!
As if that cowardice weren't enough, he just admitted to having an affair. Hey, at least he was ending it.
Please Don't Call
You've got to love notes like this - short, to the point, and with an actual kiss on them. At least she was brutally honest and this person won't be left wondering what they did wrong. They just weren't any fun. That's not hurtful, is it?
On a positive note, this woman was kind enough to leave something to be remembered by - dry lipstick. And very clear instructions.