The card starts with the classic beginning, but everybody who’s been on the internet for a few years knows that anything could come after “violets are blue.” It also seems like this person has an excellent reason to give their beau the boot after a full calendar year of bad behavior.
The little bit at the end might not have the same rhyming scheme, but it’s a vital code to the whole card — time to get out of my life and start ruining someone else’s. I’m barely even going to give you good handwriting.
Hard to Miss
Communication is essential in a relationship, and communicating that a relationship is over is just as important. When you're breaking up with someone, say it clearly, so there isn't any room for confusion.
As this example shows, using the words "I'm breaking up with you" is a pretty standard way to do it – hard to misinterpret that sort of statement. Of course, there are many better ways to do it, but this is the bare minimum you should be using – it's not a break. You're breaking up.
Cool, Free Stuff
Revenge is something we're told is sweet, best served cold, or something we should try to avoid doing. When a jerk breaks up with you, you're allowed to get a little bit of revenge. Giving his stuff away is one of the classic examples.
Of course, the gal could have chosen to sell the property and make a few bucks, but this is just as good. We see a poster in there as well as something that ends with "-softener," which could start with water-, stool-, or several other things. This not only gets rid of some trash but embarrasses him as well! Nice.
Get the Dog Out of There
We hope this guy blocked the alleged Brenda on all his social media and phone because this kind of breakup will get you some angry messages. We'd also like to applaud Mark for leaving a couple of notes right there on the door.
Finally, we hope Brenda takes this opportunity to look at why she might have pushed Mark away – and scared a dog off at the same time. But if Brenda is like so many other Brendas, she's going to assume Mark is crazy and figure she doesn't have to change at all.
We've Seen Worse
Plenty of breakups end with tears, anger, shouts, and many hurt feelings, but there are also plenty of simple facts of life. For example, a long-term relationship wasn't in the cards, and both sides parted ways knowing there were better things for them.
In this example, the person on the right left the person on the left with a gif from one of the most classic breakup songs written since 2000. This was part of an inside joke between the two, which almost makes us sad. However, they were still clearly friends.