There really is nothing better than a good old-fashioned belly rub. Ask any dog. Well, most of them, at least. Belly rubs are instant mood-lifters, and dogs can just roll over, make puppy eyes, and ask for one—the lucky bums. Cats, however, are a different story. Proceed with caution.
When dogs offer you their belly to rub, it is also a sign they trust you. Some feel-good vulnerability is exactly what humans need too. Yes, we’ve heard about this thing called therapy, but a belly rub sounds so much better.
A Classic Reimagined
"The Great Catsby" is delightful not only for the clever pun but also for its quirky reimagination of the classic novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Somewhere in a parallel universe, Gatsby is just a cat that is hopelessly in love, amassing unimaginable wealth, and throwing lavish parties to impress Daisy, the cat his heart desires.
It’s an entirely plausible (paws-able?) concept. This feline muse is regal, beautiful, and notoriously difficult to win over. We would like to see you try, old sport. Granted, the car scenes will be a little tricky to pull off - but that's the magic of Hollywood, baby.
Cats know better than to waste their time on card games. Not only because everyone’s a "cheetah," but because card games require so much effort. Those complicated rules and lost hours. Why bother? You could be spending that time being delightful or looking fabulous. Or napping. Remember napping? They also don't have opposable thumbs.
Anyway, poker bluffs have nothing on cats, who are naturally adept at mind games. Once a cat unleashes a purr, it transforms from a menacing creature into a cute kitty cat - then BAM. Suddenly you're down an extra hundred bucks. No matter the outcome, a cat will be universally loved and worshipped by everyone at the table. Who’s the real winner?
Mooove out of our way while we decide what to feel about this dad joke. The idea of cows doing math is surreal. It’s probably why they look so preoccupied all the time while seemingly doing nothing. Do they use cow-culators or mental mathematics? We may never know.
All we know is that cows appear to be very busy — busy counting how many times they chew and regurgitate grass or counting the number of steps they take around the field each day. If cows wore smartwatches that counted their steps, we'd all be a bit sorry for how we judged them. Also, we'd have to take a good hard look at ourselves and ask ourselves, how can we attain the physical prowess of a cow?
Free the Bunny
Something tells us that the Energizer Bunny will easily make bail. No jury or judge in the world would convict this bunny. Charged with battery? How about being charged with being too lovable instead? This sweet fluff of a bunny couldn’t hurt a fly! The prosecution might have a better chance with speeding accusations - but you didn't hear that from us.
We’re quite sure any injuries sustained were accidental—a case of too much love that can't be contained. Charges dismissed. You’re free to go,