This mock apple pie uses Ritz Crackers instead of real apples. Why? Who on earth knows? But the rest of the ingredients of a traditional apple pie are pretty much the same, like cinnamon, butter, and sugar. Luckily, there’s no mayo, tuna, or gelatin in this one! But, believe it or not…it does taste like a real apple pie.
Not your grandma’s apple pie – more like something you would get at a McDonald’s. “Mock” Apple Pie may not be what you’re used to, but it will certainly leave a lasting impression. Fair warning: this dessert may cause a shift in the matrix.
Jelly Soufflé Salad
Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, enter the Jelly Soufflé Salad. This oddity is a forgotten gem from the '60s that will make you grateful for the evolved tastes of the present. What is it? An unfathomable fusion of fish, gelatin, and citrus.
Yes, apparently, someone thought that was a good idea. It’s one of those trends that belongs to a bygone era and will (no, MUST) forever remain there. You’ve got to hand it to baby boomers and their kitchen experiments. Were they creative geniuses? Audacious? Or just plain loopy? The jury’s out on that one.
Orange Delight Pie
The name might sound like a summer’s delight, but this pie is anything but! It takes guts to butcher a beloved American classic, but someone went ahead and did just that. The Orange Delight Pie challenges all our notions of color and flavor. It doesn’t take a genius to know that pies just shouldn’t have a radioactive-orange color.
And to make things worse, this “pie” is made of orange Kool-Aid powder. Who would’ve thought that the iconic powdered drink mix could find its way into a pie and be topped with cream cheese, no less? In a world where you can be anything, don’t mess with the beloved pie.
Frozen Fruitcake Salad
The polarizing fruitcake has sparked debates over generations. Some love it, while others find it less than appetizing. We’re inclined to agree with the latter. As if the taste wasn’t strange enough, this fruitcake comes frozen. Frozen Fruitcake Salad takes the already divisive fruitcake to even more questionable heights.
But what does this mean for the eating experience? Chances are you might break your teeth while trying to sink them into this odd sweet treat. And don’t even get us started on why they call it a “salad.” Experience tells us not to go down that murky path lest we completely lose our minds.
Fizzy Float
We're lucky that evolution has allowed our palates to become more refined over the decades. If not, we'd still be mixing lemon-lime soda with dairy products! This ad calls it a f(l)avor; this looks more like a punishment if you ask us. In a world where kitchen experiments had no limits, we must acknowledge the daring spirit of the baby boomers, going boldly where no chef had gone before.
As fun as all the trial and error might sound, we’re glad the days of wild experimentation are over (at least in the kitchen.) It paved the way for the tastes and preferences of today, and can we just say how relieved and thankful we are?
Cloud Eggs
Also known as Eggs Nests, the Cloud Eggs are surprisingly popular even today – probably because it’s an affordable meal. But remember that adding sides like salad, milk, and fruits can quickly change the price. Still, the joy of Cloud Eggs extends far beyond cost if reports are to be believed. It's about the experience.
Here’s something whimsically delightful about biting into a fluffy cloud-like creation. In terms of visual appeal, this dish, thankfully, doesn't make our eyes hurt. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and it’s on you to make it extraordinary. Why settle for runny eggs when you can have fluffy, baked eggs instead?
The "Mock" Apple Pie
This mock apple pie uses Ritz Crackers instead of real apples. Why? Who on earth knows? But the rest of the ingredients of a traditional apple pie are pretty much the same, like cinnamon, butter, and sugar. Luckily, there's no mayo, tuna, or gelatin in this one! But, believe it or not...it does taste like a real apple pie.
Not your grandma’s apple pie - more like something you would get at a McDonald's. "Mock" Apple Pie may not be what you're used to, but it will certainly leave a lasting impression. Fair warning: this dessert may cause a shift in the matrix.
Cheese N' Lime Salad
Setting the stage for Cheese N' Lime Salad is Jell-0 (but of course!). Not just any Jell-O, vibrant green Jell-O! Now let’s add a few more puzzling ingredients into the mix: cottage cheese, mayo, and seafood! The idea for this strange salad raises a few critical questions.
Are baby boomers collectively insane? Or are we dull and boring in our taste adventures? Are we basic that way? It’s too early in the day to confront this reality. Like most foods from the good old days, this one defies logic and convention. Maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith and embrace the confusion.
Chicken Marbella
The recipe might seem dated to millennials, but it was a Boomer favorite! Near the southern tip of Spain lies the coastal town of Marbella, a sun-soaked playground that caters to the super-rich. Marbella boasts Michelin-starred restaurants and mouthwatering dishes, but Chicken Marbella didn’t originate here.
The sweet and sour baked chicken with prunes and olives was actually invented in New York City by Jewish chef and entrepreneur Sheila Lukins. The dish seems like your average roast chicken at first glance. Peek inside and you’ll find an unconventional ingredient that gets most tongues wagging – a peculiar dried fruit that lends the dish its signature flavor. It’s contentious because you don’t usually cook with this dried fruit.
Pigs in Blanket
It seems like everyone loses their minds whenever the words "pigs" and "blankets" are uttered together. But is the dish worth the hype? Hear us out before you come baying for blood. We eat sausages and bacon all the time. So why is it that when we wrap them together, it suddenly becomes a culinary classic?
Even when we enjoy sausages and bacon side by side for breakfast, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone squealing with joy. Don’t get us wrong. We don’t take particular issue with Pigs in Blanket. We just don’t understand what the fuss is all about. What is it about wrapping these meats together that drives everyone crazy?
Jello and Cream Cheese Squares
Just when we thought we’d seen everything, we entered Jell-O and cream cheese squares into our lives and into this list. What is it? Basically, a dessert on a bed of lettuce leaves. And, like everyone, we have so many questions! Is it a sandwich? Is it a salad? A healthy dessert, just for the insane? Digging into the whats and whys is probably futile.
The dish was supposedly a boomer favorite. A staple at potlucks and holiday feasts. Family gatherings must have been wild in the Boomer era. This one's best for sweet reminiscing. Please, never bring it back!
Coconut Beach Ball Cake
The Coconut Beach Ball Cake is a ‘70s dessert that boomers haven’t gotten over yet. One possible reason behind its enduring popularity is its uncanny ability to transport them to those good old beach vacations. Every bite is a taste of nostalgia. The Coconut Beach Ball Cake isn't just a cake – it's a time machine to when life was simpler.
Of beach vacations and carefree moments. Who knows what the cake tastes like, but it is bound to start a conversation with its eye-catching design. This cake is the focal point of any gathering, for better or for worse.
Punch Bowl Cake
Punch bowl cake is exactly what it sounds like. Cake, fruit, pudding, and whipped cream in a punch bowl. Seems palatable enough, but surely, there are better desserts out there! We know there are. Why settle for traditional cake layers (one neatly stacked on top of the other) when you can make it a treasure hunt instead?
Each spoonful reveals a different surprise. Whimsy aside, we don’t get the point of cake in a punch bowl. Just eat cake or drink some punch separately. Should we retire the Punch Bowl Cake? It’s time unless you’re all about culinary chaos in the garb of nostalgia.
Avocado and Shrimp Cocktail
Step aside, avocado toast! We're taking a trip to the swinging '60s with the avocado and shrimp cocktail. This relic from the boomer generation is featured at kids’ birthday parties, of all places! It's the kind of dish kids would’ve run away from — parents having to buy them ice cream or pizza as a treat on the way home.
But adults could definitely get behind this "cocktail," we think. The dish combines shrimp and creamy avocado, doesn’t it? You whisk together some mayonnaise, ketchup, Tabasco sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. The result? A tangy, creamy appetizer that doesn’t sound too bad at all.
Melon Change-About
The Melon Change-About involves carving a melon into a flowery masterpiece and then stuffing it with melon balls for decoration. It seems like a whole lot of effort for nothing, doesn’t it? A prime example of taking a simple task and turning it into a Herculean challenge.
What happened to just slicing melons or balling them? No, that’s too basic. Let’s combine the two for reasons unknown. Is it a lesson in patience and precision or a cry for help? Folks back then clearly had too much time to kill. Final verdict: masterpiece or disaster? We may never fully understand the purpose of this creation.
Midget Burgers
Before sliders became a trendy bite-sized sensation, there were Midget Burgers, a culinary gem straight out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine in 1954. Were these bite-sized burgers a yay or nay? These mini marvels were precursors to today's sliders, and how bad could that be?
They’re mini burgers, right? Just with a much more eyebrow-raising name. If the internet existed then, it would be up in arms and raging by now. It's up to individual choices at the end of the day. You must decide if you're willing to overlook the name and embrace the charm of these pint-sized patties.
Cheese Ball
The 1960s food scene was infamous for disastrous creations like meat cakes in mayo frosting or dishes with obscene amounts of Jell-O. But one dish stands out, even though it involves a ton of processed ingredients. Say hello to the cheese ball, a boomer creation that looks like it clogs arteries but is also delicious.
The traditional cheese ball recipe involves combining cream cheese with shredded cheddar and a blend of seasonings like hot sauce, Worcestershire, and garlic powder. The mixture is then molded into a ball shape and coated with nuts. While it may be associated with a bygone era, let’s not be quick to dismiss a dish that ranks so high in cheesy goodness!
Eggs Stuffed With Sour Cream and Red Caviar
How would you like your eggs today? We’re feeling like a platter of vibrant eggs delicately stuffed with sour cream and red caviar. You know, if it isn’t too much trouble. Talk about an elaborate meal! If you're a true caviar enthusiast, these colorful stuffed eggs might be right up your alley, as long as you’re not the one cooking!
Let’s be real. This takes skill, time, and patience — from perfectly boiling the eggs to delicately hollowing them out, filling them with a creamy mixture, and topping them with sour cream and caviar. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
Guitar Cake
Parties have always been serious business in Puerto Rico, even during the boomer era. And what better way to celebrate than with a guitar cake that doubles as a tropical symphony for your taste buds? Forget traditional cake flavors like chocolate or vanilla. Puerto Rico takes a fruity approach.
The guitar cake embraces the natural bounty of the island. It’s made entirely of what seems like flambéed fruit on a base of fresh bananas. Look, we love the idea of healthy cakes but fruit in its natural state might be better. Fruit pudding or custard will also do, and if all else fails, there’s always actual cake.
Chiffon Tapioca
Color us confused. Is that cake or a ball of tropical fruit masquerading as cake? Complete with pineapple chunks that seem to defy gravity, this creation is odd. We don’t know what we feel about the aesthetics. It's like someone played a pointless prank on the classic coconut cake.
Who was the mischievous pastry chef that first came up with this? And why? One thing’s for sure. The cake scores high when it comes to the quirks of baby boomer foods. It’s textbook, in fact. We’re just glad there’s no Jell-O or mayonnaise involved, at least from the outside. Small mercies.
Marshmallow Guts With Lime
From "55 Dainty Recipes" by Marcia Camp comes a peculiar pie creation: Marshmallow Guts with Lime. Yes. It's a pie that combines the goodness of marshmallows with zesty lime flavor. Why stick to boring old chocolate all the time? Let's also not dwell on the name too much because, yes, Marshmallow Guts with Lime might sound a tad off-putting.
But this pie is actually a delightful surprise. Soft and gooey marshmallow texture mingles with refreshing lime zest, which isn’t all that bad if reports are true. The quirky flavor combination works, despite all odds. Who would’ve thought? Could lime-flavored marshmallows be the future?
Hasselback Potatoes
Potatoes for the win, always. Show us a person who disagrees and we will show you a person who is lying. Hasselback Potatoes are essentially potatoes with slices in them. The term "Hasselbacking" refers to a cooking method where potatoes or other items are sliced in thin, even layers without completely cutting through.
The technique creates more surface area for flavors to penetrate. It also gives that extra oomph of texture. The name "Hasselback" originated from a restaurant called Hasselbacken in Stockholm, Sweden in the 1940s. The recipe for Hasselback potatoes was born here. Pretty-looking, flavorful potatoes. What’s not to love? Boomers, you got this one right!
Frozen Cheese Salad
This recipe for Weight Watchers is just the kind of recipe you need to lose a few extra pounds. Mainly because no one would be able to stomach more than a teaspoon of this cheese blob. Don’t get us wrong. We love our cheese. But this so-called salad is enough to turn even the most fanatical cheese lover into a vegan.
Making this frozen delight even less appealing is the baffling uncooked broccoli as garnish. You know, just in case you forgot it was a salad. Nothing says "appetizing" like a raw vegetable topping. We’ll stick to more traditional salads, thank you very much.
Ham Salad
It's no secret that boomers have a knack for adding mayonnaise to everything! Was the Boomer era the reign of mayonnaise? Because it appears they had an abundance of it at their disposal. Don’t believe us? How about the ungodly creation they call the Ham Salad?
Ham, a savory delight on its own, meets its unexpected partner in crime: mayonnaise. And as if that weren’t bad enough, they added grapes to the mix too! We’re all for experimentation in the kitchen, within reason and basic culinary logic. Ham salad makes us question whether baby boomers belong in the kitchen at all!
Instant Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes: the ultimate comfort food. So simple, cheap, and delicious. Why anyone would resort to buying them from a box or a can, we’ll never know! Making mashed potatoes from scratch couldn't be easier. A quick search on Google will give you countless recipes and techniques to master this kitchen staple.
It’s a no-brainer to save yourself some serious cash and control the quality and flavor of your spuds. The next time you’re tempted to reach for a box of mashed potatoes, remember this. You deserve better. You deserve the real deal, made with love and care in your very own kitchen.
Boiled Brussels Sprouts
Boiled Brussels sprouts? Terrible idea. No wonder they've earned such a bad reputation! Baby Boomers single-handedly managed to turn entire generations off Brussels sprouts. All you had to do was roast the vegetable! When these little beauties hit the oven, they transform into irresistible bites of heaven.
Thanks to the oven, these mini cabbages have been making a comeback lately. And look at what the world has been missing. Not only are Brussels sprouts delicious, they contain a ton of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and anti-cancer properties! Stop boiling things; we implore you. Roasting is everything. Give it a try, and prepare to have your taste buds blown away.
Applebee's
We’re not big fans of chain restaurants, and Applebee's secures a top spot on the list. Sure, they might have some pretty good dishes. But if you've ever seen the calorie information, your jaw would drop. There’s no reason in the entire bible of reasons why salad should have over a thousand calories.
There’s also no reason why a salad should be drenched in fried meat and thick dressing. The baby boomers strike again with their love for mayonnaise and margarine. We love you, but we're begging you to reconsider your dressing choices. Let the vibrant flavors of fresh produce shine through.
Twinkies
For many baby boomers, the thought of Twinkie-free shelves and cupboards is a serious downer. These golden goodies have become synonymous with a bygone era. After the Cuban missile crisis, a common joke circulated that only cockroaches and Twinkies would survive a nuclear meltdown. Talk about resilience!
All jokes aside, it makes us wonder what goes into the making of these otherwise soft and gushy treats. It must be some seriously sketchy stuff. Twinkies are highly processed and unhealthy snacks. If that wasn’t bad enough, people have gone the extra mile by deep-frying them. That’s just wrong on so many levels.
White People Tacos
It's time we have a serious chat about the state of tacos. The beloved dish has been completely hijacked and overshadowed by its obnoxious "white" cousin. You know which imposter we're talking about—the one with salad toppings, yellow cheese, flavorless ground beef, and a generous dollop of sour cream. It's time to put an end to this culinary charade.
So, what makes a taco truly authentic? A soft corn tortilla cradling strips of simmered, spicy beef complemented by the freshness of cilantro and the zing of onions. The true symphony of taste transports you to the heart of Mexico. No more unoriginal crap masquerading as tacos. We need to reclaim the real deal.
Glazed carrots
First things first, did you know that carrots, the innocent orange roots we all love, are already high in sugar? Carrots are so sweet you might as well be munching on candy. Which is why glazing carrots are almost like preemptively knocking your own teeth out.
If you're brave enough to venture into the land of tooth-aching sweetness, go ahead and indulge. Just be prepared for the consequences. Perhaps keep a dentist on speed dial or invest in some extra-strength toothpaste. It's a sugary disaster waiting to happen. As for us, we like carrots in their natural, crunchy glory. Why drench them in sugar?
Fruitcake
The cake looks like it should go right on the top of a Christmas tree and not in a human's body. According to Urban Dictionary, fruitcake also refers to somebody who is completely insane. Makes sense because to make or eat this cake, you better be just that. At least that way, you'd have an excuse.
While fruitcake is a very traditional holiday food, it seems that millennials' obsession with health and fitness might override the tradition. Are we seeing an end to the universally despised fruitcake era? Hopefully soon. These sugar-filled dense cakes don’t align with anybody's New Year's resolutions.
Big Macs
The mighty Big Mac just isn't cutting it with young millennials. Believe it or not, only one in five millennials has dared to take a bite out of a Big Mac. The burger that once ruled the fast-food kingdom is facing a serious popularity crisis. Why? Maybe it’s just us, but have you seen the grease on that thing? The world has plenty of alternative burger joints today.
They might come at a slightly higher price tag, but what you're paying for is fresh produce, high-quality bread, and most of all, peace of mind. Newsflash: you can enjoy a burger without having to worry about cardiac arrest. So, stop and walk away slowly from that Big Mac!
Budweiser
If you're a millennial, chances are you're enjoying brews from one of thousands of craft breweries across the United States instead of traditional beer giants like Budweiser. Why is beer today so different from what our parents and grandparents used to sip on? Research says consumer loyalties are often formed based on early exposure, and this holds true for beer as well. The beer market looked different in the 1970s and 1980s.
Craft beer was taking baby steps, and options were scarce. That's probably why baby boomers developed loyalties towards traditional beers - they didn't have much else available to them. At least, that’s the hope because we can’t explain the Budweiser fixation otherwise!
Pop-Tarts
If there's one food that screams "baby boomer nostalgia," it's got to be Pop-Tarts! These iconic breakfast treats have become a cultural phenomenon. But what makes these frosted delights so special is their ability to bridge the generational gap. They've managed to capture the hearts of not only baby boomers but their children as well. Still, Pop-Tarts aren't exactly the epitome of healthy food.
They may have won over our hearts but fall short in the nutrients department. Life is all about balance, however. Surely, it’s ok to indulge in Pop-Tarts if we also incorporate healthier options into our breakfast routine. That way, we can enjoy the best of both worlds.
Actually Eating Spam
Did anyone grow up with a can of this iconic pork product in the pantry? Those who didn't might've missed out on a defining experience of the baby boomer era. The marvel called Spam skyrocketed to fame after World War II. Spam didn’t need refrigeration.
It was the go-to choice for a quick and easy meal. The flip side? Spam is jam-packed with high-fat content, sodium, and a host of other suspicious preservatives. Plus, there's just something unsettling about meat being squeezed into a can don't you think? Thankfully, people are making better choices today. Let’s ditch spam and choose fresh, unprocessed meat options.
Creamed Corn
Corn is undeniably amazing and versatile to boot. We love it roasted or boiled. Nothing compares to the simple joys of corn on the cob. Creamed corn may bring back memories of family gatherings or childhood meals for boomers, but surely there are other ways to indulge in sweet nostalgia.
Sometimes, less is more. Creamed corn is loaded with calories, in case you hadn’t noticed. This dish is bad for your health, especially when paired with other favorites of the boomer era like Spam, Jell-O, and Twinkies! Let’s part ways with excessive cream in everything. Your body will thank you!
Mayo and Bologna Sandwiches
In the realm of lunch foods, bologna sandwiches are the ultimate horror story. An unholy alliance of mayo and lunch meat on white bread. It’s one of the most nutrition-lacking, stomach-churning meals you can subject yourself to. A sad bologna sandwich sitting in your backpack for hours slowly transforms into a mushy nightmare.
Let’s not forget the excessive amounts of preservatives, fat, and sodium in every bite. And just when you think it can’t get worse, it does! Each bite is downright strange and slimy — an experience you won't soon forget. It’s high time we say goodbye to this soggy, sad excuse for lunch.
Fish Sticks
The appetizing images may lure you in, but don't be fooled! What actually comes out of the oven is shocking. That deceptive crispy exterior hides a world of disappointment — a soggy, cold, and processed mush that leaves your taste buds in despair. Plus, these little devils can wreak havoc on your digestive system. We’ve heard many a horror story about killer heartburn induced by fish sticks.
Is convenience over quality really worth all the trips to the doctor? As millennials, we know what's up when it comes to seafood. Give us quality wild-caught salmon over the lackluster experience of frozen fish sticks any day. Baby boomers, it's time to level up our culinary game.
Liver and Onions
The silver lining: liver is low in calories and packed with essential nutrients. But is that enough to salvage this horror of a dish? We think not. Liver and onions are one of the many baby boomer dishes that have overstayed their welcome. You have to give it credit for a never say die attitude, though.
Liver and onions still feature in diners and good ol' American home-style restaurants scattered across the U.S. It’s a staple part of what they call “traditional” meals, alongside breakfast specials like cheese omelets, hash browns, and pancakes. But honestly, this culinary relic needs to go.
Instant Mac N’ Cheese
Instant mac and cheese is a dish too distressing to even think about. We get that it reminds boomers of the good old days. But here’s the thing about nostalgia. It’s a highly-skewed perspective. The good old days weren’t always “good,” and in the case of foods, far from healthy. The radioactive orange hue of the cheese sauce should’ve been your first clue, practically screaming “Hazardous Material.”
The artificial cheese powder brings more than just flavor, but a gamut of unhealthy chemicals you might want to think twice about. If anything can survive on your pantry shelf for an eternity, it's worth asking yourself whether that's a good thing.
Pot Pies
Every baby boomer has a pot pie story to share. Whether homemade or store-bought, these savory delights were a fixture in their childhoods. This is one food from the “good old days” that still makes sense to us. We admit, there’s something magical about breaking through the flaky crust of a pot pie and digging into that filling.
As delicious as they may be, pot pies can bring on quite the stomach ache. The rich ingredients and hearty portions can sometimes leave you feeling uncomfortably full. Oh well. An upset tummy is a small price to pay for the indulgence of comfort food bliss.
Ham and Banana Hollandaise
If the sight of Ham and Banana Hollandaise doesn't make you queasy, we don't know what will. Few things epitomize culinary chaos, like Ham and Banana Hollandaise. The unholy combination of flavors and textures leaves us in shivers. It’s an assault on the senses in every way. Let’s break it down for you. Bananas sprinkled with lemon juice, inside a ham casing, with a drizzle of mustard sauce.
Bake the concoction for 10 minutes and smother in hollandaise sauce! Sometimes, it's best to leave certain ingredients separate and allow them to shine. Some things are simply not meant to go together – lessons for the kitchen and life overall.
Scotch Eggs
The enigma known as Scotch Eggs. The name hints at a connection to the famous Scotch whisky, but what lies beneath this bizarre creation? Who in the world came up with the idea of combining hard or soft-boiled eggs with mysterious sausage meat? That’s quite the head-on collision of flavor and texture.
Being coated in breadcrumbs only adds another layer of mystery to this dish. You can’t help but wonder if the creator of this dish was three sheets to the wind on whisky. Because some kind of crazy spirit had to be involved in the making of Scotch Eggs. Right?
Peppermint Popcorn Tree
Picture squares of popcorn stuck together with Karo syrup. An edible, festive masterpiece is sure to bring joy to every child's heart. Karo syrup is magic that holds everything together, quite literally. It functions like a sticky and delicious adhesive to keep the popcorn tree standing. Now that’s all very whimsical and delightful. But it might be worth noting that Karo syrup has hidden talents beyond culinary delights.
It’s a traditional remedy to relieve constipation. Surprised? By now, we might be growing immune to the hidden horrors lurking in baby boomer foods. And suddenly, that explains everything! Their insides might be numb from years of eating bad food – so much so that the body just doesn’t react to it anymore.
Jellygrill Sandwich
Jellygrill Sandwich is processed food madness at its finest. The recipe calls for slathering grape jelly (obviously with high fructose corn syrup), some highly processed Velveeta cheese, and of course, white bread. Top it off by spreading the outside of the bread with good old hydrogenated oil margarine.
Why stop at one questionable ingredient when you can pile on several? Finally, ingest the sandwich hot or cold. Thanks, but no thanks! The Jellygrill Sandwich is a shining example of what not to eat if you value your health and sanity. Our thoughts go out to the unfortunate kids who opened their lunch boxes only to find this monstrosity lurking inside.
Cornflour Mold
It might look like your typical Jell-O treat, but oh no it isn’t! The hero of this dessert is (drum roll) cornstarch. Cornstarch is no stranger in the kitchen, but its appearance in this peculiar dessert leaves us confused. With countless other uses for cornstarch, who could have predicted its role in this bizarre concoction? Gather cornstarch, milk, sugar, and vanilla extract, and voila – you have yourself the Cornflour Mold.
It's a dessert that defies all expectations, and you're supposed to love it. It was often served with a side of canned fruit (of course, it was canned fruit). If you were feeling particularly mischievous, you could even transform this recipe into an economical mousse to further torture unsuspecting family members.
Hot Dog Fondue
Fondue parties were all the rage during the 70s. Friends and family huddled around a bubbling fondue pot. Stories were shared. Good food was had. But wait, things are about to take a quirky turn. Brace yourselves for the hot dog cutting chart— a myriad of unconventional ways to slice up everyone's favorite sausages.
Who would've guessed that there were so many creative ways to transform a simple hot dog? Call us old-fashioned, but some of us prefer a more traditional approach. Slap a hot dog on a bun, top it with your favorite condiments, and call it a day. After all, simplicity is the key to hot dog perfection.
Lobster Jell-O
Just when you thought you had seen it all, behold the dreaded lobster Jell-O. And now you really have a reason to fear for your life because this thing looks dangerous. In a world where culinary trends come and go, lobster Jell-o has mercifully disappeared from the spotlight.
And there's a very good reason for that. This layered monstrosity is a ghastly combination of gelatin, vinegar, pint cream, shrimp, mayonnaise, and the star of the show—lobster. The repulsive texture is likely to send shivers down your spine and activate your gag reflex. As for the taste? That’s best left unexplored if you value your gut.
Jellied Tomato Refresher
Why was everything jellied? This period of culinary history had gelatin in every recipe imaginable. Here we have the jelly salad—a concoction that raises more questions than it answers. The salad is a curious mix of gelatin, tomato juice, dehydrated green pepper, artificial sweetener, and even beef broth. Sounds suspiciously like Rachel Green’s botched-up English trifle in “F.R.I.E.N.D.S,” except jellied tomato is a legit recipe!
The origins of the dish go back to 1974, allegedly in “Weight Watchers” —a program known for its calorie-conscious approach. The jellied tomato refresher might be low in calories, but it falls woefully short in both taste and nutritional value. Perhaps one can count their calories and steps while walking this dish right back into the fridge or the trash. Spare yourself the torture of eating it.
Atora Steak Puddings
Hold up! Is that a body part? Atora Steak Puddings might have been a hit back in the day, but it's time to embrace modern culinary trends. Baby boomers let go of the past. Please. Why stick to the same old “pudding” (we use the term loosely here) when there's a world of new recipes out there?
These puddings are often loaded with unhealthy fats and calories. We’d probably understand if they tasted good. But, sorry. This dish is bland and lacks any excitement in the taste department. Why feel weighed down (sometimes quite literally) by bizarre culinary traditions? Choose lighter, healthier, and tastier alternatives.
Shrimp Sandwich Roll
The Shrimp Sandwich Roll probably tasted okay, but its marketing might have doomed it from the start. The aesthetics leave much to be desired. But let’s backtrack a bit. Back in the day, Instagram-worthy food wasn't a priority. Those were simpler times. This one’s a classic case of "looks can be deceiving."
While the Shrimp Sandwich Roll may not win any beauty contests, it's the flavor that truly matters. Right? We don’t know if we can fall in love with its potential, though. All we see is a pile of inedible goop. Steer clear unless you’re the kind who loves a food adventure yourself that's both intriguing and off-putting.
Tomato-Banana Tarts
When two fantastic ingredients come together, it can lead to a surprising outcome. But in the case of Tomato-Banana Tarts, the combination might not be as appealing as it sounds. The picture certainly does no justice to potential taste, completely abysmal in visual appeal.
Yes, we know tomatoes are technically considered a fruit. But who in their right mind sees this combination as a typical fruit salad? It might be more enjoyable to mix bananas with apples or other fruits and pair tomatoes with various vegetables or even different fruits. Tomatoes and bananas? There’s no way we’re going near the thing!
Banana Candles?
In our long list of gag-worthy retro food is this strange recipe that comes from a cookbook titled “Be Bold With Bananas,” published in 1972. Apparently, hors d'oeuvres like this were all the rage back in the '60s. As much as we like bananas, we'll pass on them when served with mayo and pineapples on a bed of lettuce. Just the mere mention of all four in the same sentence can make even the most adventurous foodies hesitate.
We appreciate the audacity of experimenting with bold flavors. But Banana Candles might not be the masterpiece we're craving. It's a quirky relic from the past at best. So, thanks but no thanks, Banana Candles. We'll pass on this peculiar throwback for now.
Creepy Tuna Mold
This is probably one of the creepier dishes we have on the list. Just look at those eyes! The origin of this culinary nightmare remains a mystery. But one thing’s for sure! The inventor had some seriously wild imagination or perhaps a questionable substance.
Who in their right mind would even consider combining tuna, cream cheese, gelatin, and steak sauce to form such a ghastly, supposedly edible fish mold? Let's not forget those piercing eyes that seem to follow you everywhere. Is it a deliberate attempt to give you nightmares or a mere coincidence? We may never know. All we know is the dish is not for the faint of heart.
"Stuffed" Salmon
The mind-boggling fish mold trend continues with this peculiar twist, this time featuring salmon. Feast your eyes on the "Stuffed" Salmon, a dish that pushes the boundaries of culinary creativity. What makes things infinitely worse is the generous smothering of Hollandaise sauce, adding another layer of unappealing aesthetics.
Food doesn’t always have to look Instagram-worthy. But at least try looking nice for the average dinner table? You’ve got to hand it to baby boomers and their food curiosities. Each dish makes you question everything you thought you knew about food, which isn’t necessarily always a good thing because our brains hurt!
The Frosted Ribbon Loaf
Loaves were all the rage in the ’50s and ‘60s! From meatloaf to bread loaves and even salad loaves (yes, you read that right), it seemed like everything had to take on a loaf shape. And today, we're shining a spotlight on another eyebrow-raising creation: the Frosted Ribbon Loaf. We're talking a sandwich with ham, eggs, pickles, horseradish, and of course, omnipresent mayo. Because life would be meaningless without mayonnaise! But there’s more.
This loaf came with a generous slathering of cream cheese, forming a thick, artery-clogging frosting. Just when you thought you'd seen it all, the Frosted Ribbon Loaf emerges from the annals of history. We’re equal parts astounded and repulsed by this one.
Chicken-Cranberry Salad
Chicken cooked with a side of cranberry is quite common. And while Chicken-Cranberry salad might not sound too outrageous at first, wait till you hear the details! This salad, hailing from the 1950s, combines chicken, cranberries, mayo, gelatin, and canned vegetables.
How does one salvage this horror? Maybe a dollop of this salad on a salty and dry cracker might counterbalance the inevitable waves of nausea. The “salad” offers yet another fascinating glimpse into a bygone era, where taste and food preferences defied logic. Baby boomer life was like a box of (strange) chocolates. You really never know what you’re gonna get!
Mayonnaise With Jello
Mayonnaise and gelatin were the stars of many baby boomer recipes. And if you had them on hand, you couldn't go wrong! Enter Knox Gelatin, the ultimate fusion of mayonnaise and Jell-O. How did things get this far? One can only speculate that taste buds of the time hadn't quite evolved.
It's the only logical explanation for this curious concoction. Mayonnaise and Jell-O—truly a mismatch made in retro heaven! And adding color aimed to make these dishes even more attractive. That’s right, the more artificial color the better, they thought. We can almost hear millennials everywhere going to pieces just thinking about it!
Supper Salad Loaf
Remember when we discussed how many baby boomers seemed to love to dishes condensed into loaves? Well, this is probably the dish that put an end to that adoration (thank God). This "salad loaf" is pretty much a hollowed-out slab of bologna, stuffed with the dynamic duo- gelatin and mayonnaise of course, along with smashed peas, and other gross canned veggies.
This is the kind of dinner that makes you realize how blessed you weren't around to "enjoy" all of these great delicacies. It’s the epitome of a dinner gone wrong. Thanks for the ingenuity, but we like our food tasty, with some semblance of culinary sensibilities.
Spaghetti-O Jell-O
Apparently, there's someone out there who hates kids. So much so, they decided to take the only normal food they had, and completely ruin it. And thus, Spaghetti-O Jell-O was born. If you ask us, this gag-worthy baby boomer delight should be considered a form of child abuse.
It's a nightmare come to life, a grotesque experiment gone wrong. Gelatinous masses of spaghetti and tomato sauce, quivering with every spoonful. The texture alone is enough to make you swear off food forever. And the flavor combination? It’s a horrendous clash of sweet and savory no person should be subjected to. Let spaghetti be!
Tuna Upside-Down Casserole
The people at Mid-Century Menu actually had the guts to taste this eerie-looking dish. Their courage deserves applause, even if their taste buds might not agree. Fun fact: this recipe came courtesy of a canned vegetable company called Veg-All and consists of canned vegetables (of course, because why use fresh...?), mayonnaise, cheese, and tuna.
Who needs fresh food when you can crack open a can, right? We're sure this would look the same coming out as it did going in, if you catch our drift. Not all recipes from the past should be resurrected. Some dishes are best left in the depths of obscurity.
Blue Cheese "Mousse"
Culinary experiments such as this should never see the light of day. This...this is horrifying on a number of levels. It's literally gelatinous blue cheese, cottage cheese, and sour cream - with nothing else included. No additional flavors or fancy ingredients to redeem it.
Just a slimy mix of dairy products that somehow managed to find its way onto a plate. And to make things that much more unsettling, the dish is naturally blue. Talk about a visual assault on the senses! We dock our hats to the brave souls who dared to taste Blue Cheese "Mousse" and lived to tell the tale.
Garden Vegetables in Gelatine
Boomers couldn't get enough of their gelatin "delights", sweet, savory, anything jelly-like was welcome on the dinner table. In this case, we have a jellified assortment of mostly unidentifiable canned vegetables. Dinner is served, ladies and gentlemen!
The beauty of this dish lies in its ability to mystify even the most discerning palates. Can you identify every single vegetable within? Probably not. That is part of the charm. Baby boomers and their undying love for all things gelatinous — living their best culinary lives, one gelatin mold at a time. Excuse us while we make a beeline to the bathroom.
Plain Toast
As obnoxious as millennials can be Instagramming their #avocadotoast, what’s infinitely worse is advocating for plain dry toast on lame white sandwich bread. Plain, dry toast is far from a satisfying breakfast. It might be better to go back to bed than wake up to this on the daily.
Even the questionable baked beans on toast that the Brits love seems a tad more appetizing. We’ll take a slightly soggy toast over this cardboard-like monstrosity any day. If you enjoy munching on dry toast, it makes us question whether you’re ok. Who hurt you? And where might we find them?
Dash
Why choose Mrs. Dash when there are entire shelves, stores, and even companies dedicated to spices in this day and age? The iconic Boomer spice blend has stood the test of time. But please, let us retire it already! Sure, this spicy mix might be a flavor bomb. But remember, there's always a catch when it comes to any kind of salt substitutes.
Take a closer look at the ingredients to see what we mean - at least 15 and counting! Chat with your doctor, especially if you're dealing with kidney disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, liver disease, or diabetes. Better safe than sorry.
Meatloaf
Call us millennials picky, but food should taste, feel, look, smell, and sound good. Meatloaf just doesn’t cut it. Baby Boomers may have had their reasons for mixing the odds and ends of meat into an unassuming, unglamorous brown loaf. But we can't help but find meatloaf a tad unappealing.
What's up with that mysterious brown glaze on the outside? Why is there so much oil? And how does it taste so distinctly “brown?” In today's health-conscious world, it's no surprise that meatloaf doesn't quite fit the bill. We get the nostalgia around it, but this one’s a hard pass.
Mayonnaise-Based Salads With Fruit
When we think of salads, what first comes to mind is a vibrant bowl of nutritious veggies, superfoods, nuts, seeds, and protein. Some creamy avocado doesn’t hurt! And, of course, a light and low-fat dressing. Even if you're not overly concerned about your health, it's a truth universally acknowledged that drowning salad in mayonnaise isn’t wise.
Surely, we can’t be the only ones who believe it defeats the purpose of a "salad?" It’s a little wild to imagine how baby boomers ate salads this way. A time when generously slathering broccoli with heaps of mayo was totally acceptable. Our minds are blown!
Savory Jell-O Products
Plain Jell-O might be passable in some situations. Say you have food poisoning, and you’re desperate for some relief. Or, you’re in the hospital when the mere thought of consuming anything else is unbearable. But the monstrosity known as Jell-O salads is hand-down the absolute worst food to have come out of America in the 1970s.
But here's the kicker. "Jell-O for salads" doesn't even contain actual vegetables. Instead, they're flavored with a peculiar imitation vegetable medley seasoning. We're baffled how this trend even began and managed to remain so popular. Jell-O as a substitute for vegetables. Now we’ve seen everything.
Juice From Concentrate
Baby Boomers might raise their eyebrows at the sky-high prices of freshly squeezed juice. Honestly, we get it—nobody should have to shell out $5 for a glass of orange juice. But there are other solutions that won't break the bank - cartons of fresh-squeezed and affordable orange juice available at your local store. It’s a much better option than dealing with the hassle of concentrated juice from a can.
Who remembers those? The process of thawing the concentrate, mixing it with water, and waiting an eternity for it to be ready. Boomers seemingly had plenty of time back in the day. Frankly, it just seems like way more trouble than it's worth. We’re all for the convenience and affordability of store-bought fresh-squeezed juice — a win-win situation for both your taste buds and your wallet.
TV Dinners
In theory, we completely understand the appeal of buying a complete meal all at once. After all, who has the time or energy to spend hours at the store, preparing, cooking, and dealing with the dreaded cleanup? Convenience was the name of the game. It only makes sense to choose a quick and easy solution like prepackaged meals.
The downside is that we now know these processed meals were often not the healthiest choices. But hey, it's what baby boomers grew up eating. Our version of TV dinners? Whip up a quick meal, grab a plate, and settle in front of the TV.
Buffets
Buffets that offer unlimited servings of low-quality fare are always a bad idea. Seriously, why hasn’t the world wised up to this one yet? And we're not just talking about the subpar food choices. There's always that one person who carelessly runs their grubby hands all over the food. Germs and bacteria thrive and multiply in the bins where the food sits.
If food isn’t maintained at the proper temperature, the risks multiply. Food safety experts don't exactly give buffets a glowing endorsement. But if you find yourself at a buffet, proceed with caution. Steer clear of raw vegetables and seafood like your life depends on it.
Chain Restaurants
Millennials have a love/hate relationship with chain restaurants. On the surface, the concept is a stroke of business genius. Opening the same chains in every city creates instant brand recognition, familiar menus, and a plethora of beloved dishes. Plus, let's not forget the appeal of lower prices. In this economy, we’ll take what we can get! But let's peel back the layers and take a closer look beyond the comfort and familiarity.
The food might be budget-friendly, but deep down, we know it's not exactly culinary excellence. The corporations that oversee these chains have a different set of priorities, with profit often taking center stage. Quality, sadly, may not be their top concern. Also, have you ever checked out the nutritional information of the dishes at Applebee's?
Paper Napkins
Boomers, this one is unforgivable. Think of how many paper napkins you have to go through in one meal. Like a bajillion! The oceans are choking, and you’re to blame. New market research suggests that paper napkins are on the decline, and guess who's getting the blame (credit)? You guessed it—millennials.
The age-old tradition of napkins seems to be experiencing a shift, and millennials are at the forefront of the revolution. It seems that people believe paper towels can easily replace paper napkins when the budget is a concern or cloth napkins if environmental worries take precedence. Hopefully, the world will adopt cloth napkins en-masse in due course.
Cornflakes
If you’re a Boomer, chances are that you’re deeply nostalgic for brands like Kellogg's Frosted Flakes K and Hostess. And when Saturday mornings meant plopping down in front of the TV, eyes glued to the screen, and a bowl of cereal in hand. But let's take a moment to talk about the most snooze-worthy cereal to ever grace our breakfast bowls: cornflakes.
Admit it - cornflakes are the epitome of blandness. These toasted, flavorless flakes of corn put up zero excitement for the taste buds. We don’t get the appeal of a sad, soggy puddle of flavorless sorrow in milk.
Canned Soup
It’s clear that Millennials and Boomers have different tastes and preferences. And when it comes to soup, there’s plenty simmering below the surface. Millennials are all about those fresh, farm-to-table ingredients. Boomers tend to reach for the trusty canned variety. Canner soup is ready to eat; no preparation is needed. Millennials crave the taste of freshness, opting for soups made with carefully selected, freshly prepared ingredients.
Whipping up delicious homemade soup is the easiest thing in the world. Why settle for the metallic tang of aluminum? Plus, canned soup is loaded with sodium and packed with preservatives. Not to mention the potential health risks associated with BPA, a common chemical found in canned foods.
Meat and Potatoes
Who needs a balanced diet when you can have a feast fit for a king? The Boomer mantra is more stodge, more meat, more carbs, please! Honestly, who can blame them? This generation lived through war rations, where every morsel counted. Vegetables? What vegetables? Unsurprisingly, this is a Millennial’s worst nightmare.
Meat and potatoes are alright together, and there are surely much worse foods out there. Still, this dish is screaming for fiber - even a leaf of some sort will do. Excessive red meat consumption and starchy carbs are not your best friends. Consider a humble lettuce leaf or two, just to balance things out.
Processed Cheese Products
Does cheese really need to be individually wrapped in plastic? We think not! It's the epitome of wastefulness, and our planet and palates need a revolution. Millennials can’t get enough of cheese boards and the joy of slicing and dicing real cheese. Unsurprisingly, popular processed cheese products have seen a decrease in their sales over the last few years.
Millennials are opting for fresh local cheese with ingredients that they recognize and can pronounce. It's time to give processed cheese the boot. Embrace the unadulterated goodness of the real thing. Make a difference, one glorious cheese board at a time.
Soda
Drinking soda every day, in any weather, at any time, is a slippery slope to a world of dental and health woes. Thanks to a trend started by baby boomers, the world is in the clutches of a serious soda addiction. And it’s time to confront reality and face the consequences.
Whether you call it soda, Coke, or pop, let's be clear - sugary carbonated drinks are killing us slowly. So, soda lovers, kick the habit to the curb and break free from the clutches of excessive sugar intake. Let’s quench our thirst with smarter choices that nourish our bodies and keep us on the path to well-being.
"Italian" Food
Baby boomers love Italian cuisine. But let's set the record straight: what they consider Italian food is far from authentic. Sorry to burst your spaghetti and meatball bubble, but those classics (along with garlic bread) aren't exactly what you'd find on Italian dinner tables. The story of contemporary Italian food is complex. The massive wave of Italian migration to the United States created a unique culinary fusion.
The food cultures of both countries became so intertwined that distinguishing one from the other has become an impossible task. One could argue that the “Italian” cuisine we know and love today is more American.
Bud Light
Apparently, baby boomers had zero interest in drinking good-tasting beer. Instead, they preferred these tasteless cans of we don't even know what. Calling this foul substance beer doesn’t sit right with us. You don't need some fancy beer judge certification manual to figure it out. Just take a sip.
This strange brew barely even registers on the alcohol scale, boasting a measly 4% or 5%. Imagine if they brewed beer in prison. Bud Light would be that sad, watered-down concoction making the rounds. Is it any wonder that Millennials (or all sane persons) are running away from this stuff? We’ll take our craft beers or wine any day; thank you very much!
Ketchup
Condiments reigned supreme during the Boomer years of the 1950s and '60’s. And if you were in America, kitchens and restaurants everywhere relied on three: ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. But everyone knew deep down that the top condiment of choice was ketchup. Boomers slathered ketchup on everything, from scrambled eggs and lunch meats to steaks or pork chops.
As the hamburger became a cultural phenomenon, it was unheard of to have it without ketchup on the side. But times have changed, and we urge Boomers to evolve with it. With the sheer variety of spices and seasoning today, having ketchup with everything is simply criminal!
Vienna Sausage
First of all, meat should never come from a can, alright? It raises immediate red flags, signaling that whatever it's referring to should be avoided at all costs. Let’s not overlook some of the alarming ingredients, from parboiled pork to sheep intestines.
This monstrosity screams survival meal for those braving a zombie apocalypse or the end of the world as we know it. Baby Boomers still find these “sausages” oddly nostalgic or appealing in a bizarre way. We hope this oddity becomes a thing of the past. Fresh meat over weird stuff in a can, any day! It’s a no-brainer.
Tuna Noodle Casserole
It’s no secret that Boomers have a special place in their hearts for canned tuna. And when it comes to canned tuna-based recipes, one dish takes the spotlight: tuna noodle casserole. Tuna noodle casserole. No matter how many times you say it, this stuff just doesn’t make sense.
First, the burning question—why? The combination of egg noodles, canned tuna, condensed soup, and a sprinkle of potato chips defies culinary logic. You don’t need to be a chef to know this. It’s a bizarre, sorry excuse for a legitimate meal. But is it creative? We can think of a hundred other ways to be scrappy about our meals.
Boiled Vegetables
Plain-boiled vegetables can be a snooze fest. Their lackluster taste and texture leave much to be desired. Boiling vegetables also kills many of their nutrients. Boomers, we’ve got the ultimate veggie upgrade for you. Say hello to steamed broccoli tossed in a luscious coat of butter—it's a game-changer. When it comes to flavor and texture, steaming reigns supreme over boiling.
Boiled vegetables tend to end up with a mushy, baby food-like consistency. Where’s the crunch in those vegetables? That beautiful texture? It’s high time we bid farewell to the days of uninspiring boiled vegetables. Embrace the power of steam, or better still, consider roasting or grilling vegetables instead.
Buttermints
Raise your hand if you remember those mysterious candies your grandma used to have lying around. Yes, Buttermints! The strange mints with flavors that dangerously combine of mint and some kind of strange dessert. It’s probably not wise to blend these two distinct flavors in a candy, right? Plus, mints are meant to be a simple, refreshing treat to enjoy after a meal.
Leave it to the baby boomers to introduce an unexpected twist by fusing mint with dessert. And while they might sound like they have plenty of buttery, sugary goodness, buttermints taste terrible. Give us our regular mints any day!
Margarine
In the quest for a healthier alternative to butter, enter margarine. This hydrogenated oil product promised all the creaminess of butter without guilt. Baby Boomers were quick to make the swap. But in trying to emulate the delicious qualities of butter, margarine often incorporates a significant amount of trans fats, which can be incredibly harmful. It’s time to let go of margarine for good!
Why not explore a wide range of healthier alternatives? And when in doubt, ask us Millennials. We have avocado spreads and olive oil. There’s plenty of delicious hummus and nut butter to go around. Toast has never tasted so good!
Watergate Salad
If you thought the Watergate scandal was bad, you probably haven’t heard of the Watergate salad. Cheekily known as Shut the Gate Salad, you really should just shut the gate on somebody if they try bringing this into your home because that is just plain disrespect.
What’s in it? Instant pistachio pudding, canned pineapple, and marshmallows. Oh, and topped with walnuts, if you please! We’re confused and a little repulsed, to be honest. It’s as if baby boomers were on a mission to butcher the concept of a salad. That’s rich, coming from a generation that otherwise insists we eat our vegetables!
Turkey Stuffing
The only acceptable form of stuffing is a toy bear that you're giving to a three-year-old. Definitely, not something you should be putting into your mouth. Stuffed turkey is a crime for several reasons, one of which is the fact that it dries out the turkey. Another reason is that it touches the salmonella and then you're pretty much eating raw turkey juice.
If you simply can't imagine a Thanksgiving meal without the beloved stuffing, consider a compromise. Make the stuffing as a delectable side dish rather than stuffing it inside the turkey. Instead of getting hung up on tradition, let’s prioritize taste and safety this Thanksgiving and always.
Aspartame
Artificial sweeteners like Aspartame promise the taste of sugar without any of the nasty side effects. It sounds like a dream come true, right? Here’s the shocking truth: sugar is actually better for you. Artificial sweeteners wreak more havoc on your health than sugar.
They can mess with your metabolism, impact gut health, and even lead to weight gain. On the other hand, good ol' sugar, when consumed in moderation, is a better option. Remember that moderation is key. Opting for no added sugar is truly the superhero of sweet choices. But Boomers, if you really must, don’t deny yourselves the real deal.
Meat Pate
And the Winner of the Most Unappetizing Food Presentation Award goes to... Meat Pate! Slow claps for this culinary nightmare. We’re equal parts perplexed and repelled, as is the case with most foods from the baby boomer generation. Whether served hot or cold, in pie form or as a loaf – it’s a resounding NO.
What's that on the plate? Why, it's a mysterious gray mass we can’t seem to identify. Is it meat? Is it rubber? Is it food that’s been lying around for a hundred years, maybe? And you’re saying we’re supposed to eat that? You must be joking.
Weenie Sauce
Everyone has their favorite food combinations. Grape jelly with peanut butter? Absolutely delicious. Barbecue sauce on meat? Mouthwatering. But grape jelly and barbecue sauce combined? Now that's just strange. Baby Boomers seem to love it, though.
How much free time did a person have to come up with the idea of mixing these two condiments? Baby boomers were living in a time of prosperity, too. One would think they had left the horrors of war behind, with plenty of food options to satisfy their taste buds. But no, let’s continue subjecting ourselves to bizarre culinary experiments, even if our lives no longer depend on it. Old habits die hard.
Strawberry Bon-Bons
Remember the strawberry bon bons that took the late '80s and early '90s by storm? Those candies were everywhere! It's like they appeared out of thin air, always lingering in stores or teacher's jars — even when you didn't think much of them. They tasted terrible. So, it's astonishing to know they are still around.
We get the nostalgia. It’s kinda sweet. But there’s no reason to live in the past, or worse, hand out strawberry bonbons to kids on Halloween! Do you want your house egged? Because we can tell you that’s what’s going to happen, sooner or later.
Summer Sausage Snack Platters
Summer sausage snack platters, the underwhelming Christmas gift from your boss that you never asked for. It's like they couldn't muster up enough creativity to think of something more exciting. Let's be honest, there are way better gift options out there! This platter was allegedly an acceptable gifting item back then. What’s worse, the sausage platter was "seasonal."
What now? If you need more evidence of how different generations view food and life, look no further. Not only was the food questionable, even gifts managed to take away the little bit of joy left in you. Who gets excited about a platter of summer sausage snacks?
Curly Parsley
Why bother with curly parsley anyway? Are there any recipes where it outshines its more popular, flat-leaf counterpart? Curly parsley has lost its glamour and is now seen as a relic of the 1960s, although a few dishes might have it as a garnish. Curly parsley has a green and slightly iron-like taste, which in itself isn’t too bad.
But it's the coarse texture that turns people off. It needs more chopping effort to work with compared to the smoother flat-leaf variety. Experts suggest finely chopping curly parsley to avoid the unpleasant sensation in the throat caused by its frizzy leaves. But really, do any of us have the time?
Cream Cheese and Bologna Sandwiches
When it comes to food, the baby boomer generation loves its holy trinity of starch, cheese, and meat. But it's still hard to believe there are people who consider bologna a valid form of meat. And worse still, they're pairing it with cream cheese! Cream cheese deserves better than that, alright? Heck, bologna deserves better than this pairing!
It's time to take cream cheese elsewhere, even if it’s on plain old white bread. We suggest leaving bologna behind in the 1960s where it belongs. It’s not the healthiest option for you, even if it might bring back memories of simpler times.
Schwan's Foods
Speaking of food quirks of the baby boomer generation, one name seems to pop up repeatedly: Schwan's Co. This Minnesota-based food company, with its 65-year history, has managed to maintain a rather notorious reputation in the frozen food department.
It started with their frozen pizza inception in 1966. Since then, Schwan's has lived up to its reputation of brands baby boomers just can’t let go of. Sorry, but have you seen the fresh food options available these days? We have elaborate food kits and everything. Frozen pizza gives us the chills. Give us a fresh slice from the local Italian pizzeria down the street any day!
Aspic
Remember when we said Jell-O was bad? Get ready to have your taste buds revolt twice over because we've got something even worse in store for you. Brace yourselves for the horrifying creation that emerged from the depths of the 70s: Aspic.
We can think of a million other food options that don't involve the horrifying combination of meat and gelatin. Aspic is meat suspended in a translucent, gelatinous prison. Don't let the picture fool you into thinking there's something remotely palatable about this horror show. If it comes down to it, choose Jell-O over Aspic. You read that right.
Snackwell's Low-Fat Foods
Fat-free cookies aren't actually healthy, Baby Boomers! Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's time to face the hard reality of your beloved cookies. When a cookie proudly claims to be "fat-free," it has often been heavily processed and loaded with questionable ingredients to compensate for the lack of dietary fat.
While you were indulging in those “guilt-free” treats, your bodies were silently paying the price. It’s high time baby boomers reevaluate their dietary choices unless they want to deal with diabetes and heart disease. Have you fallen into the fat-free cookie trap, or have you found healthier alternatives to satisfy your sweet tooth?
Wonder Bread
White bread has become a symbol of an era where convenience trumped quality. But as we grow wiser, our taste buds yearn for something more. Bread requires more thought and care. To Millennials, it’s a food group in its own right, deserving far more appreciation and reverence. White bread makes us nostalgic, too, we admit. But you’ve got to break free from nostalgia (and mediocre bread) at some point.
Come join us and explore the world of artisanal bread. Nothing compares to bread made from carefully selected grain - from nutty whole wheat to tangy sourdough and everything in between. You’ll never go back to white bread again.
Milk Chicken
You know, when Paula Deen likes to cook up something, you should run the other way. Milk Chicken. The dish is so audacious, so outlandish, it blows our minds. Hailing from the Southern states, Milk Chicken is infamous for being a budget-friendly party food during the winter months. And it’s exactly what it sounds like. Chicken swimming in milk-based gravy. That combination doesn't sit right with us.
We're guessing it won't sit right in the stomach, either! Milk should have its own place in the culinary world—on your cereal, alongside cookies, or even as the star ingredient in ice cream. But transforming it into a gravy for chicken and meat? We're calling it a culinary crime.
Cool Whip
Many of us have fond memories of dipping slices of cake or juicy strawberries in that creamy delight called Cool Whip. Back then, Cool Whip seemed like the perfect guilt-free alternative, with its lower calorie count (especially the fat-free version). But here's the harsh truth: this artificial "whipped topping" comes loaded with unpleasant ingredients, including hydrogenated oils.
This sounds like a job for the Millennials, per usual. You’d better believe we have healthier alternatives! Have you considered turning to the real deal — whipped cream? There’s also the delightful world of cashew or coconut cream for the more adventurous baby boomers.
Molded Liver Pastes
Liver does offer some health benefits for your nerve and immune system health. It helps produce collagen, which helps our bone, joint, hair, skin, and nail health. Liver is also a great source of B vitamins like vitamin B12 and folate. So, we have nothing against liver... in other shapes and forms. There are so many other ways to eat and prepare liver that don't involve making it look as disgusting as it does here.
If you are medically insane and still want the recipe, here you have it; 1 pound liver sausage, one tablespoon lemon juice, one teaspoon Worcestershire sauce, 1 1/4 cup mayonnaise, two teaspoons unflavored gelatin, sliced stuffed olives, pineapple top. You're welcome, and we’re sorry at the same time.