Walking outside alone at nighttime isn’t a very pleasant experience. It’s dark and scary and everything makes weird noises. Walking outside alone at night is like being the star of a horror movie without the benefits of a script or a stunt double. To feel safer, many people resort to their phones and speak to a friend, be it via texts or actual phone calls.
This case, however, is one of the rare occasions where contacting a fellow human didn’t make the nightwalker feel safer. In fact, it made them feel worse. No thanks. Next time, this person will probably take their chances indoors with Netflix.
No One Will Ever Know
When texting with someone who is presumably into some less-than-legal business, this guy was asked to make sure the whole interaction does not look suspicious. And that's exactly what he did. So stealthy. So inconspicuous. This dude should be working for the FBI.
This talented individual has been blessed with sharp intuition and a crisp understanding of how to keep things on the down low. There is no doubt that using the person's name would have been a lot more alarming. Or just any random name. We would have gone with "Aunt Phillis" but that sounds a lot more suspicious than the final choice here.
You Can't Handle the Truth
Oh, the things you find when you go antiquing. Little pieces of history, trinkets from the days of yore, horse-shaped high heels — it's all so intriguing and not at all nightmare-inducing. Obviously, you need to send a picture of your treasured findings to everyone you know. Even if that treasured finding will irk them beyond reason.
Can you imagine hearing a ping from your phone, seeing your friend sent you a picture, and then opening the message to THIS? We wouldn't wish it on anyone. If this horseshoe is, in fact, the truth, we would rather be living in a lie.
I Said What I Said
Sophie's prom date wants to know he is following the rules and doing the right thing. The prom date's duties are pretty simple: wear a suit, pick her up, give her flowers, and share a dance. Except there was a good chance here that the flowers would be swapped for something else.
Sophie here doesn't seem to get just how lucky she is. While it's customary for young girls to wear a corsage gifted to them by their dates for prom, she could have scored something much, much better. We would take pastries over flowers anytime, anywhere. Sophie, take your carbs, hold that man and never let him go.
Someone was hit in the face with a surprise pun. And by "someone" we mean us. We almost fell into that one ourselves. Fine, not almost — more like fell hard and bruised our knees. Yet, somehow, we liked it. We just love puns in any way, shape, or form.
We bet the person behind the gray text bubbles was facepalming the second they got the punchline. Let's just hope they didn't bruise themselves too. Props to the person behind the blue text bubbles, who figured out what must be the only way to connect American rapper Post Malone to Hollywood's most troubled little boy Macaulay Culkin.