We wish to take you along on this journey of hilarious signs and gobsmacking antics that make this place so unique like no other place on earth. Ladies and gentlemen, things you only see in Australia.
Going Down to the Beach
Over 10,000 sandy beaches are scattered across Australia, making them a must when visiting the continent. Going down to the beach in Australia is like popping down to the post office or taking the kids to school. These sandy carpets are the place to escape to.
We all know the proverb a Beach a Day Helps You Work, Sleep & Play. But coming across a sign like this, with warnings that practically cover every danger in the world, will make you want to go even more. Couldn't they think of other ways to keep the tourists out?
The giant jellyfish is a relatively new fish species (if you insist on calling it a fish). Found lying on the shores of one of the southern Australian beaches, it has not been spotted anywhere else.
You would have thought that such a great creature would be deadly and seriously dangerous, but apparently, the size of this thing is greater than the actual damage it can cause. It may sting like any other jellyfish, but besides that, it can easily be your child's next jelly pet.
Cockroach Racing Championship
We couldn't believe what we were reading either so we felt we had to share this with you. Every country has something it is known, loved, and famous for. Australia is known for cockroach racing. We aren't sure about the "loved for" part but we are pretty convinced about the "famous for."
The annual racing competition for cockroaches is held every year in Brisbane, Australia, and they are actually proud of this event. People literally place serious bets on this thing. Fellow Ozzies, what on earth is happening to you down there?
You Are Welcome
The entrance to your home can be a standard "welcome to David and Sarah's home", or it can be a more sophisticated one, such as "David and Sarah happily live here." If you want to be extra precise on how you want your visitors to call upon their arrival, this is pretty much as good as it gets.
Standing in front of t a sign that says "Coooeeeee before entering" will probably make you stand there for quite a while, trying to figure out what on earth coooeeeing is all about.
Many parts of the land of Australia are mainly... nothing. Under 40% of the land down under is populated by humans, making the rest wild zones. You can travel for miles and miles and see nothing but empty pieces of land.
So to keep your expectations low and maintain your spirit at ground level, Australia has decided to remind you that they don't need much to make their country beautiful. Less is more.
Oz is known for numerous things. Beautiful landscapes, breathtaking views, fascinating animals, and holding the Guinness world record for Christmas lights display. Yes, one of the few places on earth that celebrate Christmas in summer holds this record. Over 500K lights were used for this display in 2013.
Now, we have two questions. The first question is, when did this dude start putting the lights up to be ready for the holiday? And the second question is about the house. How big is this house? Don't rich people have something better to spend their money on other than Christmas lights?
Markering, Marketing, Marketing
Walking along the road on a hot summer's day can sometimes be unpleasant. Walking down the road on an Australian hot summer's day can send you right into the local pub.
No matter how early it is, and no matter if you're behind the wheel later on in the day, when it's as hot as this sign says it is, beer will come first. The marketing team who work for this pub surely did their homework, as no one, and we mean no one, can resist this.
It's Getting Hot in Here
There's hot, and there's hot. Apparently, even the most expensive pair of flip-flops wouldn't stand the Australian heat, so buying some fancy Gucci flops instead of simple Haviannas won't work here.
Australia can become so hot in summer (December-February) that you can fry eggs on the pavement, or literally melt your flip-flops on it. Basically, any cheap rubber thing you own can be melted and reshaped into something new. Always look on the bright side of life.
I Came, I Ate, I Left
Following different depictions in various American films and TV shows, Chinese restaurateurs have built a reputation of being rigorous and in-your-face kind of hosts. If they have something to say, they will just say it. No hinting, no assuming, and no can I buy a vowel.
This buffet festive owner was probably sick and tired of customers helping themselves throughout all hours of the day and decided to put an end to it. You come in, take a seat, enjoy your lunch (or not, but no one is interested in that), and leave.
Are We There Yet?
Traveling with kids, especially for long distances, can be a great challenge. Food and drinks, card games, Simone says, I spy with my eye, and are we there yet are the most common things that keep parents and children occupied throughout the road trip.
After a while, it is us, the parents, who start wondering when on earth are we going to reach our destination; as Simone has said enough and this journey seems neverending. Luckily enough, there are road signs like this along the way, making sure the drivers know that they are still in child entertainment territory.
Last Call for Alcohol
No matter how much the Ozzies try, they will never be able to get rid of their British origins, and these days Australia is still part of the commonwealth. The Brits have left enough landmarks to assure everyone knows, locals and visitors, that the roots of Australia are in the kingdom of fish, chips, and beer.
Going on a drive into the wild desserts with no pub on the way for fueling up can be as dangerous as not drinking at all. God save the queen.
If you want to keep visitors out, just be honest with them. This sign basically says, we don't want you here, ruining our natural environment and littering, so go back to where you came from! It's not yours, it's ours, and if you do decide to enter, you will probably die.
Everything is so politically correct these days that the truth cannot be said out loud and in the open. Ridiculous excuses of cliffs and rocks are made up just to keep us out.
Lizards. Realy Big Lizards
We have taken a moment to dedicate a page to lizards. Enormous lizards. The kind of lizards you can find only down under. Australia is home to five species of these giant lizards, but funnily enough, they have no fear of humans, so they are literally everywhere.
So, forget about snakes, and forget about cockroaches; lizards are the thing. Next time you come across one of these monsters across the street, walk on by.
How many names for the restroom are you familiar with? In Australia, there are several. All English-speaking country visitors have a different way of defining the sacred room, and the Ozzies have decided to adopt them all.
We assume this saves them from answering all day long, where the ladies, Shelias', restrooms, and Loos are. We are familiar with most terms here but can anyone tell me who Dunny is and how he (or she or it) ended up on this list?
This sign was found in the magnificent Uluru nature reserve, but one thing was slightly unclear to us. How are we supposed not to take any photos if we're not supposed to enter in the first place? We are for preserving sacred places and believe that nature must be looked after, but the least these people could do is get their order of appearance right.
Look around. There's nothing there to take a picture of. We don't know the standards of photography in Australia, but where we come from, a little bit of color is required.
The Galleried Snake
We just love the Australians for being so open about what they're going through. Big snakes are widespread in the land of Oz, and you can often find them crawling around town. However, seeing them in galleries or museums is not a sight that you come across very often.
Whoever put up this sign found it very important to share with the potential visitors the reason for the door being locked. Don't you think that a simple sign with "closed, back in 5" be enough? Couldn't they spare us from this scary information?
We all (most of us) care about animals and do everything in our power to protect and not to harm them. All zoos worldwide have signs all over, explaining how important it is to respect requests and not feed or trouble the animals.
Most people find it hard to follow, and packets of chips and cookies are regularly found hiding in the animal's habitat. This zoo owner decided to take it one step further. Not only will the animal be sick because of eating junk, but the animal is most likely to eat you. Stay away!
A B C Drivers
What we are most afraid of when seeing this sign is that most drivers won't understand what the letter W stands for. So instead of concentrating on the road, they will start working those brain wheels, trying to figure out what the W in Australia means. Well, what the W means and what the anchor is doing there.
What does W-anchor mean anyway? Oh wait... we think we get it. Either that or it means being a wallaby of a driver. Must be the other thing. Country road, take us home.
What more has to happen to this world, so we understand that global warming is not a joke? Our planet's climate has been a huge topic in all global conferences and constantly remains at the top of the agenda. Rain in summer, severe floods, and unexpected volcano eruptions are just a few examples of what global warming is all about.
The winters are getting colder and shorter, the summers are getting hotter and longer, and the signs across the land of Australia are getting outdated.
Many things in Australia can kill you, and this giant pinecone is one of them (if it happens to fall on you). This pinecone is so big that no other country could fit it, so it is unique to Australia. This giant cone is grown on the Bunya Pine tree, the tallest of which was reported to reach up to 169 feet.
Children worldwide (at some stage in their childhood life) collect (amongst others) pinecone for fun. Now please clarify — do Australian children have to ask their parents to pick up the cone, or do they manage to drag it home alone?
It's All Down to Budgets
If you are entitled to vote in Australia, the next time there are elections, remember this picture. It looks as if the local authorities are not doing much to maintain and upgrade the roads. Instead of repairing and making them safer for driving, they found it easier to blame the government and sit back while sipping their cold beer.
We bet that's what they're doing as there is nothing else to do in this apparent middle of nowhere.
Koalas Are Everywhere
Being home to so many unique species of animals, Australia is where koalas originate from. These cuddly and sweet marsupials are found mainly on the continent's east coast, making them close to human-populated areas.
As humanity has invaded their habitat, there is no reason to be surprised when coming across a koala sitting on top of a car. This is part of living close to nature. Love koalas? Love them all the way.
Reality changed tremendously for us humans in 2020. A change of rules concerning what is acceptable and what is not has been set and is expected to be respected everywhere when meeting people. In Australia, they have taken this one a step forward, assuring we keep our distance from one another, using our kangaroo friends as a measuring tool.
Now, how are we supposed to know who is an adult amongst the kangaroos? Don't they have small kangaroos, tall kangaroos, midget kangaroos, and some kangaroos that don't believe in social distancing?
The Australians are not known for being hard workers and seem to always be on the look for another reason to go down to the beach (between you and me, they've got it right, it's us that are doing it wrong being obsessed with working five days a week).
Looking for an excuse to take a day off is a job on its own. The road workers of this town just managed to crack that morning blues and gave us a spontaneous day off to cherish.
Here Goes That GPS Again
How often have you traveled calmly to the sounds of your favorite band, expecting to reach your desired destination, only to realize that either the road is under construction, or even worst — closed? We knew it. The GPS is not sometimes wrong; it is always wrong.
The Australians are so laid back, they probably just U-turned and looked for the alternative root. For us foreigners, these kinds of signs can be quite annoying. We wish to thank the GPS for helping us waste even more of our time with this lousy technology installed.
Selfie the Street
They seem to be intended for children only, but no. These signs are for us mature citizens as well. These sorts of signs should be placed everywhere. Before we start eating our dinner in the restaurant, before a concert begins, before sipping our first cup of coffee, and before you close your eyes and drift off into no smartphone land.
In the past, children were taught to look left and right; today, they are trained to lift their heads. How ridiculous have we become? This is a reminder just so you stay alive. Cross, then post.
Australians feel it is indispensable to emphasize and highlight their famous local inventions. Here is a classic example of what happens when they take it a little too far. UGGs are known to be winter's best friend. Besides being really comfortable, they do their work when it comes to warming up our feet, but there is no other word in putting this; they are hideous.
So not only did the Ozzies place a gigantic statue of UGG boots in the center of town, they went along and painted them, so there is no chance you miss them. Bliss.
Beer Holder Trolley
How educational is this? Need to go shopping? Ran out of goodies for entertaining your friends in the middle of the party? No worries. The supermarket's trolly will allow you to continue the party while you stock up for some more.
Now we assume that the original purpose of this bottle holder was to hold a baby's bottle or a bottle of water at the most. Not surprisingly, though, the locals took advantage of the situation and turned it into a beer supporter.
Not All Hamburgers Have an M
Bazz probably was affected by the big M opening down the road, but one thing is for sure, he knows exactly what he's selling. No fast food will come between him and his customers. No fast food will come as a threat to him anymore.
What's nice about this sign is that Mr. Bazz acknowledges that Macdonald's indeed does sell low-quality food and has literally ruined the meaning of a hamburger. If you want a Big Mac, go to Macdonalds. If you want a real burger, stick with Bazz.
Cops and Robbers
So do they actually arrange shifts together, or do they find out who they have been paired with when they arrive at the office in the morning? Another nice thing about this is that the local authorities even took the time to emphasize how important it is for them to work together in partnership to prevent crime.
We know that things work differently in Australia. We know that you have to be a native to fully understand what is going on Down Under, but is the police sure that thieves are the best partners for this?
Cats and Dogs
The world is divided into two — dog people and cat people. Many young couples decide to adopt (or buy) a dog before settling down and having children. Apparently, there is something about caring for a dog that prepares you for parenthood (only people who don't have children will believe this). Cats are a totally different story.
They don't really bother, and as long as they are fed, they care about nothing. They seem to resemble teenagers. Those ungrateful humans closed in the room and peek out to see what's served for dinner.
Getting a divorce is never a pleasant episode in one's life. Besides the broken hearts usually linked to this chapter, it can involve ugly episodes of who's taking what. Whoever posted this leaflet wanted to shorten that episode in life and decided to leave the ex with as little as possible.
We think that this should definitely be part of every divorce agreement. No matter what happens to the house, car, expensive stereo system, the rest of the joint belongings (including the kids under the age of 18) should be displayed in a garage sale.
The Christmas Tree
After seeing this picture, you lose the right to complain about the size of your Christmas tree, the quality of your presents, and the whole event of Christmas in your household. Being in the south half of planet earth, the seasons are reversed, turning the summer months of June, July, August into winter, and December through to February into summer.
In Australia, Christmas is celebrated on the 25th of December like in the rest of the world; however, this falls in the summertime, when it can get scorchingly hot. Leave behind the Christmas trees, and bring out the fans.
No one is afraid of a bit of hailstone unless it grows spikes, and then you better run for your life. Australia's hailstones are like no other, and they are just as great as everything else about this land. The largest hailstone seen to this day is over five inches in size, making it as big as an iPhone 7.
If these rocks were to keep themselves to isolated areas, or dark and gloomy woods, we could cope, but these monsters fall in populated cities, they might break windows or cause some other damage.
You should always carry a water bottle with you, especially in Australia when the weather can get terribly hot. When strolling down the road with your dog, it's great to come across a bowl of water intended for them, as they need water as much as we do, and sometimes even more.
It was really heartwarming to see that people are considerate of other people's needs. God didn't create us all the same, and whoever put up this board acknowledged that. However, we do have one question, do you think the dogs will mind?
When you reach a certain age, you are presented with sexual education, if not by your parents at home then by your teachers. Adam and Eve, the birds and the bees — these are all part of this fascinating experience the younger generation goes through.
As for us, we think we know it all, and we seldomly forget the rules that stand behind these facts of life. We need a reminder of what might happen in case we're not careful. The ones responsible for this sign didn't want to leave any room for misunderstanding. You drink? You pay!
Don't Feed the Kids
Does this sign mean don't feed the alligators with your kids? Or does it mean alligators really enjoy playing with kids? Or maybe it's simply a sign to indicate that if you've had enough of your kids, the alligators will be happy to have them?
The signs in the zoo (we are assuming this was seen in a zoo) really have to be more accurate and better explained. The last thing we need is to be sued for feeding the animals.
Caught in Australia, this sign could actually work anywhere on earth. Modern days have brought wonderful technology upgrades to many household devices and communication technologies, making the world a smaller place for us all.
However, the price we pay for having these privileges may seem too high sometimes. People have forgotten how to verbally approach, read a newspaper, and not depend on a five-inch-long device. This sign may seem at first like a warning, but within no time, you'll realize what a wonderful gift you are receiving. You're welcome!
Hiding in the Woods
Have you ever been lost in the woods, with no idea where the way out is? Well, if you happen to be in an Australian forest, and if you happen to lose your tracks, no worries. You won't be able to get too far.
You won't be able to trespass here, and by the looks of it, if you do, you won't be able to leave in one piece anyway so it's best to just accept your destiny. Do yourself a favor, stick to the main road.
This basically covers how the Australians feel about their politicians (we will dismiss the fact we all feel the same about politicians no matter where we live). Being referred to as an elephant or a donkey really summarises how we see our elected officials.
It doesn't really give them a chance to justify their actions in government, but what can you do? A politician is a politician. Next time you come across a sign like this in Australia, remember — no politics. Only weather, beer, and kangaroos.
Park on the Safe Side
Not everyone is so strict. Many people understand the rules were made to be broken and that sometimes in life, you have to expand your horizon and acknowledge that we can't always live by what society expects from us. Just like in this prime example right here.
This sign is clearly there to emphasize exactly that. No matter where you park your car, whether your block an entrance or block another car, your car will be absolutely fine.
Australia's national symbol is spread all over the land by the millions. They seem like pleasant animals to be around. The kangaroo is the biggest marsupial on earth today, with many species that we are mostly unfamiliar with.
After reading this sign, we can understand how the Australians managed to preserve the kangaroo mobs and how they manage to look after this precious animal. They just let it do its thing and make sure it has the privacy for it.
Education, Education, Education
Don't waste your time educating your kids, teaching them manners and common courtesy if you're going to end up leaving them behind. We know it's tempting. We spend too much time trying to turn our little monsters into polite adults with acceptable dietary habits and polite language. It can all be thrown down the drain in no time.
It won't be worth it. Go get them back. They will return eventually, though only God knows in what condition.
Keep Out of the Sun
No matter how often we hear how important it is to be safe in the sun, it still doesn't work. No matter how often we are reminded that sunglasses, long sleeve shirts, a hat, and sunblock are mandatory (with the way this planet is going), we still embrace those suntanning hours and feel better and healthier (which we're not) when we are colored bronze.
The people responsible for this sign decided, that enough is enough. If you don't match the shade of this sign, you're good. (Except you aren't.)
This kind of sign wasn't around when we were young and foolish. The number of times we climbed fences (legally and illegally) to help ourselves to the neighbor's orange tree or to shorten the way to school, is something everyone has in their memory box.
Climbing fences and climbing trees is all part of growing up. Except for this fence. This sign doesn't leave much room for imagination. You climb, you die!
Lost and Found
Instead of publishing missing people on milk cartons or in the lost and found newspaper section, Australians have come up with a unique and original way of asking citizens to participate in police activities and search for missing souls.
By the looks of this photo, the area seems to be isolated, like a dessert of some sort, so we are finding it hard to understand where exactly the searches are supposed to take place. If you find anyone, let us know. Maybe they'll have the answer.
Under the Sea
It's no secret that a slippery road is a dangerous road. We know that it's important to change the tires and ensure the car's wiper blades are in shape and ready for winter. What we're not prepared for is this sign.
We wish they would have come up with something better to explain how dangerous the road is underwater. Is it a generic slippery situation or something that calls for an actual boat?
21st-Century Illegal Substances
In our late teens or early twenties, we all tried a little liquor or shared one cigarette with our friends at our prom night. We were good kids, trying (out of curiosity) bad things. Today, in the 21st-century, things have changed.
They have now managed to combine the wine with the cigarettes so that the teenagers won't be exposed to things one at a time. All they have to do is try smoking the wine, and then they can proudly say that they have done their share of illegal substances for life.