When being broken up with, the only way to come out of it with a shred of dignity is to know your worth and leave with a gracious smile that will leave the other side doubting their decision. Green Bubbles here, obviously didn’t get the memo and finished this relationship with a crushed dignity and not much else.
Someone is going to have their name on the contact list changed from “Babe” to “Do Not Answer” but it doesn’t sound like “Babe” is too mad about it. Maybe Babe has had enough of partners with poor reading comprehension and is now on the hunt for someone with better skills in that department.
Happy Hour Was a Little Too Happy
Remember that night you got black-out drunk? Of course, you don't. You were black-out drunk. All you remember is waking up in your bed (hopefully) the next morning. Some pictures on your phone might jog your memory, but they won't recreate the entire night so you're bound to be left with some unsolved mysteries on your hands.
Good thing you have your friends to remind you of the occurrences of that night. The person in the gray bubbles had the missing pieces of the previous night filled in by their friend in the blue bubbles. Those missing pieces include way too many margaritas.
We've seen him before. We know it but we just can't place it just yet and it's driving us crazy. Maybe it's that guy from that movie we watched the other night? Nah, they just look similar. Could it be our latest Tinder match? No, that guy turned out to be a douche and this one seems sweet.
How about that kid we went to middle school with? Oh wait, he's had some plastic surgery done a few years back so he doesn't look like that anymore. Could it be the actor from that cereal commercial? Yeah, that's definitely the one. Phew.
Technically It's Not Even English
English is hard y'all. It's not even its own language — more like a collage of, like, four other languages. That's why spelling is so inconsistent. Seriously, why do tough and though sound so different? They don't even rhyme! And don't even get us started on the way too many ways to pronounce "ough".
No other language that we know of has a spelling system warped enough to justify nationally televised spelling bees. So can you really blame the poor guy for spelling croissant the way he hears it? And in any case, it's not like the original French spelling is super phonetic either...
There are so many kinds of drunk people. There's the aggressive drunk ("Are you looking at me?"), the happy drunk ("I love you so much, man"), the dancing drunk ("Hey DJ, put on some Beyonce!"), the puking in the alley drunk ("Tiffany, hold my hair"). These are all classics and they are just the tip of the iceberg.
Sometimes, depending on the number and the kind of drinks, they can all manifest in one person. This text exchange, though, is all about the supportive drunk. Honestly, we aren't big on Pokemon, so catching a Snorlax might actually be the big deal this drunk friend makes it out to be.