Dogs are typically honest, open, and often predictable. We understand dogs. But cats? Despite being the world’s most popular pet, cats remain an enigma, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. They are aloof and evasive. Cats insist on being accepted on their terms. What those terms might be, the world will never completely know.
Unlike almost every other domestic animal, cats come and go as they please. They might live with us, but possess remarkable agency and control over their lives – not to mention, ours. Cats are like the women of animals, those beautiful enigmas that we’ll never crack.
A Marketing Nightmare
Why? It’s probably because the name "apple juice" is already taken. Apple would need to do a lot of work to steer the search engines in their favor to corner the term "apple juice." However, you can argue that they already succeeded with the word "apple." Although the name is fun it’s not entirely accurate (if you care about that kind of thing). Technically, electricity is the juice.
The charger is merely a conduit for the juice to flow. Going by that logic, the charger is the straw to the apple juice and not the juice itself. We’re sorry for the pointless explanation and for killing the joke.
Quitting Cold Turkey Is Never a Good Idea
Instead, we became addicted to cold cuts and beer. All jokes aside, quitting cold turkey never works, whether you’re swearing off meat or lame puns that aggravate loved ones. It's a pretty extreme measure that works for a small percentage of people, but you're better of taking things in moderation. Which sucks for this person's family, who won't see their redemption as soon as they would like to.
The only way to stop is to decrease the urge gradually. Alternatively, find someone trustworthy who can keep you accountable. If all else fails, try putting a dollar or five in the jar whenever the impulse strikes. An empty wallet can be a great motivator.
Higher Education and Enlightenment for Dogs
This joke is hilarious and so clever. It's honestly one of the best on the list. We can’t decide which scenario is cuter – dogs with a Master’s degree or fresh graduates with a more nuanced understanding of their humans. These canine cuties have our hearts no matter what they do. So it's great that they may be one step closer to understanding that.
Cheers, and massive congratulations to the graduating class! It’s been a long road, but we know you worked hard and aimed to please. Go forth and spread your joy. Make this big, bad world a better place. We know you can do it.
We Are All Groot
Can we subscribe to receive updates from the Carroll County Veterinary Clinic? Do they have a brand deal with Samsung yet? They need one, stat. Maybe even a Disney deal while they're at it. Their signage game is on point! This one, in particular, deserves a high-five, a chest bump, and a cool secret handshake all at once.
It makes us want to buy a Samsung phone just so we can call ourselves Guardians of the Galaxy. Naysayers and Apple loyalists can take a hike. Or, we can settle this the old-fashioned way. In the words of Peter Quill, "Dance off, bro."