This list might not help you survive if you were to find yourself in that situation, but it might make you laugh! So, sit back, enjoy, and maybe don’t add these items to your list.
Rupert Holmes Approved
If you’re going to be on a deserted island, might as well make a holiday out of it. That’s exactly what this Reddit user was thinking when they wanted to bring along their favorite drink: pina colada.
We just hope this person likes getting caught in the rain, and has half a brain, because the pina colada may not help them find shelter, but it will make the experience a little bit sweeter.
They Called Dibs
Hmm. Is it just us or does a flimsy sign claiming ownership over an island seems like the opposite of foolproof?
It would just take one other castaway washing up on the shore with their own sign laying claim to the island to create some chaos. Also, if there is no one else on the island, what would it help this person to own it?
Costco Castaway
To be honest, we didn’t think about bringing a Costco to a deserted island, but it would give you everything that you need: food, shelter, and water. You could walk up and down aisles all day, get out of the sun when you need to, and order all the dollar hotdogs and sodas you want.
We only hope that this person remembers to bring their membership card because it would suck to get all the way there and then be turned away at the door for forgetting your card.
Striking a Chord
Might as well learn a new talent while you’re on the deserted island, so why not learn to play the guitar? It is a fun instrument to play, and we bet anyone who dedicates that many hours to playing would be pretty good if they ever got rescued!
Be sure to pack a couple of extra strings and a tuner while you are out there. It would suck to be playing and then have a string snap without having a way to repair it. On the bright side, it could double as firewood if you can't fix it.
Blondie
Should we bring Debbie Harry, or should we go? Well, this person wants to bring the founder and lead singer of “Blondie” with them to the deserted island.
We are sure it would be nice to have some company, and if you are even a little musically inclined, she would be an amazing person to duet with. Just don’t fall in love especially if you have a heart of glass. It will shatter.
Cast Away Again
What better person to be stuck on a deserted island with, than the person that has experience being stuck on a deserted island, Tom Hanks!
We are sure we could tap his brain for ways he survived. If our volleyball floats off as we are escaping, one of us can steer the ship, while the other saves our precious friend. No person will be left behind!
Pooping in Privacy
Everyone wants to poop in privacy, so why not bring that luxury to an island?
We guess they would rather poop in a box above ground than a hole in the sand, and we can't blame them. We must say that having seen our fair share of porta potties in our lives, a hole in the ground is sometimes a way more hygienic option...just saying.
Tequila, Tequila, Tequila
This person obviously doesn’t want to remember their time on the deserted island because the first thing they thought of bringing was a bottle of tequila, salt, and lime.
Party it up, and enjoy your time on the island. It might be the last time you can, but on the bright side, hangovers don't hurt after someone croaks, or at least, so we've heard.
Bringing the Bear Necessities
We remember watching “Man Vs. Wild” as children, so why not bring THE Bear Grylls, the man who taught us how to survive in the desert by sleeping inside a camel carcass?
You may not have any experience surviving in nature, but he sure does. Let's just hope the made for tv survival show wasn’t a large farce... because if it was, this person is screwed!
Medicinal Music
If you have ever read “The Martian” you understand how important music can be to someone stranded alone. It can raise your mood, distract you from your thoughts, and give you something to sing along to.
Make sure you like whatever music you load up on your MP3, otherwise, you may end up like Mark Watney, listening to a genre you hate for the remainder of your days there.
We've Found Our Beach
This person wants to bring a cooler full of Coronas because they have found their beach. Give us a lawn chair and good company, and we will join them in a heartbeat.
If we are going to be on a deserted island, we might as well enjoy our time there. We have to look at the glass half full, and we want that half full with beer.
Snail Time
We racked our brains to figure out why this person wanted to bring a snail with them to the deserted island, and we may have a few guesses...
First, they may be French and want to eat escargot while there. Second, they may have wanted a pet to keep them company. Or third, they may want someone who knows how to take things slow and relax.
Do It Like Dora
This Redditor must have watched a lot of Nickelodeon growing up because the first thing they thought about bringing to their deserted island was Dora The Explorer’s Backpack.
We mean it held anything she needed and even things she didn’t, so maybe it's not a bad idea after all. You could call Backpack any time of the day, and it would have your...back!
Minions Mania
Minions have been cult figures since they appeared on the big screen in “Despicable Me.” They are cute, yellow, and will help you out whenever you need them. Which might be extremely helpful if you’re on a deserted island.
You will always have a helping hand, someone to talk to, and company to be with. We're just not sure how you'd get a bus to the island...
One Walmart Please
This person is trying to cheat the system by bringing an entire store with him to his deserted island. Yes, you will have food, water, and shelter, but you miss the best part about Walmart, the people watching!
Who are you going to take pictures of and make fun of if there is no one else in the store? By default you will become the person of Walmart, then you are obliged to take photos and roast yourself on the internet.
Laser Focus
This is not your office laser pointer, no, this is a behemoth that can blind you in a second if you stare at it.
We guess this person either wanted to make the best PowerPoint presentation or flag down the next plane crossing overhead. Either way, it will give them something to do with their time. Have fun with your laser!
The Love of Your Life
If we had to go to a desert island, why not bring your partner? You will have someone to talk to, work together with, and grow old with.
Plus, this experience should bring you both closer as a couple, and who doesn’t want that? We like to think of this as an extended honeymoon where you grow as a couple whether you want to or not.
The Rolling Flint Stones
"Flint stones" We really wish this person specified what they meant by wanting to bring "Flint stones." Well, there are two interpretations.
Option 1: they are huge fans of the cartoon show "The Flintstones" and wanted to bring the episodes with them. Option 2 they want to bring flint, a.k.a nature's firestarter. While option 2 seems more likely, option 1 is just way more fun!
For All Circus In-Tents and Purposes
We are thinking outside the box with this one, but if you were to bring a three-ring circus it’s not as crazy as it initially reads.
One, you get a big tent to shade yourself from the sun. Two, you get a swing to keep up your physical health. And three, if you need food, you have an entire zoo full of animals to cook up for your next barbeque. Yes, outside the box thinking, but who’s the crazy one now?
Wax on, Wax Off
This person would love to bring their copy of “The Shaolin Martial Arts Manual,” with them to their deserted island. Might as well become one with your chi with all the free time you will have.
Plus, if you do encounter a bear, we will be able to fight it off with our ...bare... fists. What will you do after you finish the book though? Might need to bring more than one book with you!
Journaling Your Journey
If we are going to be stranded on a deserted island, might as well document our time there. Who knows, if you get rescued you may have a bestseller in your hands.
Watch out for “Deserter on the Deserted Island” coming to a bookshelf near you soon. Of course, most likely it isn't even going to be worth publishing, but if you won't try, you'll never know.
Wilson, I’m Sorry
If we can’t have a person to come with us we dang sure are going to bring a volleyball.
We need something to talk to, and if Tom Hanks could keep his sanity by talking to one while he was a castaway, it should also work for us. At the very least you could play a game of catch...against yourself.
All the Colors
We haven’t touched a kaleidoscope since we were kids, but this person has it on his list of things he would take to a deserted island.
We think we would get bored using it. It’s not that we don’t like the pretty colors, but we don’t see much alternative use either. But, if they like it so much feel free to bring it, we just don’t see the point.
Thanks for the Memories
Forget scrapbooking your birthday or a recent vacation. That's so basic. Instead, scrapbook your deserted island adventure.
It will help you pass the time, and one day you can look back on the photos and remember all your "fond" memories as you struggled to survive on this deserted island. Just make sure to bring a camera as well, otherwise, you'll have nothing to scrapbook.
The Island’s Handy Man
This doer wants to get more done and plans to bring the home repair giant, Home Depot, to a deserted island. If they are not a handyman, they would soon learn. They will have enough time to train.
Plus, we can’t let that lumber go to waste. They can become the next Henry David Thoreau in “Walden,” living simply and building their own cabin in the woods. They just need to remember to keep an itemized receipt so they know how much it cost to build everything. It would make Thoreau smile.
A Suitcase Full of Books
This is an answer we can get behind! We love our books, and you can fit a lot of books inside a suitcase; Probably over 100.
Will the books last for you entire lifetime? Probably not. But, they will help pass the time. Think about being on a deserted island with no wifi, you would rather get lost in books than lose your mind from boredom.
Arm Candy
This would actually be a really great thing to bring if you didn’t have to carry it yourself. You could set up your own muscle beach on your deserted island, and get shredded while watching the waves roll in.
Bringing this would also mean you wouldn’t have to build dumbbells out of coconuts. The only problem that we predict is that by the time you'll get back home, your arms will be ripped, but you'll look like you missed a lot of leg days.
Sci-Fi Sorted
This is definitely the best book in the series, although the first half is very... dry (you know, because it's set on a desert planet...).
Be prepared though! The next five books in the series get weird and spoilers… it ends with someone’s great-great grandchild turning into a hybrid worm-man. But, it's still a good choice, we think the Litany Against Fear might come in handy when deserted on an island.
Gummy A Big Bear Hug
We suppose there is some logic to this answer. You'll have an endless supply of food. Your blood sugar may not like your diet, but you won't starve.
We hope you don’t get the sugar-free ones though. If you do, then we hope you also brought a toilet with you too because they are known to go right through you. Good luck!
A Master Debator
Honestly, it would be annoying to be stuck on a deserted island with someone who always agrees with you. We want a challenge that makes us think about our world differently and is intelligent enough to make coherent arguments.
Let's just hope that the arguments remain as arguments and don't get upgraded to fist fights! Still, to us it sounds like arguing with someone non-stop would be a headache.
A Very Platonic Friend
If you can't bring your partner or need some time away from them, then bringing a friend is a great option too. You get all the benefits of having someone with you without any of those romantic feelings to complicate things.
You two will just be hanging out on an island together being friends; strictly platonic. If feelings do come up best of luck because if y’all do break up it could become very awkward on the deserted island together...
Key Item
Does this person just want to bring a keyboard with them? We hope it is connected to a computer or some sort of device, otherwise, they will just be tapping on keys with nothing happening.
If it is connected to a computer we would love that too. We have been meaning to write our award-winning novel, and being on a deserted island will be the perfect place to get it done.
Sky Surfer
If we were stuck on a deserted island we would also love a hovercraft. Granted, it might not get us back to the mainland, but it would allow us to scout out the area.
We could find fresh water, map out shelter areas, and find food more easily. We just hope it’s solar-powered because if it’s gas we might only have a few trips in us, and we have no way to refuel it.
A Hitchhiker Never Travels Without One
According to the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a towel is one of the most important things you can carry in the universe.
It can keep you warm, lie on it, sleep under it, be used as a sail, be waved in an emergency, and you can even use it to dry yourself off, if it seems clean enough.
Medieval Much?
Who needs a pocket knife when you can bring a sword to your island? It does all the cutting the knife does but in a sword package.
Imagine swinging that thing above you as you chop through the thick brush of the island jungle. You'll be clearing the path for your next go-through. Is it the most efficient? No, but it’s a sword and that is a pretty cool thing to have regardless of whether you are on a deserted island or not.
Drink Service
This hunk can bring us drinks whenever he likes. The actor is known for his roles in tv’s 2005’s “Elvis” and History Channel’s “Vikings” and has eyes as blue as an Antarctic glacier.
We could stare at him all night if he was serving us little drinks with umbrellas in them. Soon enough we'd forget that we were stranded on an island!
Some Light Reading
To be, or not to be? That’s the question this person asked before packing their entire hardback collection of the works of William Shakespeare.
That is over 180 works including 38 plays and 150 poems. If you wanted to bring these works with you too, remember to bring a skull. Hamlet’s monologue isn’t as good without it. Also. maybe it's better to opt for a paperback edition? It will be less heavy.
Game.Set.Match
We guess a tennis court would be cool to bring as long as we also got the equipment and a partner to play against.
Now if we were to suggest a sport to bring with you to your deserted island it would be golf. You can play it solo, always have a challenge, and you would get a nice daily walk.
Charming Chefs
We need to eat what we catch on our deserted island, so we agree that having a chef there would be helpful! We don’t need them to be good-looking like this person suggests either.
As long as they can cook a mean stew or our vegetables to the perfect tenderness we will be happy. If they also, by accident, do look good, we won't complain.
Cupids Favorite Instrument
Everyone has their favorite instrument, and for this person, they wanted to bring their harp with them to the deserted island.
It would be fun to play your own music for the dinner parties for one you host on the island, plus classical music has been shown to reduce stress and increase calmness. Both of those will come in handy as we come to the realization that we are stuck on a deserted island with no way to escape...
Bikini Island
Hey, if we were going to be stranded on a beach, we would want to look good too. It’s not for anyone else; we are doing it for ourselves.
What’s wrong with looking pretty if no one is around? It’s called self-love people! Plus, if we were ever to escape, which will be the sailors be more excited to see? A person in tattered clothes, or us in our swimsuit?
This One is Neat
This item might have us singing the blues after drinking a few glasses, but what else do you expect after being marooned on an island?
We'll need a guitar, and a how-to sing the blues book to go along with it and by the end of our time on the island, you will be calling us the next B.B. King.
Ain’t No Mountain Bike High Enough
A mountain bike would be a great item to bring to your deserted island. Hopefully, it’s hilly, and you could get some gnarly runs in.
It’s a great mode of transportation, it helps you get exercise, and it can help you explore the island. We had not thought about bringing one initially, but this person may have changed our minds.
Nailed It!
Honestly, we can only imagine how gross our nails would get if we were stranded on a deserted island. Yes, we could bite off our fingernails to keep them short, but what about our toenails? BLEGH!
Nail clippers would solve both of those problems, and give us a little more hygiene than we would have otherwise. We can certainly get behind that.
Wine O'Clock
Almost everyone we know loves alcohol, and this person is no different. This is yet another person who doesn’t want to part with their alcohol if they were stuck on an island. We can’t blame him though, we thought about bringing our wine too.
What else would we drink as we set up our personal desalination factory on the island? Not the seawater that’s for sure!
Monkey Madness
This suggestion comes from a kid whose parents asked him what he would bring with him to a deserted island.
His logic is pretty sound too. If you have him trained, you could have the monkey climb the trees, offer a helping hand, and be company while staying on the island. Yes, it’s unconventional, but the best ideas usually are!
The Toy that Always Returns
We think a boomerang might have been a better choice over a Frizbee. While a Frizbee is a great beach toy for two, it gets boring by yourself.
A boomerang on the other hand always comes back to you. You can have fun throwing it and watching it return. You could even study how it works and build your own. So while everyone is entitled to their own opinion...just pack a boomerang over a frisbee.
Hang Around
This person didn’t want just any old hammock, they wanted a SUPER NICE one. We can only assume that means it has air conditioning, a mosquito net, and built-in wifi.
Simply give us two trees close enough that we can hang some rope from, and we will be happy deserted island campers. Still, we would also need some type of protection from the elements, so we would add a tent to this hammock.
Card Covered
American Express’ slogan is “Don’t live life without it,” and this person took that to heart because they didn’t want to be stuck on their deserted island without their card.
Granted it will not help them buy anything, on account of not having a banking system on the island, but they could use it as a bookmark for their favorite book.
Pirate Party
Ahh, so you have heard of him. This might not be a bad person (or uhm pirate) to bring with you either. We mean, we personally don't consider him a good influence, but who are we to judge?
However, if you chose to bring Jack Sparrow with you, you'll need to have a large supply of rum to keep this pirate in good spirits...
Deadpool?
We don’t know how much survival experience Ryan Reynolds has, but he will at least keep your time on the island entertaining.
He will be sarcastic and witty, and if you get bored, you can close your eyes and imagine Deadpool is chatting with you. There could be worse celebrities to be stuck with, so if you get Ryan Reynolds,it could be worse!
The Bedtime Essentials
This might be one of the best and most underrated answers we have read. So simple yet so important.
As we have gotten older, our time sleeping on the ground has diminished. If for some reason we do sleep on the ground, our back is out of alignment, and it will be a week before we adjust it back into shape. A bed would fix all of that!
Cheers!
We don’t remember a champagne bottle that needs a corkscrew, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing to bring. While it's not the best one out there, a corkscrew could still double as a weapon.
You could use the champagne to celebrate your arrival on the island, though, you would have no one to celebrate it with. You will probably end up sad and drunk.
What are Your Three Wishes?
"This one might backfire on you because genies are notorious tricksters. Despite what Disney's "Aladdin" led us to believe, genie's don't have your best interest at heart.
They typically take your wish and find a sneaky loophole to give you what you want, but always with a catch. Or many times, you learn that what you wanted comes with a whole new set of problems you've never thought about.
Gotta Catch 'Em All
We grew up on pokemon, so this answer hits close to home. We would also love to have the latest pokemon game with us if we were ever on a deserted island.
We could take our time and "CATCH 'EM ALL." Yeah, it may take a while, but we have all the time in the world out there... Still, we assume there's no electricity on this island, so how would you charge your console?
An Item that Blows
We just hope you don’t cause a forest fire with your blow torch. Yes, it would be cool to shoot flames out of your torch, but they aren’t the most selective in what they hit.
If you use them to start a fire, great, go ahead. If you are using it just for fun, you have been warned. Being on a deserted island sucks, but being on a burnt deserted island sucks even harder!
A Catty Island
We laughed when we saw this response. Not because it is not useful, but because we had never thought about it before. If we did populate the island and had feral cats roaming around - would it be a dream or a nightmare?
You would have a bunch of little furball predators bringing you prey and endless entertainment, but you'll also have hairs and scratches all over you.
Ridiculous Roomba
A Roomba? This person wants a Roomba there? We hope it is good at cleaning sand off of sand because there are no indoors on a deserted island.
The worst part about this answer is that there aren’t other ways to utilize this machine as it is. At least with a broom, you could use it to poke things that are far away or use it as protection. Good luck throwing the Roomba at a predator chasing you.
Desert on a Deserted Island
This person just wants three custard creams; that is it. For anyone who is unfamiliar with what they are, they are shortbread cookie sandwiches with cream in the center; similar to Oreos.
We wonder why they don’t want a full package or more than three. Those won’t last more than a day, and after that, you won’t have any more food. Maybe this person just wants one last taste of civilization before accepting their tasteless fate on the deserted island.
MacGyvering the Island
This man could literally find his way out of anything with a paper clip, a tissue, and sheer determination. Why not bring him to the deserted island with you?
He could help you turn some bamboo, a coconut, and a leaf into a four-story mansion in an afternoon. The only question is, what will you do for all of the other afternoons forever after?
Their Favorite Mug
This person may have brought the most useful item that we didn’t think about. A mug has so many uses.
It can hold water, double as a container, and be used to catch water after rainfall. Granted you won’t be having your morning coffee in it, but with all the added benefits the mug gives you, you should take that trade-off.
Wilson’s Backup
If we can’t befriend a volleyball, a soccer ball will do. It does everything a volleyball does just in a bigger package and in a pentagon/hexagon cover.
We will have to call our friend Adidas because they do make the best soccer balls in the world, but we don't like that name better than Wilson. What would one do all alone with no one to catch their football? This person will have the rest of his life to figure it out.
Bean There
This person has simple wants and needs, just one can of beans. Only one?! We would at least get a month’s supply if we are going to a deserted island.
We know they are good for your heart and "the more you eat the more you fart, the more you fart, the better you feel, and we want to eat beans for every meal." But, with only one can it will only be one meal, and we can’t live like that!
Oil No!
What is this person going to do with 100 liters of baby oil?! Maybe they didn't get the memo that baby oil is actually not a good tanning lotion?
We suggest anyone thinking of this item reconsider because you definitely will need some sunscreen while on that deserted island. If you don't use sunscreen your skin will look like a pair of worn leather boots in less than a year.
The Crowning
This person could not live without the drama about the reign of Queen Elizabeth II if they were going to be stuck on a deserted island.
We can’t blame them, the show is very entertaining, and if you haven’t seen it, it is worth a watch. We just hope they also bring a DVD player to go along with their set!
Toxic!
We have so many questions on why this person only wants to bring a single piece of poison ivy.
What could it be used for? Why do they need it? We have an itch that we want to scratch, but without more information, we can reach it. We guess we will just have to suffer with this rash on our brain!
The Future Generation
This person really wants to raise their very own Mogli or Tarzan on their deserted island. The child can become one with nature, and befriend all of the island’s creatures.
Maybe one day they can learn about the bear necessities and star in their own movie. Until then, it will be this person's job to keep the kid safe! If you thought raising children is hard, try raising them on a deserted island.
A Golden Goose
We would have preferred a chicken, but a goose will do. We will just imagine it as a bigger chicken. They can lay eggs, honk at you, and if you get them from when they are little, they will also imprint on you.
We would love to have a goose as a companion. With their eggs, we would always have food to eat, and we're also sure they will make a loyal little friend.
Catch a Tan!
This person is obviously joking, or at least we hope so. Yeah…this seems like a great item to bring. It’s not like you'll have an entire beach to yourself to tan on, might as well bring the item that weighs you down even more.
The only thing we could think of that would be less useful would be a bag of sand...
See the Sea
A snorkel and mask would come in handy on a deserted island. We wouldn't want our eyes to burn from the seawater when we look for fish, so these would be great for that.
Imagine how many fish and coral you will be able to see with these on. We hope this person also packed their flippers because then he might not want to leave this island even if a boat comes to rescue him.
Relaxing with Your Beer
Who wouldn’t want a cold six-pack while sitting on the beach? Yeah, it’s deserted, but when was the last time you had no one around to bother you?
We don’t know what could be more relaxing than that and a cold one. Maybe a tv with Netflix, but on a deserted island that wouldn’t be much help either. Crack open a cold one and enjoy your private oasis.
Pork and Nuggets
We need more pigs and chickens in our life, and we would love to bring them to our deserted island.
Not only are they smart animals and great companions to hang out with, but they also offer a steady state of food while you are there. Can’t wait to get to the island with our endless supply of eggs and bacon.
A Catholic Catch
If you do bring the Pope with you, it is not the worst idea. Especially if you want to get off the island as soon as you can.
You will be with one of the most popular people in the world, and he will have an entire team looking for him when he goes missing. So, if you are near him, that will be your ticket off the island.
Ice Ice Baby!
Why!? What are you going to freeze that ice with? This tropical island you’re on did not come equipped with a fridge!
We guess we could use it to collect water, but even then it will be extremely hard to drink from. Best of luck with your item choice and hopefully you are more creative with it than we are.
A Ford Siesta
We suppose a car with an empty tank could be very useful. It comes with many parts and electronics to modify for other purposes.
A radio to communicate with. A battery and wiring to turn into a generator, and even light if you need it at night. Not to mention that it would provide some shade and air conditioning for a little bit. Just make sure to put it in park!
Room Temp
Who knows, maybe it will get cold at night on the island, and you know what you would want then? A space heater, correct? We get cold in our apartment here, so we can imagine we are going to get cold on the island.
It offers a little slice of luxury while sleeping on the sand. Granted, this plan is contingent on there being a plug to power the heater...tiny details!
Jet Set
Who didn’t want a jet back when they were a kid?! We would often dream of them and finally having the ability to fly where ever we wanted.
So, if we were going to a deserted island it would be the perfect place to bring one. We could quickly scout the island or even escape. We'll take it! Of course, we would have to know how to operate it, which we don't.
Binge Watch
We are going to get bored on the island, and we will need some entertainment. So what will you bring?
Well, this person wanted to bring their favorite tv show “Community” on DVD to help entertain them while on the deserted island. Maybe it will give them a false sense of community? Or maybe it will just emphasize how lonely they are, so maybe it's not a good pick.
Floaty
We have always wanted a boat, and we can’t imagine a better place to sail than off your deserted island. You can take in the sights and sounds of the sea as you drift along the shoreline, and have some shelter from the elements.
Plus, if you ever wanted to escape you have a vehicle that could help you do it. Just make sure it’s a sailboat instead of a motor boat because you don’t want to get lost at sea with no way to power your vessel!